kapachino

Author: Kathleen

  • How I Learned That It’s OK To Walk

    I’ve played soccer since I was about 7 years old, and soccer is a sport that involves a lot of running – sometimes up to 10 miles a game. I didn’t really mind running during games or practice because there was a purpose to it.  For a long time I hated running for its own sake.

    I grew up training hard for my teams, practicing daily and playing in elite tournaments with three games a day in 100-degree weather. I was surrounded by trainers, coaches, teammates, and dads that pushed me to the limit. Sometimes I broke down, but overall I pushed myself right along with them.

    When I graduated college I continued to play on adult teams in the area, but these were much different. Most people had grown up playing soccer and had talent, but the point of the game had changed. It was more about fun now. For example, if it was a Saturday morning game, it wasn’t uncommon to have several team members show up with hangovers.

    These teams didn’t hold practices, so it was up to me to keep myself in shape. I decided to give running a try, and when I did my first 5k I found that I really enjoyed the race culture. This was something I could get into, I thought.

    Unfortunately, when I entered nursing school I had to drop out of playing soccer except in the summers. The games just didn’t work with my schedule. Along with it went my running efforts. Before I knew it, months had gone by without me running.

    Eventually some friends inspired me to pick it back up again, but for the first time in my life I realized what out of shape really means. I couldn’t run a 5k. I could barely run a mile. If I tried, I hated every minute of it, and gave up. That’s when I discovered the C25k program, which is a run/walk interval that slowly increases the amount of running until you can run a straight 5k. For some reason if I was sticking to a “training program” it was OK for me to walk. It was less embarrassing that way.

    The interval method works. Since I discovered it, I have allowed myself to fall out of shape many, many times – like I am now. I’m not happy about it, but I know how to fix it. I don’t always use the C25k program when starting out, but I have finally gotten to a place where I’m content to stop and walk if I need to.

    My current training method when I run is to listen to my body. I allow myself to walk if one of the following happens:

    • I feel like I’m going to vom
    • I get sharp or very achy cramps
    • I feel like I am going to fall asleep mid-stride
    • I don’t think my legs are going to hold me up much longer

    I would also walk if I felt like I was injured, but that hasn’t happened yet. I’ll walk until I sense my body has recovered, and then I’ll run again. Eventually I’m able to run farther and walk less.

    It works for me. I’ve been getting the urge to run lately, and since I’m in need of distraction from certain anxiety-inducing realities I’ve decided to throw myself back into it. I’ll be an expert 5k-er by the end of this year, just watch. Anyone with me?

  • 101 in 1001: Editing the List

    I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about the state of my life, and how I’m going to become the person I want to be. That’s one of the reason I created my list of 101 goals, to help me achieve that. I’m 397 days into it, and although the list has been a huge motivator I have also realized that some of the goals I originally set down either don’t fit with me anymore or don’t fit in to the next couple of years. They had actually been hanging over my head until I had the epiphany that this is MY list, and I can change it if I want to. It’s not there to make me feel guilty.

    After these 1001 days are up, I’m going to work on my life list, and I’ll probably take on smaller challenges in the future too. In the meantime, here are the changes I’m making to my current list.

    #18. Learn how to style my hair –> Transition to all-natural personal care products. Honestly, I’m not that into hair. I’m so awkward when I try to blow-dry using a round brush that it actually angers me. I decided I don’t care if I never know how to fix my hair in any special way; it’ll look nice enough straightened and left down. But staying in the category of beauty, I am very interested in transitioning to organic products whenever possible.

    #22. Make a habit of paying extra principle on the mortgage each month –> Refinance the house. Paying extra principle on our mortgage was an idea we got from David’s uncle, and is probably a good idea if we were positive we’d be staying in our house until we pay it off. Since we can’t be sure of that, it’s not really the best idea. Instead we need to refinance to get a lower interest rate, which will really help out with our cash flow.

    #42. Learn conversational Spanish –> Take another class from Leisure Learning Unlimited. Learning Spanish is definitely a life list thing. It’s important to me, but I don’t know how long it’ll take. Instead I just want to take another random class (hiking? photography? cooking?), and who knows what’ll turn out to be my next favorite hobby.

    #54. Drive down the California coast –> Take a vacation with only my husband for at least a week. The California coast trip will be going on my life list. It’s just too expensive to try and pull off during this time of our lives when we’re still starting out.

    #60. Get the house painted –> Paint the entire front half of the house. Our house basically has a front half and a back half, and when we bought it the entire thing needed to be repainted: trim, doors, ceilings, everything. Since we’re doing it ourselves, it’s quite a chore and going very slowly. If I can finish the front half for now, I’ll be happy.

    #63. Plant flowers in the backyard –> Plant something. Our backyard is a constant source of shame for me, as our dogs have really messed it up. I try to keep it tidy, but for the foreseeable future my focus is going to be on the inside of the house, and not the outside. Once I get the inside fixed up and can focus some attention on learning how to garden (and deal with the dogs) I’ll plant some flowers or vegetables. Right now I’d like to start slow, maybe an indoor herb garden.

    #67. Build a pretty and well-organized home office –> Set up a fully-functional and decorated dining room. The office project sounds fun, and will need to be done eventually, but what I really need first is a place to have people over for meals. Our tiny breakfast table isn’t cutting it.

