Author: Kathleen

week in the life 2014 : some thoughts on the process

Last week I decided to take part in the intense documentation project called week in the life that was started by one of my favorite memory keeping bloggers, Ali Edwards. Here are some thoughts on my first time taking part, along with some of my favorite photos from the week.

Early morning list-making and coffee-drinking.

She had just woken up. She is attached to this dog and blanket right now. / Liam at the doctor.

Nebulizing.

Bible study and nursing.

A sticker Meredith gave me that I had forgotten was there. / Punching the code at daycare to pick up the kids.

My current desk at work.

Computer time while David was on kid duty. It was a gorgeous day so I kept the back door open.

Walking outside to take a breather during a toddler meltdown.

Dressed up for picture day. Liam thinks it’s hilarious when Meredith jumps on the bed. / Just hanging out.

Unmade bed.

Family portrait after church.

***

This is a project that had been on my radar for a couple of years but it always seemed too difficult. This year, even the day before the challenge begun, I almost decided not to do it. I was very intimidated.

I had some perfectionist tendencies within me that I had to let go of. The fact that I don’t have a nice camera. That I might not be able to keep up. That I might forget to write anything down for an entire morning or an entire day. That my house wasn’t decorated how I want it to be. But in the end, I decided to go for it. I reminded myself that anything documented was better than nothing.

I didn’t do much to prepare ahead of time. I printed out Ali’s daily sheets to take notes. I jotted down a few reminders of pictures I wanted to take and stories I wanted to capture. And then I just did it. During the week, I only focused on documentation. After a couple of days it was already a habit, so much so that the Monday after the project ended I had the urge to continue.

I wrote down what we did each day in a detailed manner, and I also wrote a lot of reflective observations to put everything in context. I don’t have a great memory so I knew if I didn’t write stuff down I wouldn’t remember what happened or why I took the photo.

(My mother-in-law asked me why I wanted the family pictures after church and I told her I was doing a project where I intensely documented a week in our lives. Then I had to add “…even more than I usually do” because to them I’m already extreme. :))

My only camera is my iPhone so that’s what I used, and I didn’t stress about it. I tried to do some self-timer shots using the TimerCam app, and they turned out okay. I would really like to get an iPhone tripod.

Halfway through the week I decided to order Ali’s week in the life album kit (without the album). The stuff inside is more colorful than I usually go for, but I thought this would be a fun opportunity to do something different than what I do with Project Life. Right now I am even thinking of doing completely black and white photos and letting the journal cards and embellishments provide the color. This approach also appeals to me because candid, iPhone photos aren’t the greatest quality and black and white can really make a difference in minimizing that.

The week that I documented was, overall, a pretty normal one. Coffee. Bible study. Work. I had easy days in the clinic and busy ones. I pumped. We nebulized. We did a hundred puzzles (or, rather, one puzzle a hundred times). There were some meltdowns. Some very sweet moments. Family dinner at home almost every night. Arguments over bedtime almost every night. Chores on Saturday. Rest on Sunday.

Then there were a few things out of the ordinary. A doctor’s visit for Liam (although, that’s kind of normal lately). Halloween. No Friday night dinner with my parents, but my mom accompanied us trick-or-treating. We saw a play for date night. And Liam crawled for the first time.

I am so glad that I did this. It was much easier to keep up with than I expected. After only a couple of days it was pretty much habit, so much so that the Monday after the project was done, I had the urge to continue. Using my phone camera made it easy to capture little things.

In the coming weeks, I plan to put together a mini album for this project. If I do this yearly, I think it will be the perfect companion to Project Life, which gives more of a general overview of our lives and hits the high points. This has the nitty gritty, the routines, the little things that don’t normally get documented. I love it.

I’ll be sharing my album with you for sure – my goal is to finish it before Thanksgiving because at that point I want to move on to my holiday minibook. I haven’t been this excited about something in awhile.

I do encourage you to consider doing this challenge yourself. I chose to take the plunge during the “official” week because I thought I needed the encouragement, but it can obviously be done at any time. What you do with the photos and stories is up to you, but I can already tell it’s going to be something I treasure.

November 6, 2014
instax home life / 3

I have some more home life Instax photos to share! These are from a couple months ago and then I took a break from this project, but after this I have one more round and then I’d like to make an album for them.

>Liam in the kids’ old room
>Where the play room used to be
>Ice cream break

>In the high chair
>The start of a gallery wall
>Homemade pizza

>Reading in bed
>Breakfast tacos
>Moving rooms

>A corner of the kids’ new room
>Craft room
>Meal planning

November 5, 2014
keeping up with personal projects when you feel overwhelmed

Life has been busy lately! Between all the sicknesses in our household, a spirited toddler, more patients at work, and an overbooked schedule, I haven’t had much time for myself. That’s okay; it’s the season of life I’m in and I know it will come and go.

You probably know by now that I am a very goal-driven and aspirational person. I always have personal projects that I’m working on, both big and small, and even more that I’m dreaming up.

