Author: Kathleen

  • meredith’s birth story, part one

    Four days prior to giving birth

    Meredith’s due date was approaching, and I was becoming increasingly swollen and tired. I planned to work up until I went into labor, but my resolve was weakening. On Monday, July 18 I saw my doctor. She checked me and declared me to be 1.5 cm dilated, and my cervix was soft. She stripped my membranes, but said that they weren’t very well attached to the wall of my uterus so she wasn’t sure that it would have the desired effect of sending me into labor. I certainly didn’t feel like I was going into labor anytime soon. I started taking herbs and doing natural remedies to get things started, because one of my biggest fears was having to be induced.

    I guess I should mention here that having as natural as possible of a birth was very important to me. I took 8 weeks of The Bradley Method classes, I read The Birth Book, I got a doula, and I felt prepared. I still planned to have the baby in the hospital, however, because a) I work there and the insurance coverage would be amazing, b) I found a fantastic doctor that I wanted to stay with, and c) first-time parent nerves. So I was willing to be flexible and work with the hospital guidelines, and my doctor was willing to help as much as she could, too.

    But back to the story. On Tuesday I decided to drive to work instead of taking the bus. My charge nurse had assigned me to give injections that day, which was a relief since it doesn’t require as much walking. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions on and off for the past couple of weeks, but as that day went on I noticed that they started to change. The pressure with contractions started to hurt a little bit to the point that I actually had to lean against a desk or wall a few times in the afternoon. I had decided that I would take Wednesday, my due date, off work one way or another; if I hadn’t gone into labor then I’d need a day’s rest to make it through the week. I finished out that day of work and my coworkers hugged me goodbye. I knew that something was starting to happen, but I didn’t know how long it would drag on.

    As I was making the hour-long drive home I decided to time the contractions using an app I had on my phone. Turned out they were lasting 30-50 seconds and were approximately 5-7 minutes apart. That was a lot more regular than I thought. Before going home I stopped at my friend Sara’s house to borrow a bunch of baby clothes she had for me. While I was there I went to the bathroom only to discover that my mucus plug had come out. When I finally made it home my husband was so excited to get things moving, and at first I was, too. I was walking around, timing the contractions, but then all of a sudden exhaustion took over. I begged David to let me relax awhile because I had just worked a full day and I really wanted to get some sleep that night.

    I ate some applesauce, then got in the bath tub. I dozed off a bit, and while I was there one of my best friends, Carmen, called to ask me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. After the bath I settled on the couch to rest. I thought I might catch up on some TV, but my contractions began to get more and more painful. Eventually I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to relax. I called my mom and asked her and my dad to come over and pick up our dog Oliver. I knew it would be good to have him taken care of even if nothing happened that night. While my parents were on their way, I began timing the contractions again. They were now almost a minute long and coming about every four minutes. It was to the point where I couldn’t focus on anything else other than getting through the pain while I was having one.

    I now knew that it was time to call the doctor. It was 7 or 8 p.m. by this point, so I paged the on-call. While we waited for the call back, I finished packing my hospital bag and then experienced the only real nesting instinct of my whole pregnancy. I began tidying things up and issuing cleaning orders to my husband and to my parents when they arrived. By the time the doctor called me, I was ready to go. When I described the situation he told me to “shake a leg” and get to the hospital. He said the nurses would check me and be in touch with my own doctor, who would most likely be taking over. I had been in touch with Kelly, my doula, and Cio, my birth photographer, and at this point I let them know that we were ready to go. My parents left to take Oliver home, Kelly met us at our house, then we headed out.

    I was excited to be in labor, but it felt surreal – until a contraction came, then it became very real. It hurt a lot more already than I expected it to. The drive back to the hospital was shorter than usual because there was no traffic, but it was still about 45 minutes. David wasn’t driving too fast because Kelly was following us, but occasionally I had to politely encourage him to speed up a little bit. We finally got there and parked in the garage, and decided to just bring all of our things inside. I led them to the labor and delivery floor and we were let in. I filled out just a little bit of paperwork and then we were escorted to our room, 617.

    Part two

  • Postpartum Thoughts: The First Two Weeks

    Soon I will sit down to write Meredith’s birth story, but it was such an overwhelming experience that it might take me awhile. In the meantime, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about what I’ve been going through in these first two weeks of motherhood, so I wanted to get some of them out while they’re fresh on my mind.

