Category: me

on time & task management

Today I want to talk about how, as a working mom with a toddler, I ever get anything done other than surviving each day. Don’t get me wrong, just surviving from one day to the next can feel like a major accomplishment sometimes, and it totally is. But I also know that my life is enriched and I am a better wife, mother, and person when I am able to do extra stuff as well.

I was inspired to write about this topic when I read this post from Pink Ronnie and this post from Elise Blaha Cripe. They have some great tips and it was super helpful for me to read their perspectives, but they are both able to stay home and have a much more flexible schedule than I do, so I wanted to share how I do things.

Know your priorities

Before I get into specifics, I have to say that the first step toward managing your time is to set priorities. I can’t do it all; I don’t think anyone can. My priorities are: being there for my husband and my daughter, spending time with the rest of our families, my spiritual life and being involved in church, and my Monday through Friday job as a nurse. Those are not negotiable. To a lesser extent, keeping our house clean and organized (and eventually decorated), memory keeping, reading, blogging, and crafting are secondary priorities to me.

There are a lot of things I don’t do. I don’t cook or bake for fun. It is all I can do to get dinner on the table for my family most nights, and we frequently end up having snacks or picking something up. I don’t garden, and we hire out our yard care. Even though I was an athlete until I got pregnant, right now I don’t exercise even a little bit. We have two dogs but we don’t walk them; they have a large yard to play in instead. We don’t take on large or extensive DIY projects. I am also completely out of the loop when it comes to pop culture: I don’t watch TV at all and rarely get to see a movie. This isn’t a humble brag; there are actually a bunch of shows I want to see and I totally understand TV as a hobby.

But I also don’t have any “mindless” time. I rarely let myself just browse the internet or Facebook. I hardly play games on my phone – maybe a few minutes every other day. Any time I do these things (or activities like them) it is on purpose. I try my best to use all of my time productively.

Almost all of the things listed that I don’t do interest me and it is my wish to be able to incorporate those activities into my life someday, but I have had to be honest about my capabilities at the moment and focus on my priorities.

With that in mind, here we go…

Master the mundane tasks

I really relate to the three layers mentality. There is the first layer of basic survival necessities that you pretty much do without thinking, the second layer of routine tasks to make your life run smoother, and then the third layer of extra, life-enriching stuff. The key is to making the first two layers easier and more efficient so that there is time for the third, fun layer.

In my life, the way I manage necessary tasks that aren’t always fun is primarily through two ways: routines and lists. They are my best friends. Anytime there is a habit or a task that I want to incorporate into my life I think about where the best fit for it is, and then I add it to my to-do list. After awhile it becomes routine.

I don’t think I can go any further without talking about the app I use to manage all this. It’s called Things and I would be lost without it. I am sure there are plenty of other apps out there that would be just as effective but this is the one I chose and I haven’t once regretted it. I learn more about what it can do all the time and it is constantly impressing me.

So let’s take one area of life that needs to be kept under control: house chores. I am a clean-as-you-go person so there’s never much mess, but with chores like sweeping the floor, laundry, checking on plants, vacuuming, bathrooms, etc. I found that if I don’t have a dedicated time to do them they won’t get done for way too long. I decided Saturday morning would be the best time for those things because it’s not a work day and I like to get them out of the way first thing on the weekend. So all I did was create a repeating task in Things for them, and now I never forget. I’ve been doing it this way for so long now that it hardly takes me any time to get them done.

I do this same process with basically everything that needs to be kept up with, no matter how frequent. I figure out what needs to be done, when the best time to do it is, then create a repeating task. Sometimes I even have to make lists out of really basic stuff (like taking my vitamins, skincare, flossing, etc.) in order to form a habit. I can do this with Things, or recently I used a printed out self-care checklist as a more visual reminder. Once those things became a habit I dropped the list.

I could keep going and going with more examples but I don’t want this to be too long and I want to get to the fun stuff! So let me know if you have questions about other specifics in the comments. One thing I do want to mention is that most of this “layer” – the chores and basic stuff – I manage to do with Meredith around, usually involving her in some way or with simple distraction.