I actually become even more inspired when I am busy with other things. When I’m active physically my mind is active as well. Lately I have so many ideas and dreams and hobbies that it can be easy for me to get overwhelmed with them and lose focus. When I find myself mindlessly playing games on my phone instead of making any progress toward my goals, I know something needs to change.

Here’s what I do:

1. Write everything down.

I’m a huge fan of the Getting Things Done method. I use the Things app to capture any task or idea, placing them in the Inbox. That way I can stop using mental space to hold onto them. Then when I have some time, I can go back and categorize the tasks or create new projects out of them. I do that in the app, or using Evernote if it’s something larger.

2. Figure out what needs attention NOW.

I’m talking about personal projects here. It’s always a given to me that I put my faith, my family, my job, and the household first (that includes housework and meals). Sometimes there isn’t time for anything else, but usually I’ll have small pockets of time here and there even during a busy season. So I like to have a plan for what I want to focus on.

For me, right now, there are three ongoing activities that I want to keep up with: my training runs, blogging, and reading. Probably in that order. The runs are important because I feel better when I exercise and I don’t want to die when running the half marathon in January. Blogging is a constant creative outlet (good for my soul) and a community. Reading is just something I love, and I’m part of two book clubs that I want to keep up with.

Once I figure out that those are the most important things for the moment, I make a plan. Ideally I’d love to run 4 times per week, but my goal is 3 (two short runs on weekdays and a long run on the weekend). On an especially busy week I could make do with 2 (a short and a long). I tell myself that during any downtime I can work on the blog or I can read. It’s okay if my posts aren’t amazing or if I only read a few pages a day. I’m still making progress, and I’m not wasting time.

3. Prioritize the larger projects.

Then there are the larger projects, dreams, and goals. These are what can really trip me up because I want to do all of them right now. But when I gave myself permission to delay working on some of them, a weight was lifted. I decided to focus on one thing at a time for now, and this is what it’s looking like:

>Holiday prep (including purchasing gifts, my annual holiday minibook, and possibly completing the advent calendar)
>Liam’s birthday (planning his party and any memory-keeping to go along with it)
>A quilt for Meredith
>Blog development
>A possible creative business idea

So that’s what’s working for me during this busy season! Now it’s your turn to share your tips. How do you keep up with your personal projects?

November 4, 2014
working mama files: johanna from these prices

Working Mama Files is an interview series designed to support and encourage working moms along the path to having a fulfilling life.

Today I’m delighted to host Johanna from the blog These Prices. She is a beautiful writer who never fails to inspire me and touch my heart. She has a deep faith and I have so loved following her story of the adoption of her two children. Recently she made the transition to stay home with her kids, but before that she had a full-time job in ministry. I’m excited to share her with you today!

Who lives in your house?

My husband Aaron, me, Harry (3.5) and Posey (22 months). Plus two dogs, Eller and Scout.

Up until recently you were working a job that, as you say, wasn’t “just a job” to you. Will you tell us about it and how you ended up there?

I was the communications director for a large, multi-site church. We began attending there shortly after we moved to Minnesota, and about a year later, I was hired FT as part of the Communications team. About two years after that, I was promoted to director. No one goes to work at a church for money or glory; I definitely felt called there, and I stayed there after I became a mom because it wasn’t just about paying the bills. It was about doing Kingdom work, and I knew that was where God wanted me.

What led to your transition to staying home with your kids?

Shortly after I went back after my second maternity leave, I started to feel a stirring that it might be time to move on from full-time ministry work. (Which can be really hard at times.) But other times, our lives really worked. I’d been on a 32-hour a week schedule since my oldest was a baby, and for the most part, our lives worked. I felt fortunate to have that extra time with my kids while also getting to do work that I loved and work that I was really good at. But that schedule was also hard; there were Fridays where I felt like I wasn’t present enough with my kids, because I was checking email or answering phone calls. And there were many times where I felt like I wasn’t leading my team well, because I wasn’t there on Fridays. Or I always had to leave on time, because I was the one who needed to get home first to relieve the nanny. And just “like that” (not really that quickly, but it was one of those things that felt like it happened over a long period and also all at once), one day the pieces fell into place for me to be able to leave FT work. I felt like God had released me from that calling and that He was calling me home for this season.

A big part of your story involves adoption. Will you give us a brief overview of how that came about?

The short story is that we struggle(d) with infertility, but knew we really wanted to be parents. After two years trying to get pregnant, and losing one baby, we made the decision to pursue adoption. We were chosen by our son’s birthmother the same day he was born. About a year and a half later we were connected with a woman who was looking to make an adoption plan, and she chose us to be her baby’s family. Our kids were born two years apart, to the day.

How did your job do maternity leave?

I was able to take up to 12 weeks per FMLA. Because I didn’t give birth, I was of course unable to have any of that time paid the way most American women have their leave covered (short-term disability). So with our son, I only took 8 full weeks. I then took my remaining hours spread out over a 10 week period at 15 hours a week. (Something a lot of peple don’t know is that FMLA is broken down by the hour, so you actually get 480 hours). It was hard to go back when he was so little, but it was great to only work 3.5 days for several months. When my leave was used up, I was able to go back as a limited full-time employee. Because we had a longer lead time to prepare for our daughter, we were able to save so that I could take the whole 12 week leave at once.

