Posts About me

One Word: Suffering

December 1, 2010

Starting today, for the month of December, I’ll be participating in Reverb10, which is, according to their website, an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. One reason I’m doing this is because I’ve neglected to write lately, partially due to the fact that I’ve been studying for a huge test for the past month, and I think this’ll be a perfect kick start. But let’s be honest, it’s also because 2010 has been a hell of a year. I need to process it somehow. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Suffering. I wish it weren’t the case, but this has been a year characterized by…
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Three Things You Never Knew You Didn’t Need To Know About Me

November 3, 2010

First. I have this thing with symmetry. It’s kind of like an OCD tendency. It expresses itself in many different ways, like if I’m walking and my right foot scuffs the ground I don’t feel right until my left foot scuffs the ground too. I have these urges all the time, but for the most part I can resist them. The one area I never resist, though, is with eating. I must have the same amount of food, texture, and taste on both sides of my mouth. I’m very adept at it by now, so that it is almost an unconscious act. Second. I was in a play in college. It was called The Dining Room and it was a…
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Why I’ll Never Be Super Nurse

October 26, 2010

I work with a lady who I like to call Super Nurse. In addition to her full-time job in patient care on our unit, she is also in school to advance her degree. She is the chair of about a thousand committees. She is constantly conducting employee inservices and creating educational posters for the rest of us. She does research projects to figure out the best patient care. She plans all our parties. For a long time, I thought I wanted to be just like her. But then this year happened. We had a miscarriage, David dealt with debilitating pain and got both of his hips replaced, I developed food intolerances, and sunk into depression. My job, in which I…
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Friday Things: Making Me Happy

October 22, 2010

In order to lighten the mood around here, and to make it seem a little less like a self-help website, here are some things that have been inspiring me, exciting me, and making me happy lately. Planning epic road trips David and I decided that even though we are on a fast track to pay off our debt and save money by making tons of sacrifices financially, for our mental health we want to have vacations to look forward to. We’ve been putting away a little each month and will continue to do so until next summer when we hope to be able to take our trip. Our plan is to drive from here all the way up the Pacific…
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doing my best

October 20, 2010

I went to the therapist today, by myself. Usually David and I go together. He saw the therapist on his own before we got married and then we started going together. Our visits are billed to his insurance because my mine is extremely restrictive and almost everything is out of network. So today, since I was by myself, she billed my visit with a special code called “family without patient,” even though I’ve become the patient. Funny. I didn’t make a follow-up appointment, at least not yet. I don’t know what else to say to her right now. I know what my problem is. We’ve had an extremely difficult year, David and I, with too much going on. So I’ve…
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