    >I didn’t expect to be so emotional about everything! I suppose it’s not a surprise considering the state of my hormones and the fact that I’ve just experienced the biggest life change ever, and yet I was still caught off guard. It started the night before we left the hospital. David was asleep and it was just me and Meredith up for most of the night. She wouldn’t let me sleep for long, and every time I dozed off I had a nightmare. I would wake up crying and couldn’t stop. The next day when we left I was sobbing, and this continued on and off for the next few days. On the drive home I had visions of terrible things happening to her. I wasn’t afraid to be at home, but I was sad to leave the whole birth experience behind. I had been anticipating it for so long, and then it was over. Not to mention it didn’t go at all as I had hoped it would. I liked the attention and the help I received in the hospital. I liked seeing my doctor every day. I liked the visitors. I liked ordering my food. And I was already sad about Meredith growing up and changing – still am. Two weeks later and I’m still emotional, although I don’t cry as much. My husband thinks I seem sad, but I’m not.

    >My body. I knew I would probably have some loose belly skin or flab where there wasn’t any before, but I didn’t know I would still look six months pregnant. Thankfully my stomach has continued to shrink day by day and now my pooch isn’t too big. Right now I’m about fifteen pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight and I hope it’ll continue to go down a bit. The area around my belly button is pretty hideous right now with the stretch marks and linea negra. For the first few days after the birth I was more swollen all over than I ever had been, but that’s all subsided now. (Although I still can’t fit my wedding ring over my knuckle. Sadness.) So far I’m still experiencing some carpal tunnel syndrome. It’s definitely better, but my fingers are still numb and tingly. If this doesn’t go away at some point I’ll have to see a specialist about it, but I think it might just need more time. I did have a C-section so I had a significant amount of pain at the incision site, and although I’ve gotten myself off the pain meds it’s still tender and sensitive. It’s so weird to look at myself in the mirror now; I can’t believe it’s me. I feel self-conscious sometimes about the way I look, but I try to cut myself some slack and allow myself to heal.

    >Breastfeeding is an adventure! I didn’t get to nurse Meredith for an hour or so after she was born, but thankfully my hospital is extremely pro-breastfeeding and everything was done in order to make that a success for us. So far I can’t complain too much, as Meredith latches great and is gaining weight like a champ. It doesn’t hurt like I thought it would, and I only had a couple of days where I even needed to use the Lanolin ointment. So all of that is great, but we don’t have any kind of routine or pattern. Every day and night is different, and I can’t seem to figure her out. I’m trying to feed her on demand, and in general she seems to nurse 10-15 minutes at a time every single hour. This is getting tough because it means she’s basically attached to me at all times. Today she started to spit up quite a bit, so I think she might be nursing for comfort. So far she won’t accept a pacifier, but we’re going to keep trying. She has to go to daycare in a couple months and will need to be soothed by something other than me!

    >So far this is kind of how our time is spent. I head to bed later than usual, anywhere from 9 to 11 p.m. For the first half of the night Meredith nurses every hour or two in short increments. Sometimes I can sleep in between, sometimes not. I try to put her in her Rock and Play Sleeper at my bedside, and usually she lets me until early in the morning when she just wants to sleep on my chest. David wakes up for work around 7:30, and we stay in bed resting until around 9. I nurse her in the rocking chair in the nursery and read, then I shower while she sits in her sleeper. We nurse again and then I finally make it out to the kitchen to eat around 10 or 11. For the rest of the day I will watch TV, do things around the house, or read. Sometimes I sit on the couch, sometimes I lounge in bed, sometimes I’m up and around. There are lots of nursing breaks, and many days my mom comes over to help. David comes home from work around 5 p.m. and he’ll get me anything I need and we hope that Meredith will let him hold her for awhile. Usually we watch a movie or TV show before bed.

    >Being on maternity leave is weird. I feel this strange sadness like the world is going on without me, and I actually miss my coworkers and my job somewhat. It leads to some isolation and restlessness, but it helps to have little outings every so often. I so wish that I could take walks around the neighborhood, but the heat wave prevents that. David and I went for a walk around the mall over the weekend, and my mom took me to get my nails done. Those were good things. I like having visitors, but too many is overwhelming. I also love being able to take my time doing everything during the day. Taking care of a newborn is definitely work and not exactly relaxing, but I feel honored to be the one doing it. Sometimes I feel like I could just stare at Meredith all day long and be happy.

