kapachino

Category: motherhood

  • meredith at eight months

    She:

    >Is such a chunker. I haven’t weighed her recently, but I think she must be close to her fattest point. She drinks as much breastmilk as ever, plus baby food twice a day.

    >Hasn’t crawled yet, but I can no longer consider her “immobile.” She covers a lot of ground on the floor by pushing up, rocking, and pivoting!

    >Is easy to make smile, and lately has been laughing more. Over the weekend I laughed with her for probably thirty seconds straight, and it was pretty much the best thing ever.

    >Still goes to bed easily and sleeps well. Every night I nurse her to sleep in the dark and lay her down in the crib. Then when I’m ready for bed David picks her up, puts his hand on the back of her head, and brings her in to me.

    >Clearly recognizes people she knows – especially me and David, but also her grandparents. She looks us in the eye and smiles.

    >Loves to stick her tongue out and blow raspberries. Sometimes she blows them on me. One day she’s going to give me a baby hickey.

    >Will pull out any bow or clip that I try to put in her hair within minutes, and immediately put it in her mouth. She has even learned how to take out her ponytails, so I have to send her to daycare with crazy, untamed hair now.

    I:

    >Am still really struggling with the no coffee thing. I’m to the point where I no longer have a perpetual headache, but overall I’m less energetic and happy than I was before. Basically, I think I’m a better person with coffee, and I will be drinking it again for sure after Lent is over.

    >Have had some random emotional moments over the past month. Sometimes I even cry again when dropping Meredith off at daycare. Probably it’s the no coffee thing. (I’m blaming everything on that right now.)

    >Am starting to feel really guilty about the fact that I never cook. It’s sad that I can’t remember the last time I did. I mean, Meredith won’t be eating baby food forever; at some point I’m going to have to provide regular nutrients for her that don’t come from a breast, and I’m really stressed out about it.

    >Am in denial about babyproofing. I won’t do it until I have to. Until then, I think I’ll just watch her and move stuff out of the way.

    >Got my hair cut a week ago – just a trim and some long sideswept bangs – and I’m already ready for a bigger change. I’m going to chop it off, I just need to pick a style.

    >Decided to put the money I’ve been saving each month for a computer toward clothes and home decor instead. I realized that my personal style is sorely lacking since I wear scrubs all the time, and our house is barely even half finished. I need it to be my happy place.

    >Really wish I could work part-time. But I can’t. So I try not to think about it. I just want more time with this little girl:

    Tumbles happen when you’re learning to crawl.

    The video below is a great example of what Meredith is like right now. She makes me so, so happy.

    For reference:

    No months
    One month
    Two months
    Three months
    Four months
    Five months
    Six months
    Seven months

  • thoughts on second babies

    This is my first baby. She is awesome. She is so awesome that she makes me want to have more babies. But she is also so awesome that I am afraid to have more babies. That’s my thesis statement, and now on to the essay:

    I’ve always wanted more than one kid. When people ask me how many I want I just say that we’ll have one and see how that goes, and if we have another we’ll see how that goes. We’ll figure it out as we go.

    Well we have one now, and it is AMAZING. It’s better than I ever could have hoped. It took us two and a half years to have Meredith, and I would wait ten years for her if I had to.

    It was really hard to wait those years though. When we decided we were ready for a baby, I was READY. It was two years of worry and emptiness and longing, not always in the forefront but always there.

    Maybe this is why I still feel envious when I hear of someone getting pregnant. It’s crazy! I know this! I mean, I have a perfectly healthy baby who is only 7 months old. Because I had a C-section I was told to wait 18 months before getting pregnant again if I want to try a VBAC. But…we had to have medical help to get our baby, and I don’t know what round two will look like – if we’ll need help, or if it will even happen.

    Since Meredith is so great, I’m not scared of having a newborn again. I loved having a newborn. I miss it. I want to have hundreds of babies!

    Except…when I think about having another baby – an actual separate baby that is not Meredith – I get so anxious! What if I don’t love that baby as much? What if that baby isn’t as great as Meredith and I’m always comparing it to her? How can I ever not give Meredith my full attention? Is there any way that I can just have her all over again?

    Anyway. I still want more babies and I will probably always feel some kind of envy when I hear about pregnancies. And yet I probably won’t get over this weird fear of a second baby until I actually have one.

  • meredith at seven months

    I know I covered up her adorable fat rolls this month, but David bought her this perfect mermaid outfit and I had to put her in it. We call her Mermaid more often than anything so it really fits!

    She:

    >Still has no teeth, which is perfectly fine with me.

