This is the sign this week on the billboard of the church that I live near. Yes, it’s very cheesy but it actually encouraged me today. Because, my friends, the going is not easy for me at this moment. I am enormously stressed with many things.
First of all, money. I am broke, not to mention in debt. David has already proven his love for me many times over, but in the last month he has compounded that by giving generously to me in my time of need. We say that it’s “our money” now, because we’re trying to change our way of thinking before we get married, but until we share the same checking account it’s going to take some swallowing of my pride to accept so much.
So I have cut my spending down to almost nothing lately. I take the bus to the medical center and catch rides whenever possible. I don’t eat out. Heck, I don’t even buy groceries. I’m going to eat our cupboards bare. (Although yesterday I splurged and bought cereal, because I just couldn’t live without it anymore.) Also, I am working as much as I possibly can. This is tough because…
…I am also enormously stressed about school. We have about three weeks left, and they are not taking it easy on us. Not that I’d expect them to, but I really wish I could just focus all my attention on my board exam. However, I have a paper, a project, an exit exam, and finals to conquer. And lately I have not been doing as well as I need to be on my practice exams. It’s very hard to find time to do all this when I need to be working in all my spare time.
I am worn down. Weary of worrying about where I’ll find the money to pay my bills, of skimping in every area possible to save money, of always having work to do for school, of not having a day to just relax without feeling guilty.
I know this is the time when I need to give everything to God. And I do, every day. Some days I start out great and then end up stressed again by the end of the day. Some days (like today) start out horribly but somehow end up OK.
But I’m going uphill, headed for something good. Thanks for sticking with me.