Even though your kids are adopted, you were able to provide them with some breast milk. How did that work?

Incredible mothers! We received enough donations for Harry to have at least one bottle of breastmilk a day for almost a year. But with our daughter we were blessed like crazy, and her diet was almost exclusively breastmilk. There were several women who donated to us multiple times, and one woman even pumped just for Posey for a time.

When I think about you, I think about faith. I’m in love with the posts you write about keeping the faith in this motherhood journey, and especially how you link the adoption of your kids to our adoption as children of God. How do you keep your relationship with God a priority?

That is really kind of you to say, because sometimes I don’t feel like I do! I connect with God through singing, so I listen to a lot of worship music. And this might sound kind of simplistic, but I just think about Him a lot. Psalm 1:2 says to meditate on his word day and night. I kind of think that’s what that means. Not that we’re cloistered away reading scripture by candlelight, but that we’re just always thinking on Him. Staying attentive to His spirit. He wants to talk to us. He wants to guide us. But our lives are so noisy; so jammed full of stuff (sometimes literally), we can easily crowd him out. I want to live awake.

What kind of things do you do to teach your children about God? Anything structured or does it just flow naturally?

One thing we’ve started doing over breakfast is read a daily devotional written just for preschoolers. But the biggest thing is to pray with them. Now that Harry’s almost 4, he has started requesting who he’d like to pray for. The other night he wanted me to pray for stars and sheep. At first I had no idea how to pray for those things, so I just started talking, and I ended up praising him for his awesome creation and talking about how we are his sheep, and how grateful I am that He is shepherd who guides us and loves us. The other thing that I think really helps—both for me and to show my kids who God is to me—is for them to hear me praying when I need help. When I feel impatient or frustrated, I pray out loud. Even when it’s them I’m impatient and frustrated with!

What was your biggest doubt, fear, or resistance in being a working mom? And now that you’ve experienced both perspectives, what do you see as the benefits of it?

I never saw myself as a working mom, so when I first went back to work, I struggled with that identity. I also allowed lies and people’s judgments to crowd out what I knew was right for both my family and my faith. It took me awhile to stop letting those lies color the way I viewed myself as a mother. Other than providing financially for my family (we never would’ve been able to pursue a second adoption had I not been working), my children learned that other people can love and care for them. I learned to allow people to do that. I contributed to a mission I believed in, and I was walking out my giftings and the calling God had placed on my life. Being a working mom taught me that God’s grace is big enough. It’s big enough to cover your children while you’re away from them. It’s big enough to fill in the gaps when you feel like you’re not good enough.

Do you have any practical tips or ideas to pass along that help you lead a more joyful, fulfilling life?

Learn to rest. Be present. Be proactive about finding the way that you connect to God and then do more of that. (I’m still trying to get better at doing all these things myself.)

Now a few questions for fun…

How do you like your coffee? Or are you a tea drinker?

I like coffee all ways! Now that I’m Whole30, I take it with coconut milk. Not sure if I’ll ever go back to cream (at home), but I also definitely like a coffee-shop treat from time to time. (And when they’re allowed. Looking forward to a PSL in October!)

What was the last good book you read?

Reading 11/22/63 by Stephen King right now. It was a really random purchase, but I’m enjoying it. Gone Girl is probably the most recent book I’ve read that has really stuck with me.

What’s on your nightstand?

My Bible, a photo of my husband, phone charger, an antique lamp that belonged to my grandmother, and a stack of books

Favorite social media site?

Instagram, hands down. I could do without the others if I had to, but not Instagram

Can you recommend one blog you read?

I read everything by Kristen Howerton at Rage Against the Minivan as soon as she posts. I like her no-nonsense approach to parenting, and I really look to her as a guide and mentor in transracial, adoptive parenting.

***

Join me in thanking Johanna for sharing her story with us! And connect with her on her blog, Twitter, and Instagram.

See all the posts in this series here.

November 3, 2014
link roundup / 20

Today I’m sharing some stuff I found around the internet. Enjoy!

>I am 95% sure I’m going to attend Texas Style Council. They had me at CAMP.

>The new FitBit products look awesome. I want the Surge now that I’m training.

>One of my favorite bands, Over the Rhine, is debuting their new Christmas album on the New York Times right now.

>Pretty excited about Elise’s new venture.

>The ultimate clutter-free gift giving guide. This is amazing and I’m definitely using some of the ideas here.

>I really related to this post about the doldrums.

>A new-to-me blog I’m loving.

>AMEN TO THIS: “And it reminded that this is all they really want. They don’t care about enrichment activities or sensory play or whatever. They just want me, and honestly that’s what makes it so dang hard. Because I’m no good. I’m weak and selfish and lazy and easily annoyed. But they want me anyway.

It’s the Gospel, isn’t it?”

November 1, 2014