  • Good Things: July

    July was crazy, but somehow I managed to keep up with my list of one good thing each day:

    1 – Dinner with Bryan & Misti

    2 – Shopping with Mom

    3 – Lunch with Maggie R.

    4 – Making brownies on a whim with David

    5 – Starting an IV on a 95-year-old lady on the first try, carpal tunnel and all

    6 – Crawling back into bed with David for a few extra minutes before work

    7 – Getting a package in the mail

    8 – Dinner at my parents’ house

    9 – Seeing Super 8 with David

    10 – Getting the house clean, even the bathtub

    11 – David coming to my doctor’s appointment and talking on the way home

    12 – My in-laws bringing a delicious dinner and seeing my nephew Lucas for the first time in two weeks

    13 – David cleaning and having dinner waiting for me when I got home from a long work day

    14 – Movie night with David

    15 – Getting off work 3 hours early

    16 – Finishing a cross stitch project for the nursery

    17 – Fun book club meeting and reconnecting with a high school friend

    18 – Harry Potter with Lauren

    19 – Finally going into labor for real

    20 – Meredith is born!

    21 – A full day with Meredith

    22 – Getting all needles and wires out, taking my first shower in three days

    23 – Coming home from the hospital

    24 – Birthday party for my dad and father-in-law

    25 – Successful errands with Meredith and my mom

    26 – First sit-down dinner as a family of three

    27 – Getting a glowing report for Meredith by the pediatrician

    28 – Delicious dinner from Clydell

    29 – Catching up on TV shows

    30 – A full day of visitors followed by a low-key movie night with David

    31 – Walking around the mall with David just to get out of the house

     

  • introducing

    I’m so happy to let you know that Meredith Susannah was born on her due date, Wednesday July 20 at 3:46 p.m. She was 7 pounds, 3 ounces, 20 inches, with a full head of hair, dark blue eyes, and a single dimple.

    Of course there is so much more to say, and I can’t wait to write it all down, but bear with me as we get settled and home and get into the swing of things.

    We went through so much to get her, and here she is. I can hardly believe it!

  • A Day In Pictures: 38.5 Weeks Pregnant

    My due date is ten days away, and I’ve realized that it’s only my demanding job with an hour-plus-long commute that makes me feel desperate to give birth. I’m still really enjoying my weekends, when I get to relax and prepare. I would love to deliver this week for several reasons, but as of this moment I don’t feel like that will happen and I’m psyching myself up for another full week of work. I see my doctor tomorrow, so we’ll see what the plan is.

    Yesterday I decided to document my day in pictures, and this is something I’d like to continue from time to time. So here’s what I did!

    (All pictures taken with the Hipstamatic app on my iPhone. They are pretty terrible but I never claimed to be a photographer!)

    9:00 a.m. – Breakfast, with a little reading on the side.

    10:15 a.m. – Waxing appointment. Ouch!

    11:30 a.m. – I accidentally got locked out of the house for a bit, so I took the opportunity to do some reading. :)

    12:45 p.m. – Working on the blog and catching up online.

    1:15 p.m. – Getting ready to go out with David. None of these clothes is maternity! A medium shirt from Gap and a stretchy skirt from H&M.

    2:00 p.m. – We went and saw an afternoon showing of Super 8 and loved it!

    4:30 p.m. – Working on the never-ending task of thank-you notes! I can only do a few at a time because of the difficulties I have with my hands.

    6:00 p.m. – Dinner at Los Cucos with David’s family, yum.

    7:30 p.m. – Watching my new favorite TV show, Secrets From a Stylist with Emily Henderson. She’s adorable (tweets and blogs, which I love) and has great ideas for the home!

    8:00 p.m. – My foot gets a little love from Cleo. :)

    9:30 p.m. – Reading in bed, my nightly ritual.

    10:34 p.m. – Lights out!

    Yesterday was a really nice day. I got a few things done, went on a few outings, and was even a little productive! Today I’ve been doing boring things like cleaning and preparing for the week, but I’m making sure to take breaks and as a bonus I have a massage this evening. :)

    How was your weekend?