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  • Dog Days Of…Winter?

    So the whole three dogs scenario is turning out to be pretty tough. Let me preface by saying that I am crazy about dogs, but I in no way know how to train them. Not only do I not know how, but I am not interested in learning. I don’t have the time, energy, or patience. I don’t think this makes me a terrible person; I think it makes me normal.

    We were blessed that Cleo and Eddie are so well-behaved. Pretty much the only bad thing they do is chew the window sills, and Eddie has these random panic attacks that disturb our sleep from time to time, but overall they are very laid-back and sweet. We had a good life, a calm life. We had our routines.

    Oliver has changed all that. We have learned the hard way that he has to spend the night in his crate, along with any time that we’re not home to supervise him. Of course this makes us feel guilty, but it is the only solution at this point. Any time we’re home we let him out, but that means we can’t relax. He needs constant monitoring and attention. Gone are the days that I can just lounge on the couch after a 12-hour work day; Oliver is up there with me, in my face and on top of me. Gone are the days of somewhat clean floors; Oliver tracks dirt wherever he goes.

    We have had some good days. There were a few mornings that were SO good that I thought we were through the hardest part. I would let all three dogs out together and they would all do their business. I would feed them, and all three would eat. Eddie and Cleo would hop on the couch to doze, and Oliver would lie at my feet while I ate breakfast. Then I’d put him back in his crate and go to work.

    Today, I’m about to lose hope. Since the dogs have been getting along so well lately, I put them all outside to play while I cleaned the house. They were out there for a couple of hours, and when I glanced out the window they looked so cute together. I was in the middle of mopping the floors–furniture moved, water everywhere – when I heard barks that didn’t sound right.

    I ran outside to see Oliver and Cleo in a real fight. Thankfully I had already researched how to break up a dog fight without getting hurt, and was able to get them apart by pulling on their back legs. I got Oliver into the garage and promptly gave Cleo a bath with the hose. We were all muddy, and both dogs were bleeding from a few spots; nothing deep, but enough to alarm me. I cleaned the wounds with hydrogen peroxide as best as I could. I left Cleo and Eddie outside while I finished cleaning the house, then I let them in and shut them in my room with bones.

    Oliver wasn’t as dirty, but he wouldn’t let me clean his bloody ear. I let him in the house, and for a little while, with them all separated, things were calm. Then Oliver peed on one of my nice coats, which was hanging from the back of a chair, right in front of my face. Needless to say, he’s back outside.

    Many times have either David or I uttered the phrase, “We have to give him away.” But every time the other one says no. I can’t really blame him for all these problems. He’s just a huge, hormonal puppy with a bad leg who doesn’t know what to do with his energy. He’s adorable, and sweet if you give him a chance. I love him, but I don’t know what to do with him.

  • Book Club: Schooled by Anisha Lakhani

    At least half of the members of our book club are teachers, or have been at some point. And those of us who aren’t happen to enjoy a good prep school book every once in awhile, so this was a natural selection for us.

    The simple storyline of this book is as follows: a recent Columbia graduate, Anna Taggert is passionate about teaching despite her parents’ protests about it being a waste of her Ivy League degree. She finds herself lucky to receive a position at a Manhattan Upper East Side private school, but soon discovers it’s nothing like she expected.

    First of all, she lives in what she considers poverty. Then the administration comes down hard on her when she starts teaching “real” lessons, saying that she’s trying to make the rest of them look bad. Everything caters to the families who are listed as “Friends” of the school (aka those who donate the most money). Her students boss her around, her students’ parents bribe her and threaten her, and she is pressured into not giving actual grades. More outrageous stuff happens.

    But then Anna discovers the mysterious and lucrative tutoring world. As soon as she realizes she can score $200 an hour or more, she’s hooked. She balks a little at first when she is slowly suckered into actually DOING her clients’ homework, but the justifications soon set in. Before long she’s not only a part of the private school world that she despised, she’s the epitome of it.

    Schooled was a quick, easy read that I found myself mildly fascinated with and appalled by. But in the end, it was too shallow. We only get to know a few characters, and they are one-sided. No real relationships are formed. There is a single plot without any depth. Although it was written to make a point, I have my doubts as to how realistic the story actually is.