Adding in the fun stuff

Now for layer three – the extra, fun stuff! For me this includes blogging, Project Life, reading, any kind of crafting at all, and house decorating. Some day in the not-too-distant future I really want to add exercise and gardening into this list. At the age Meredith is right now (almost two), I can’t do any of this with her around, really. I mean sometimes for the sake of getting a pocket or two of Project Life done I’ll let her loose in the craft room (she loves it in there but I don’t love her in there!) but then I know I’ll have a mess to deal with. Mostly though, she’s just very needy for me right now and wants my attention if I’m around. That is of course okay.

It depends on the activity how I approach getting this fun stuff into my life, but a huge part of it depends on my husband. Every weekend he takes Meredith out of the house for 2-3 hours so I can have alone time. Hopefully the chores are already done so I feel free to use that time creatively. Most of the time I either use it to put together Project Life or work on blog posts, usually alternating those every other week.

I use downtime at work as best I can. Sometimes there is none, but when I can I edit blog posts or photos to have printed for Project Life. I also ride the shuttle for about 20-30 minutes each day, so I always read my book at that time. Sometimes it’s my only reading time all week, but the books still get read. I listen to a lot of audiobooks on my commute, too. I also try to take off from work one day a month and still take Meredith to daycare. Those days I can make a lot of progress on a new craft, catch up on stuff, or just rest. I think working moms really need time like that because although we love being at home after work with our families, it’s not always relaxing. :)

So that’s all the time I really have for layer three. For many people a good time for this stuff is after the kids go to sleep, but since I wake up at 4:30 a.m. I pass out at the same time Meredith does. I’ve found that if I try to stay up later it’s completely unproductive and uninspired time anyway, and the next day I’ll be tired and sluggish. I have to be realistic about my limits and capabilities.

One last thing. Some of my fun projects aren’t routine, like Project Life, but are bigger and more long-term. Redecorating the house and teaching myself to make a quilt are examples of this. I love these type of projects and they keep me inspired and growing, but they can be very overwhelming. The way I make progress is to break it all down into smaller components and lists. For the house I am really focusing on one area at a time, but I also keep a list for each room of items I’m looking for (so I know what not to pass up at a thrift store) and things I want to do. Having it written down frees up that space in my mind. Again, I use the Things app for this – you can create unlimited “project” lists in it. For the quilt I broke it down into steps and am completing one part each month.

I know not every personality type would thrive in a system like this, but the key for me is planning, starting each day rested, and using all my time productively. I don’t have it all figured out yet – I am just barely getting a hold on meal planning and cooking, for example – but usually I feel pretty good about the state of things. Let me know if you have any questions!

May 23, 2013
my mother’s day wish list

So this really isn’t a gift guide or anything, unless you are looking to get me a gift. Then by all means! But my husband asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day and other than time with my family (and some time to myself, let’s be real) I was thinking that even though I keep a running wish list, there are types of things that I never seem to buy for myself but that I always want. So this is what I mentioned to him:

House plants – specifically, ones that can stand neglect like succulents. I am actually fairly attentive to my plants but since I’m just learning about them I need hardy ones. I have six small indoor plants at the moment and want way more.

Art Prints – Most of the walls in our house are bare. I recently pulled out some old art I had and tried to start a gallery wall but I realized none of it is my style anymore. I need lots more art to display that I actually love. The print pictured is one of my current favorites.

Monthly subscription box – Recently I have become kind of obsessed with these. So far I haven’t actually gotten any in the mail (although I will, and I will report back!) but I have been researching them all like whoa. I got to choose one for my gift, and after much deliberating I went with OliveBox which is all things pretty paper. A close second was UmbaBox which features different handmade items. I had also previously subscribed to PopSugar’s Must Have box which I’m super excited about (that’s my referral link there), and I’m considering something like Birchbox for my mom and mother-in-law.

Earrings – I am constantly losing one earring. Currently I have no complete pairs that are suitable for everyday wear. I like simple studs best and these are some that I’m loving.

Spa gift card – I love basically every treatment at the spa. I wish I could go every week, but instead I go maaaybe a few times a year. A gift card here is always appreciated.

