Author: Kathleen

  • excerpts from my journal

    excerpts from my journal

    excerpts from my journal

    excerpts from my journal

    Inspired by this, I’m going to share periodically some of the personal journaling I do.

    Tuesday morning. 5:30 a.m.

    Liam is sleeping in my lap in a dense bundle of warmth and cuteness. I am watching Meredith sleep on the monitor, all curled up. And I can hear David softly snoring.

    I just drank a cup of coffee and wrapped up the last lesson in the Bible study on James. What an amazing book.

    I am so grateful for my life. For these children I’ve been entrusted. For the husband who is my partner and my love. For our home. It is all a happiness.

    But for all of these good gifts from God, I know there is more. There is a greater gift, a greater blessing, a greater understanding and fellowship with God. It will come through sacrificial giving, and serving, and yes, suffering. I want to know God and experience him in that way. I want to truly live out my faith.

    Now Liam is squirming, and grabbing my hair, and wanting to nurse. He has morning crust on his eyes that I wipe away. Soon Meredith will wake up and cry, “Mommy I wanna hold you.”

    And God, I want to hold you.

    ***

    It’s Saturday. 6 a.m. The kids are both awake.

    Liam didn’t sleep well so we were up a lot in the night. Meredith peed all over our bed for the first time in awhile. She is now sitting in my lap “writing” in her own “journal” while Liam kicks and squirms around on the floor, probably wanting to be picked up.

    I am sucking down coffee and snacking on chocolate-covered espresso beans that Mom gave me last night.

    Today is starting early, and I am already tired. It’s one of those weekends where I have a lot on my personal to-do list, so I could easily be disappointed in the amount I actually get accomplished. Time to practice the art of prioritizing and slowing down.

    “All done,” Meredith says. Next on her to-do list is watching Frozen again. She points to Liam and says, “He’s a baby.” Yes, he is. But not for long.

    ***

    A Thursday. 5:45 a.m.

    I’m sitting in the craft room. It’s not a very pretty room but it’s oh so comfortable. Outside the sprinklers just turned on and the noise they made as they sputtered to life sounded like a dog sniffing and for a moment I looked around for Eddie or Cleo. No one there.

    Everyone is asleep but me for the moment. The quilt I started two years ago is on my lap, only missing the binding. It makes me happy. Soon I will start working on one for Meredith, for her big girl bed. It’s time.

    In a couple of days this oh so comfortable craft room will be cleared out, painted white, and kid furniture moved in. I’ve been putting it off – I hate painting, I hate moving things around, I hate living in limbo with stuff spread all over until I have time to organize and set up. But I know it’s time to move away from the family bed, and having a room and beds of their own is the first step.

    Of course I’m sad. Bedtime can be hard, but I do so love to feel their little bodies pushed up against me. Meredith, not always much for cuddling during the day, loves it at night. When she stirs, her first instinct is to reach out her arm for something to hug close.

    Liam just woke up and now he is in my lap, nursing. My big, happy baby. Maybe I can leave him in bed with me a little while longer.

  • project life 2014 : weeks 33 – 34

    Here’s my latest Project Life spread, which I just barely pulled off in time for my self-set deadline of posting every other Wednesday. I usually work on this on Saturday mornings, but over the weekend I turned our house upside down painting and rearranging rooms and all my craft stuff was displaced. So I did this yesterday afternoon instead, since I got to come home early from work.

    project life 2014, weeks 33-34: kapachino

    This is from August 11 – 24. They were pretty normal weeks. Meredith completed swim lessons, Liam turned 7 months old, it was really hot outside, I was working and running and quilting. The usual.

    project life 2014, weeks 33-34: kapachino

    project life 2014, weeks 33-34: kapachino

    Gosh I just love the way Meredith loves Liam, and how he has special smiles and laughs just for her. For those of you with a second child on the way or are thinking about it for the future: don’t worry! It’s awesome!

    project life 2014, weeks 33-34: kapachino

    project life 2014, weeks 33-34: kapachino

    project life 2014, weeks 33-34: kapachino

    project life 2014, weeks 33-34: kapachino

    I guess I don’t have a whole lot more to say about this spread! Feeling a bit worn down at the moment from all the chaos at home. It’s taking me longer to recover from things these days…must be getting old. :)

  • life interrupted

    life interrupted

    life interrupted

    life interrupted

    Over the weekend we decided to tackle the project of switching the nursery, which the kids had been sharing but is very small with only room for a crib, with the craft room, which is the largest bedroom other than the master. I don’t need all that space for crafts, but the kids could use a bigger playroom and this way Meredith can have a “big girl bed” that hopefully she’ll be sleeping in soon (fingers crossed).

    I have known that something like this was going to have to happen at some point. Whenever I got frustrated with the family bed situation I would think about all that needed to happen to get the kids into their own beds and I’d feel so overwhelmed that I’d just go into denial. But I have two long weekends in a row and things are slow at work, so there really was no better time.

    I’d been dreading the project because for one, I hate moving things – I love to feel settled and at home, with everything in its place. I’m not someone who rearranges furniture for fun. I knew this wasn’t going to be a day-long project either; it’s going to take a couple of weeks to really be finished, most likely. I dislike the thought of my stuff being spread around the house for that long.