    We get a picture of students who can barely write a coherent paragraph being carried through the most prestigious schools because tutors are doing their work for them. They make it into Ivy League schools and land big-wig jobs simply because of their name or their family’s money. While that may happen on occasion, I don’t think it happens in such a general way as this book made it seem.

    In the end, Anna returns to her morals and figures out a way to actually teach. The problem is, her solution was obvious from the very beginning.

    ***

    If you’d like to read along, next month’s book is Labor Day by Joyce Maynard.

  • Ashes To Ashes

    I was rushing around today at work, busy as usual. Even though I’m not giving chemo right now, there’s still plenty to do. I was in the middle of admitting a patient when my manager came to the door to get me. I read her lips, and that’s how I discovered that one of my other patients had just died.

    It was somewhat expected by this point, although the disease conquered her in just a few months. The family wanted an autopsy done, not because they didn’t know why she had died, but because she was the kind of person who would have wanted her death to mean something. They wanted as much knowledge to come out of it as possible.

    I know that I come into contact with death more than the average girl, but each time is uniquely difficult. Today I felt the stark contrast of the new life that is taking shape in my body with the bleak scene in front of me. As I gently cleaned my patient’s body and wrapped it in the shroud, my hand reached idly to touch my forehead, where the trace of ashes still remained.

    Remember that you came from dust, and to dust you will return.

  • so about that…

    Thanks everyone for all of your comments and congratulations! I was overwhelmed with happiness at all the support. I actually published that post on accident, so it’s a good thing we weren’t planning on keeping our news a secret. :)

    I don’t plan on blogging about pregnancy stuff a whole lot, so I figured I’d address some things up front for those of you who may be curious. First of all, David and I have been trying to conceive for over a year. Because of my irregularities (now explained by PCOS) I knew we would have a difficult time, but it didn’t make it any easier to experience. We’re blessed that we didn’t end up having to go through fertility treatment, but I was prepared to, and I had all of the emotions. Of course, now I have this irrational fear that I’m not actually pregnant, or that something is drastically wrong. I guess that’s normal, but I’m trying to be positive and trust God with this.

    When the doctor told me I’m pregnant, I was extremely surprised and pretty much speechless. All I could manage to say was, “Are you positive?” and to stutter out, “I don’t see how that’s possible.” As soon as I finished with my appointment I called David at work and told him, “Your day is about to get a lot better.” We called our siblings that afternoon, and visited our parents in person that night.

    I don’t feel a thing, and I’m hoping it stays that way. Right now I’m still considering doing the triathlon in May, although I guess I’ll have to see how I feel. I really want to do it. There are also a ton of other things that I’d like to get accomplished in the next 8.5 months. I’ve decided that apart from work and church, I want to continue to focus on blogging and reading, as well as exercising and getting the house fixed up. It’s kind of overwhelming.

    Speaking of work, a large part of my job involves giving chemotherapy. Even though I’m very careful and wear complete personal protective equipment, I thought about it and decided that I don’t want to take the risk. Thankfully my manager was completely understanding. It may be inconvenient, but I will just have to take care of the patients who aren’t there for chemo.

    That’s all I’ve got for now. I have a lot to learn, and a lot of decisions to make in the coming months. In the meantime, I’ll just keep praying and living life!

  • growing a human

    Last week I visited a reproductive endocrinologist to begin fertility treatment. After a long consultation, the doctor said we’d start by doing an ultrasound to see if there are any abnormalities. There were two. First of all, like she thought, I have polycystic ovary syndrome, which explained a lot. Secondly, there was this:

    Yep, I’m pregnant! It’s just a little blob, but it’s ours. I’m only five and a half weeks along, with a tentative due date of October 12. I have zero symptoms, and it doesn’t feel real – I guess it is, though. I don’t know the first thing about this except for what I remember from nursing school, which isn’t much. Women have been doing this from the beginning of time, though, right???

    If you have any questions, let me know and I’ll try to answer them for you soon!