    #101. Beat Mario Galaxy on Wii –> Expand my vocabulary by 100 words. When we got a new Wii I lost all the progress I had made on this video game, and I was pretty far. I don’t have it in me to start from scratch, though I will play occasionally because it’s fun. But when it comes down to it, I won’t ever care all that much if I beat the game or not. Learning new words, on the other hand, is fun AND something to be proud of.

    ***

    I’m really happy about my updated list. It’s more reflective of my life right now, much more achievable, and I’m looking forward to completing every single item!

  • Natural Health: Beginning the Process

    Lately I’ve become extremely interested in natural wellness. Usually people in the medical field have a reputation for being reliant on drugs and medication, and as a nurse I do believe that they have their place. In my field (cancer and blood disorders) I see patients where things have gone horribly wrong in their bodies, and medications can save or extend their lives but also take an overwhelming toll on them.

    Up until this year I have taken my health for granted. Growing up I would experience the occasional sickness or headache, but nothing too out of the ordinary. This year I have felt betrayed by my body several times over, and it’s jolted me into awareness. I still consider myself a healthy person overall, but I want to start taking care of myself naturally before things get worse.

    I’ve begun actively seeking non-drug treatments for any issues I have. Personally my main concerns are infertility, nutrition, and headaches, but underneath that is the desire for overall wellness. Some of the things I’m pursuing are acupuncture, massage, chiropractic care, fitness, and a nutritional overhaul. It’s going to be a process, and unfortunately it won’t be cheap. You’d think that since I work in a hospital I’d have great insurance, but that’s not the case. I have in-network benefits only and that network is basically limited to the hospital system.

    Of course I’m not completely shunning the medical community; it is my profession after all, and one I’m passionate about. But I’m not the kind of nurse that pushes medication on my patients; I encourage them to decide what is best for them and to consider other options. I personally still see a primary care doctor once a year for physicals, and I do plan to undergo fertility treatment. Maybe the natural treatments & changes I’m taking on would allow me to get (and stay) pregnant, but I’m a little bit impatient in that area.

    I’d like to share the journey with you, so from time to time I’ll be posting about each aspect of natural health & treatments that I’m experiencing.

    What are your health concerns? What kind of natural solutions have you found effective or ineffective? Is there anything I should try?

  • book review: animal, vegetable, miracle by barbara kingsolver

    As the author herself describes it, “This is the story of a year in which we made every attempt to feed ourselves animals and vegetables whose provenance we really knew…and of how our family was changed by our first year of deliberately eating food produced from the same place where we worked, went to school, loved our neighbors, drank the water, and breathed the air.”

    Sounds like a nice little memoir, but this book is much more than just their family’s story of eating nothing but local, organic food. It’s also a well-researched defense for this way of life, and I have to say, I’m sold. Give me a few acres of land and a pitchfork and I’ll learn to garden & farm to my heart’s content.

    OK, maybe I won’t go that far. But seriously, this book has had an enormous impact on me. It has hit me from all sides: logically, emotionally, medically, ethically, and even spiritually. It is impossible for me to eat the same way – or even shop the same way – now that I’ve read this book.

    Already I’ve made changes. If there’s an organic option at the grocery store, I’m choosing it. In fact, I’ve started frequenting farmer’s markets and all-organic stores like Georgia’s Market. Sometimes it’s really hard to do, because the price difference is noticeable, but to buy conventional food now would require me to actively ignore what I know to be true, and I just can’t do that. I’m not going to get into it here, because I couldn’t even scratch the surface – and that’s what the book’s for.

    I want to make even more changes eventually. I signed up for a class to learn how to make my own cheese and dairy products at home, for example. And I want to learn how to garden, although I didn’t know the first thing about it before reading this book. I couldn’t have even told you what fruits or vegetables are in season when, except that watermelons are for summer and pumpkins are for fall. I have a backyard, and I don’t want to use it just as a giant toilet for my dogs. I want to grow things, and eat them.

    Does this sound boring? It’s not. If you’ve ever read anything by Barbara Kingsolver you know that she writes beautifully, and this holds true for nonfiction. (Incidentally, if you’ve never read The Poisonwood Bible do so as soon as you can. You’re welcome.) I was captivated from beginning to end, and never felt the words coming across were judgmental or snobbish.

    I may not ever like vegetables as much as the next girl, but I do plan on retasting some of the ones I previously rejected: asparagus, for one. And I may not ever be able to tell the difference between a Yukon Gold and an All-Blue potato, but I do believe I can make a difference with the way I eat.

  • Au Naturel

    Although I’m a naturally optimistic and positive person, every once in awhile I have days where life gets the best of me and I feel utterly lost. During those times it seems like nothing helps, no good advice makes me feel better, no plan of action gives me hope, I am falling slowly into an abyss that is void of all happiness & chocolate.

    Today is one of those days.

    What’s gotten me down right now is health issues and financial strains, and for some reason this leads to the conclusion that I will never be the person I want to be. Don’t ask me how I made the jump in my mind from an increase in property taxes to my utter failure as a human being, but it happened. It’s taking me all the effort in the world to get back.

    I wasn’t going to post today because I knew I was probably incapable of being positive. But then I read that today is bloggers without makeup day, and I thought how fitting. I had to force myself to shower, let alone put on makeup or do my hair. So I’m writing to let you know that this is me. I struggle and I hurt and I get completely irrational and depressed.

    But at least I bounce back.

    Searching for that smile,

    K.