Author: Kathleen

My brother and I got the pleasure of leading worship in church today. I absolutely love it when we get to do this, but I’m not always “feeling it.” Today I was. Here is our set list:

• “Indescribable” – in a different key and a little more laid-back than the original since we only had an acoustic guitar
• “With Every Breath” – one of my all-time favorites, and one my voice is perfectly suited to
• “Awake My Soul” – my brother sang awesome harmonies
• “Doxology” – a classic

We got a lot of compliments which is so nice and encouraging, but not the reason we do it. I am trying to convince my brother to play with me once a month or so.

This afternoon was my sister-in-law Kim’s baby shower. She is due to produce a new Forbes boy sometime in January. It was fun to see a bunch of David’s relatives and to dote on baby gear. And Kim got me a perfect hostess gift:

Now I can avoid those coffee spills in style!

This evening I got a chance to tidy up the house, do laundry, and take care of some household business. I feel much better about starting the week when those things are done. Tomorrow is a 12-hour day, and when I come home I will be watching the Texans with my husband. I am okay with this, even though the Dancing With The Stars finale is on at the same time, because I have Tuesday off and I can just record it and watch it alone then.

It’s not quite 8 p.m., but I’m going to wrap this up and get ready for bed because that is the smart thing to do. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend, and I’ll be back tomorrow with some more nonsense!

In my second semester of nursing school, I had my first and only panic attack.

It was my first day of clinical at a new hospital. I didn’t really know what I was doing. I had stayed up too late the night before. I didn’t feel extremely anxious, but my body begged to differ.

I was in a patient’s room with the nurse I was following, when I began to feel slightly nauseous. Then, my heart started racing. Soon I was nearly hyperventilating and I didn’t know if I could stand up any longer. Embarrassed, I excused myself and went to the break room to sit down. It took me 30 minutes to recover.

Thankfully, the episode hasn’t repeated itself since then. I don’t struggle with chronic anxiety or depression, although several people near and dear to my heart do. But I have some particular things in my life going on that cause me to tense up, some situations that cause me sadness and worry, as well as dealing with day-to-day stress. When I showed up to the one-day women’s retreat for my church last Saturday and saw that the topic was “seeking God’s peace,” it didn’t jump out at me at first. But honestly, who doesn’t need more peace in their life?

I went to a very pacifist college, and I have done entire studies and book reports on the concept of peace. But this retreat was not an exercise in theology. It was this:

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength. –Corrie Ten Boom

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. –Mark Twain

Peace is a gift of God, and God is the only one who has peace to give. –John Hagee

When I was 21, long before I met my husband, I went through a very bad breakup with a boyfriend. Think the opening scenes of Legally Blonde, where Reese Witherspoon expects her boyfriend to propose and then he breaks up with her instead. The details aren’t important, but up until then I hadn’t experienced anything so devastating. Obviously, in hindsight, the whole ordeal was a blessing. The great thing was, though, that it was a blessing at the time as well. Yes, I was miserable for months and scarred for years. But I can honestly say that I don’t think I’ve ever grown as much spiritually as I did then. Somehow, during all that turmoil, God granted me peace.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart! I have overcome the world. –Jesus, in John 16:33

The following song was written by JJ Heller, in the midst of her struggle with panic attacks. It was played for us at the retreat, and now it will always be special to me.

No matter what is going on in my life, I know that my good God has it under control. He’s got it. And that’s enough to bring me peace.