Meredith as a wee newborn omg.
I probably started thinking about my second baby while I was still pregnant with Meredith. It’s just the nature of infertility if you want to have more than one, which we do. After the birth my doctor told me to wait 18 months before getting pregnant again if I wanted to give myself the best chance possible to avoid another C-section. At the time I thought it would be a long time to wait and I secretly hoped I’d just turn up pregnant within the year (oops!), but now here we are at almost 16 months out, it’s gone by super fast, and I’m nowhere near pregnant.
I saw my OB again recently for my annual exam and we talked about trying to conceive. The last time I wrote about getting pregnant again I was conflicted, and to an extent I still am, but I am sensing a change within myself. I think I will be ready soon, but I know that doesn’t mean my body will cooperate. First of all there’s my underlying PCOS, and on top of that there’s the fact that I am still breastfeeding Meredith. It’s only two, maybe three (on the weekends), times a day, but according to my doctor that is enough to make it pretty much impossible to track my cycles. She said if I really want to give myself the best chance at pregnancy (and this is what a fertility specialist would tell me as well), I need to wean.
I’m just not ready to do that though. Throughout this whole conception/ pregnancy/ birth/ baby thing, breastfeeding is the one aspect of my body that has worked perfectly. I know that I can bond with Meredith in other ways, but it won’t be the same. So I discussed with my doctor what she would recommend once I wean, but in the meantime we are just going to do what we can:
>Clean up my diet. When I got pregnant before I was pretty much eating gluten free, and I believe that it helped. There is a link between PCOS and insulin resistance that a low glycemic index diet can help overcome. I really need to gear up mentally to eat this way though, because it is hard. Meredith will be 18 months in January and I hope by that time I’ll be ready to make the change.
>Visit my nutritionist and take her supplements. I’ve been seeing her since before I got pregnant with Meredith and she has helped me get fertile and have a healthy pregnancy. I think she can help me again.
>Try to track anyway. It might not work, but I figure I can give the daily temperatures a shot, and get some cheap ovulation predictor kits.
I definitely feel less stressed this time around, and less of an urgency. I still really worry that it won’t happen for us again though, especially when I hear pregnancy announcements of second babies. I always dreamed of a full house, but I never imagined how much work it would take to get there.
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