So I’m curious, what kinds of things do you always love receiving as gifts but never think to buy for yourself or even ask for? What are you doing for your mother-figure for Mother’s Day, or how do you celebrate?

May 9, 2013
day in the life // april 2013

This is part of Ali Edwards’ monthly day in the life project. In 2013 I am documenting a day at the end of each month and including it as an insert in my Project Life album. This month was done on Tuesday, April 30.

***

4:30am – My alarm goes off. Meredith nurses for awhile and I hit snooze three times.

5:00am – Out of bed! I let the dogs out and tidy up in the kitchen. I hear Meredith wailing from down the hall so I go nurse her again but she is awake. This means I won’t be able to do my morning Bible study, so I go ahead and get us dressed, put on makeup, stuff some diapers, make coffee, and wake up David.

6:09am – We are out the door. I drop Meredith at daycare at 6:17am and it goes well as usual. She is quiet and tolerates my excessive hugging and kissing, but hardly looks at me as I leave.

6:20am – I drive to work, drink coffee, and eat breakfast (refrigerator oatmeal and a banana) on the way. Today I am actually in between audiobooks and have no podcasts on deck so I listen to nothing and just think.

7:10am – I park and get on the shuttle. I pull out a new book I’m just starting for book club – The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler. I read while I ride, then as I’m walking to my floor since it’s several buildings and elevator rides away.

7:27am – Clock in. Write down my patient assignment for the day and set up.

7:35am – My first patient is here so I get his IV started. I begin texting with my friend Lauren about the book Matched by Ally Condie which I just finished.

8:00am – I work on the computer (charting for work but also updating Goodreads, writing a Yelp review, sending an Evite, and checking email). Our pharmacy is running slow and I’m waiting on meds to be delivered. During this time I also text with my husband to check in and we discuss our financial situation.

9:20am – I finally get patient #1’s infusion begun. It’s only 15 minutes long and then I discharge him. I work on and place a large Amazon order.

10:00am – My second patient arrives. It’s her first chemo so I spend awhile talking with her. I access her port and draw labs. Again I’m waiting on meds to arrive so I do computer work – charting and start an email to a friend.

11:00am – Finish a couple long emails to friends. Still waiting on meds!! They are so slow today.

12:00pm – Lunchtime! Today a drug rep brought us salad from Gringo’s along with chips & queso. Yum.

12:45pm – I can finally start the premeds on patient #2.

1:05pm – Chemo is up and running on patient #2. I do a little blog reading.

1:53pm – My third patient arrives. I start her IV and wait on meds.

2:45pm – I start the infusion on patient #3 and catch up on all my charting.

3:00pm – I discharge patient #3 and discharge a patient for my coworker. Then I finish reading all the posts in my Feedly reader.

4:10pm – I get patient #2’s second infusion started then give report to a coworker. I forgot to chart some meds so I do that real quick and then clock out at 4:17pm and head to the shuttle.

4:37pm – I’m in my car and headed home! Starbucks stop, oops.

5:30pm – I stop off at a friend’s house to pick up a bunch of cloth diapers she’s no longer using.

6:05pm – I get to my in-laws’ house where David and Meredith await me. We talk about our days and I nurse Meredith, we eat dinner (hot dogs, fruit salad, carrots & dip), play outside with our nephew and niece, I talk books with my brother-in-law Scott.

7:17pm – We leave. I take Meredith by Famous Footwear and Target to look for sandals for her, but no luck. (Spoiler: we ended up buying these for her the next day.)

7:40pm – At home again and I feed the dogs and tidy up. I pull out the huge pile of diapers we just added to our stash. Super excited about them. Soon Meredith starts tantruming. We take a shower and afterwards she gets very attached to her towel and won’t let it go. We dress and get ready for bed.

8:50pm – I nurse Meredith in bed and she falls asleep. David comes home from a quick trip to the bookstore and we talk for awhile.

9:50pm – Sleep time for me!

Notes:

>This took place on the 30th which was a normal Tuesday. It was much harder to document when I had to work (and I failed to get many pictures during the day because of patient privacy issues) but I did my best.