    >Sits by herself better and better all the time, and plays well independently.

    >Isn’t mobile yet, but I know it’s coming. She gets herself on her tummy all the time now, pushes up (and occasionally pushes up her pelvis too), and scoots a bit.

    >Loves the dogs! Cleo is especially interested in her, and anytime she starts licking Meredith opens her mouth. Gross, child. Meredith actually fell off the couch right in front of me once because she leaned over too far to pet Cleo. She was fine, but I felt TERRIBLE.

    >Is beginning to enjoy non-breastmilk food now and will take the spoon in her mouth eagerly. She’d prefer to feed herself, which we sometimes let her do, but most of the time it’s easier for us to just do jar food.

    >Has been erratic at bedtime, sometimes not sleeping unless I go to bed with her, and preferring darkness.

    >Hardly naps at all on the weekends. She doesn’t want to miss out on any time with us, and I feel the same way. But still, naps would be nice.

    >Prefers to play with (and therefore chew) paper, plastic, hair, and necklaces. One day I found a piece of a Kohl’s price tag in her diaper.

    >Is really good with her hands! I don’t pay attention to those baby development things, but I feel like this is an area she excels in.

    >Used to love lying on the changing table, but now she fusses every time we lie her down there. I think she’s entering a bit of a clingy stage!

    She’s got the over-the-shoulder modeling pose down.

    Tummy time requires intense concentration.

    I:

    >Seem to have some sort of perpetual mild sickness. I guess it’s drainage, resulting in a dry throat, cough, and an altogether feeling of tiredness. But it never progresses past the point of annoyance, and for that I’m grateful.

    >Have started taking baths with Meredith at night. She outgrew her infant tub, and we bought her an inflatable transitional tub in the shape of a duck, but she’s afraid of it and cries anytime we put her in it. I can’t actually bathe myself while I’m in the tub with her, but it’s fast becoming one of my favorite things for us to do together.

    >Am giving up coffee and chocolate for Lent and am kind of terrified. I chose this combination because I wanted to think of something that would be as hard for me as it will be for my husband to give up soda, which is what he’s doing. In preparation I have had Starbucks several times over the past few days and lots of truffles.

    >Can’t express my love for nursing Meredith enough. Although I’m getting more used to her eating other foods, I’m still so grateful that she wants me when she’s truly hungry, or tired, or upset. I hope that when it’s time to wean my heart will be ready.

    >Gave up on trying to exercise right now. I really do want to incorporate it back into my life, but it’s not high on the priority list at this time. Thankfully I have an active job so I’m on my feet a lot and not just sitting around.

    >Think we might have found the church we want to get involved in. We’ve been there for a month, and we’re signed up for the “newcomer luncheon” next week. Fingers crossed this one sticks.

    >Have been trying hard to find balance between work, family & Meredith, and hobbies. Work takes up way too much of my time, but I do have a great job and maybe one day we can afford for me to go part-time. If I’m not there I’m with Meredith and that’s what I want, and I fit in other things when I can, like after she goes to bed or while she’s napping or playing by herself on the weekends.

    >Think Meredith gets better and better all the time, and I am finally not missing her newborn-ness too much and am actually kiiiind of looking forward to her getting a little older. Seven months, though, is a really great age.

    For reference:

    No months
    One month
    Two months
    Three months
    Four months
    Five months
    Six months

  • Stuff We Loved: 3-6 Months

    We still loved and used a lot of the same things as before during the past few months, but as Meredith has grown and developed, new items and routines have made their appearance. Here are some new things we loved.

    >Ergo baby carrier (mine is in sienna sunset.) – I’ve tried a few slings and wraps and such, but this is my carrier of choice. We couldn’t use it until Meredith could hold her head up well, but there is an infant insert if you want to use it earlier. Anyway, I love that it goes over both shoulders and has tons of lower back support, I love that all you do is clip her in, I love all the pockets, I just love it. I find it very easy to put on and much faster than the stroller for quick errands. Meredith is happy in it, too.

    >iHome. Our nightly routine that usually works is that we bathe and change Meredith, then around 7:30 I sit down with her in the rocker, dim the lights, and nurse her. Hopefully she falls asleep and I place her in the crib, and I go about my business. We use this iHome to play this album of lullabies for her. It changes colors (although we don’t use that feature much, it’s still neat), is small and cute, and has good sound. We actually used the seahorse for awhile, which worked great too, but sometimes I need more than 5 minutes of music, and with this I can just leave it on repeat. We do take the seahorse with us if we’re traveling though!