    And two, I hate painting – I knew I’d want to go ahead and repaint the kids’ new room because I never liked the wall color with the new carpet we had put in and this was the best time to just go ahead and knock that out. Even the ceiling needed to be painted, ugh.

    On Saturday we spent all day painting. With the help of two generous friends and my mom to watch the kids, it still took way longer than I expected. By the end, we had finished, but there was time for very little else that day.

    On Sunday  morning I managed to wake up early and do my Bible study before the kids awoke. That day I read the story of Moses and the burning bush. Do you know it? Moses has been a shepherd in the desert for 40 years when one day he notices a bush on fire that is not being burned up. So he decides to investigate the strange phenomenon. Then this verse happens:

    When the LORD saw that he turned aside to look, God called to him from the midst of the bush and said, ‘Moses, Moses!’ And he said, ‘Here I am.’ –Exodus 3:4 (emphasis mine)

    I was completely struck by the fact that God didn’t reveal himself until Moses turned aside from his ordinary routine. The burning bush was an interruption, and Moses paid attention.

    Obviously this little changing of rooms ordeal is minor in comparison to many other possible life interruptions, but after reading this I still decided to see what I could learn from it – what God was maybe trying to reveal to me about himself through it. I was surprised at how much I came up with:

    • My friends Lauren and Gerardo, along with my mom, gave selflessly of their time and effort all day to help us, and that showed me an awesome example of servanthood and Christian love.
    • We moved out all the stuff from this room and painted it white. It’s a clean slate, just like God gives us despite our sin.
    • For the moment, all of my craft stuff, and a lot of junk I was holding onto, is scattered throughout the house and exposed. I will be forced to confront it and my intention is to get rid of whatever isn’t necessary. This exercise would be good for my soul as well.
    • All of this stuff being out of place and unsettled provides me with a good reminder that this house – this world – is not my final home, and my life is not my stuff. I am traveling through.
    • I couldn’t do this project on my own, so it makes me appreciate the people in my life and emphasizes that relationships are ultimately most important.

    After that exercise I felt a lot better about the whole process. I really want to remember this for next time my normal life gets interrupted.

    How about you? How do you react when ordinary life gets interrupted? In what kinds of situations do you think God tends to reveal himself to you?

  • link roundup / 11

    link roundup

    Today I’m sharing some stuff I found around the internet. Enjoy!

    >I teared up at this post about maternity leave, and how becoming a mother fundamentally changes you.

    >Toddler quotes are the best.

    >Amazing Texas quilt top by one of the members of my quilt guild. (Do you like how I called it “my” quilt guild even though I’ve only been to one meeting and I haven’t even technically finished one quilt yet?)

    >I found this marriage advice to be spot on.

    >I’m trying out NatureBox (a healthy snack subscription service), do you use it?

    >Do you sleep in pajamas, something cute, or an old t-shirt like me? I’ve been frustrated with my sleepwear lately and want to get something like this – perfect for nursing and looks cool (as in, not hot).

    >I used to do crossword puzzles all the time but I fell out of the habit; this article makes me want to pick up the hobby again.

    >We are working hard on painting and moving rooms today, and this roundup of shared spaces keeps me inspired and pushing through because I know the end result could be great.

  • currently

    currently

    Genius: This was a really weird week because our census was super low at work so I got to take Monday and Tuesday off. I knew I was getting Monday off, but I didn’t know about Tuesday. Three day weekends make a huge difference in my attitude because I felt like I had SO MUCH TIME. I took things slow and easy on Saturday and Sunday because I knew I had an extra day to get things done. And the funny thing is that I was still pretty much done with everything before Monday came around! (Mental note: calm down.)

    So I decided to keep the kids home with me on Monday and it was awesome and special and fun. But THEN I found out I could stay home Tuesday also, and I dropped those kids at daycare, read for a solid hour at Starbucks, took my time picking fabric at the craft store for Meredith’s quilt, finished everything except the binding on the other quilt, and went to the gym. It was fantastic.

    Fail: One day last week David and I were meeting over at his parents’ house for dinner. He had Meredith, and I had Liam. As I was driving over there, Liam fell asleep in the car. When I pulled up, Meredith and her cousins were outside playing so I got out and said hi to them and then went inside. My sister-in-law, who I hadn’t seen in a couple of weeks, was there and so we said hello and she asked, “Where’s Liam?” Yup. I had left him in the car. Of course it was fine, it was only a couple minutes, but this is how worse things can happen! Is there some sort of alarm you can get to make sure you don’t forget your baby? Am I a horrible mother?? (Don’t answer that.)

    Currently:

    planning a big room switch for this weekend so the kids have a room that will fit two beds

    dreading all the painting and moving involved

    no seriously, getting a knot in my stomach just thinking about it

    optimistic about what the end result will be

    glad that I have two more 3-day weekends coming up

    realizing that there is a type of chick lit I enjoy, and it’s written by Liane Moriarty

    reading The Husband’s Secret

    allocating our extra money: emergency fund, debts, house repairs, vacation fund

    trying to be financially responsible

    frustrated that the tension on my sewing machine seems to be off again

    looking forward to a couple family birthday meals this weekend

    Happy weekend!