>This was an extremely slow work day! I usually don’t have time to do so much personal stuff on the computer, and normally I wouldn’t even have been able to detail what I did with my patients. Unfortunately even though it was slow I still left late because of one patient.

>I didn’t get any photos of David and that makes me sad! He doesn’t really like having his picture taken but I still want to. I actually didn’t see him as much as usual this day so I hope next month it’s a normal family evening at home.

>My favorite moment of the day was pulling up at my in-laws’ house and seeing David and Meredith outside waiting for me.

>Loving this project! I’ve gotten away from taking everyday photos so it gets me back in gear.

May 7, 2013
day in the life // march 2013

I have decided to participate along with Ali Edwards’ monthly day in the life project. I wasn’t prepared to start at the beginning of the year but I think I can pull it off once a month from here on out. It happens during the last week of the month, usually the last day, but since in March that day was Easter Sunday I chose to document Friday the 29th, which I had off work. So this is a fairly typical weekend-ish day for me. I’ll be including these photos as an insert in my Project Life as well as the form I used to journal on.

4:30am – My alarm went off as usual for a weekday, but since I was not working that day I turned it off and went back to sleep.

5:00am – Meredith nursed. David was snoring so I kicked him.

6:00am – Meredith said “mommy” and cuddled up to me in bed (she still sleeps with us). David’s alarm started going off every 15 minutes as usual for him on a weekday, so I turned it off. At 6:30 Meredith nursed again and we continued to doze.

7:15am – Meredith woke up for real, saw our dog Cleo in the bed, pointed and yelled “Babo!” (that’s what she calls dogs). Diaper change, let the dogs out, COFFEE, Bible study while M. played with her mini kitchen. I gave her her antibiotic.

8:00am – We had breakfast (eggs with cheese and refrigerator oatmeal) while Cleo looked on longingly. I started on a flurry of chores – laundry, tidying up, water plants, take out trash, sweep – while Meredith wandered around making more of a mess.

9:00am – We took a long shower then got dressed and ready for the day. David was still sleeping; I usually let him sleep really late at least one day each weekend.

10:00am – Meredith and I went to pick up her used diapers from daycare that were left there yesterday, got gas in the car, then went to Target. We started at the Starbucks where I had a drink and we shared a blueberry muffin. I tried on a few clothes, though none of them fit right, picked out a potty chair for M. (it’s the only thing I ended up buying), and browsed the girls’ clothes and craft section. Drove home.

12:00pm – I got the diapers in the wash then quickly made my friend Lauren a birthday card while Meredith completely trashed the craft room. I tried to wake David up but failed. :)

1:00pm – We met Lauren at Red Oak Grill for her birthday lunch. Meredith got hummus everywhere and I enjoyed a ham & cheese sandwich. Lauren and I then drove to Sweet Things ice cream shop and Meredith fell asleep in the car on the way there. She stayed asleep in my arms while I ate a delicious cup of chocolate ice cream, but woke up right before we left to say goodbye to Lauren.

3:00pm – We came home (David was out doing errands), I got Meredith down for a nap, played Candy Crush on my phone until I was sure she was asleep, cross stitched a few lines and then decided to get a Project Life spread done.

4:30pm – Meredith woke up. I photographed my PL album then we went for a walk. Our neighbor saw us and brought over an Easter cupcake. We ate it in the backyard.

5:30pm – Started going through some hand-me-down clothes for Meredith that I recently got from a friend. David came home, and we drove over to his brother’s house for dinner. After we ate we all played outside awhile.

7:30pm – We came home, played with bubbles, and I continued moving the laundry through.

8:00pm – I quickly cleaned up Meredith’s room and packed our bags because we were leaving early the next day to spend a day out of town for an antique festival. We went through our normal bedtime routine, then I tried to get M. to pee on her potty chair but she just sat there playing with toilet paper.

9:00pm – I browsed blogs on my phone while Meredith nursed. She was squirmy and distractible instead of falling asleep easily so I turned off my phone.

9:45pm – She’s finally asleep! I was exhausted too and it’s lights out.