    >Video monitor. We have this really nice one thanks to some generous church ladies, and it’s been great. We use it after we put Meredith down for the night. We set the big screen next to our living room TV, and thanks to the open layout of our house we can see it from the kitchen and laundry room. I take the handheld set with me into the craft room if I’m going to spend some time in there. Anyway, we need the video because with the music playing in the room the sound monitor is all thrown off. And our house is big enough that I might not hear her if I’m not close by.

    >Jumperoo. We are borrowing this from a friend, and I am so grateful for it. Meredith loves it to pieces and it’s extremely adorable to watch her bounce up and down and play with the toys. We use it almost every evening while we do chores to get ready for the next day.

    >Teethers. She doesn’t have any teeth yet, but she certainly loves to chew and drool. We use these things constantly, along with bibs. (But we haven’t gotten into any serious teething yet, so no recommendations there!)

  • meredith at six months

    She:

    >Weighs 18 pounds even and is 26.5 inches long, which is 75th percentile for both. She wears all 6-12 month clothes now. Nice and chubby!

    >Is so grabby and purposeful with her movements now! She can pick things up, pull things toward her, and manipulate them in her hands much better. I especially love when she’s nursing, her free hand reaches up and plays with my hair, twirling it, caressing it, and eventually yanking it. However, she has also tumped an entire glass of water over at restaurants twice now. I am learning my lesson!

    >Can basically sit up on her own now, although we still have to watch her because she’ll get distracted and topple.

    >Makes all kinds of new sounds, and enjoys being extremely vocal when she wakes up in the morning.

    >Sometimes starts crying around certain people, like David’s father and grandfather. I don’t know why she’s scared of them! But she warms up to them again very soon so it’s not too bad. It’s also unbearably cute to see her lower lip jut out when she’s afraid.

    >Enjoys playing with toys (especially her new Jumparoo) and throwing them down on the ground too. She cracks up when we play Patty Cake!

    >No longer sucks her two fingers. I can’t believe that phase was so short; it was the cutest thing and I miss it.

    >Sits in the high chair for meals with us sometimes. We’ve tried giving her some food, and once she swallowed a bit of banana, but she’s mostly uninterested.

    >Has a new baby cousin as of January 18 named Lily! I’m so excited that they’re going to grow up together and I hope they become good friends. Lily is tiny and perfect, and I absolutely cannot believe that Meredith was ever that small, and so recently.

    I:

    >Am dreading the start of solid foods. I keep postponing it. I want to do Babyled weaning, but even that low-stress approach is overwhelming to me. Breastfeeding (even with pumping at work!) has just been so easy for us, and even though I plan to continue for a good while I’d rather not have another thing to think about.

    >Made up a little game where I say, “All aboard the Mermaid Express!” then I bounce her up and down on my knee making train sounds. She smiles every single time we start to say all aboard! She also for some reason really loves it when David sings “Mama said knock you out” by LL Cool J.

    >Still love cloth diapers. We use mostly Fuzzibunz but I was surprised at how much I love the Flip system and want to get more of them.

    >Have gotten serious about losing all the weight I gained, mostly because I want to fit in my old clothes again. I started counting calories a couple weeks ago using My Fitness Pal, and it’s definitely working. The first few days were SO hard, but my body has already adjusted a lot. I feel much better, am less bloated, and no longer need as much food to feel full. So far I haven’t noticed a change in my milk supply, either.

    >Exercised for the first time since before I was pregnant (shameful) over the weekend by doing the 30-day Shred. I nearly passed out and am soooo sore now.

    >Am still looking for a new church. We’ve tried out two different places fairly thoroughly, and neither feels quite right to us, although they both have great things about them. It’s hard because I’m ready to settle into a new place and get connected, but I want it to be right.

    >Haven’t been as emotional or anxious this month as last. I think a lot of it is because I’m learning how to take care of myself better now; how to avoid my triggers and how to train my thoughts.

    >Am planning on starting Project Life on my next birthday in two weeks. I’ve become kind of obsessed with it. I wish I had known about it before the new year, but I’m not going to stress. I’m just excited to get into a nontraditional, consistent way of scrapbooking that won’t take TOO much effort. The Smash Book is fun to carry around and collect scraps, and I’ll still use that for random things, but Project Life will be more of a reflection of the day to day.

    >Can’t get enough of holding Meredith. Even if I just put her down for a minute, I’m always so excited to pick her back up again.

    >Want to have more babies, but I kind of wish I could just have Meredith all over again.

    For reference:

    No months
    One month
    Two months
    Three months
    Four months
    Five months