April 4, 2013
heart to heart

Nothing like a tragic event to get you thinking about life. I’ve been journaling, praying, talking to family & friends, and yet I still have so many thoughts and emotions swirling around inside me. I feel a real need to share what’s on my heart – to know that I’m not alone? To hear some encouragement? I don’t know. But bear with me because I’m just going to type and I don’t know where I’ll end up.

My uncle died a little over a week ago. It was two days before my birthday, on Superbowl Sunday. I still love birthdays. I know I’m getting older but so far I have enjoyed every phase of my life so I still love an excuse to totally treat myself. Every year I try to celebrate all week long on my birthday week and this year was no different. But this birthday week started out with a text from my mom saying my uncle was in the ER, possibly dying. He had advanced liver disease and had been staying with my parents here in Houston (and then in a nursing home after he fell, suffering a bleed to the brain) to get treatment for the last four months. Although I knew he was in bad shape, on Sunday I thought he was stable and I still held out hope that he would get a transplant and recover. The sudden downturn caught me off guard and I broke down crying for the first time.

We decided to go to church anyway. There was nothing we could do to help, we would just be in the way, and I figured church was a good place to be. As we stood singing praise songs my mom would periodically text with updates, each one more dire than the last. I had my eyes closed and had found my voice. We sang Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other. Our God is healer, awesome redeemer, our God. Right then David hugged me close and showed me the text that said, “He’s gone.” I had been singing the song hoping for a miracle, but immediately its entire meaning changed. I knew our family would need a new kind of healing and strength. You see, my uncle is my dad’s twin and best friend for all their sixty years. Not only were we all very close but the only thing comparable to the loss of a twin is the loss of a spouse. My dad will never be the same. I broke down crying for the second time.

Later that day we picked my aunt up from the airport. Yup – she didn’t even get a chance to see him before he died. She was still at home in South Carolina because she had to work, and this had all happened in a matter of hours. She had been on the phone with my mom all morning and my mom had held the phone up to my uncle’s ear so she could say goodbye even as the medical team performed their heroic measures that just weren’t enough. We took her to the hospital where my parents still were, and we got to have one last moment with my uncle. Lots more crying.

You know, when I started this post I didn’t intend to write all that out. But there it is, and I’m leaving it. This is already getting long but I still have more to say, so I’m just going to keep going. It seems like after that nothing really matters but life keeps happening and with it come daily struggles. Work was hard last week. Obviously I was already sad and grieving but I also had a skills checkoff, was in charge for two days (which is so stressful to me & always makes me late coming home) and then Saturday was my weekend on call and I ended up being there for four hours by myself.

Being a working mom is tough anyway, and lately I’ve been missing Meredith more and more. We see her for only about two hours each day, and then weekends I try to spend with her completely but that’s also when I have to do household upkeep, church & small group, errands, and squeeze in some alone time/creative endeavors. The last is the first thing to go when there’s no time, but I’m not at my best when I don’t have time alone to recharge or work on fun things that make me excited. The two hours that we do have with her in the evening we try to make count with family dinners and walks and focused time together, but with a toddler you can’t always predict how those things will go. My dream is to work part-time, but right now money is very tight. Although we are working hard to pay off some debt and build up savings, it’s going to be a long time before I’ll be able to cut back on my hours.

And then there’s my strong desire to have another baby. It’s something almost physical. I feel the pain of it every time I read another pregnancy announcement. Of course I’m worried that I won’t be able to conceive again, but now I’m also wondering – is it responsible for us to have another child? However would we afford it? I’m not talking about baby “stuff” but the $12,000 we paid to daycare last year (ouch). And then I think about how little time we already spend with Meredith and how I would hate to have that taken away from her. And yet I want to give her a sibling not just for me but for her. My brothers and I were best friends growing up and I’d still feel lost at times without them. After my uncle died it was them I turned to right away just for the shared history and experience.

Most of the time I do a very good job of focusing on the positive aspects of every situation. It may be a defense mechanism, but I think it’s a pretty good one. In my head right now I’m trying to convince myself that these struggles are small, that we are so blessed, that I shouldn’t be complaining at all. But these feelings of grief and sadness and guilt and longing are also real. And maybe they just need to be acknowledged.

February 11, 2013