kapachino

Category: personal

  • In Which I Discuss School and Give You Something Funny To Read

    Last night I had a dream in which I was having a conversation, in Spanish no less, with a hybrid of a puppy and a goat. In the same dream I was also applying to graduate school. I personally think that if I am able to have a Spanish conversation with a puppygoat then I should be able to get into grad school.

    I am not sure exactly what this dream means, but I tend to lean towards the interpretation that it shows how I am losing my mind due to school. If I ever go a few days without posting, it is a safe bet that I am overwhelmed with schoolwork. I was so happy this morning after the test I took because it was actually easy. But a few minutes later I was reminded that I have a large research paper due in two weeks (on the same day as a test in another class), not to mention the 20-page care plans that we are required to do weekly.

    Sigh.

    But let’s not be negative! I know no one wants to read about my academic woes (and by the way, I really like the word “woe!”), so let’s end on a more upbeat subject! I am compelled to share this snippet that I read in The New Yorker today, because it made me laugh out loud!

    “A Conversation at the Grownup Table, As Imagined by the Kids’ Table”

    MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
    DAD: O.K.
    GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
    DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
    UNCLE: I’m having sex right now.
    DAD: We all are.
    MOM: Let’s talk about which kid I like the best.
    DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won’t tell.
    MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
    FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
    DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren’t.
    MOM: I’m angry! I’m angry all of a sudden!
    DAD: I’m angry, too! We’re angry at each other!
    MOM: Now everything is fine.
    DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.
    MOM: There was a big sex.
    FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
    (Everybody laughs.)
    MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I’m crazy!
    GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
    ALL: Yes.
    GRANDFATHER: Don’t tell the kids.

  • Wanted: Tact

    I was studying at school with a couple of classmates, and since we study diseases it was not strange that the topic of death arose. A snippet of the conversation:

    Allie: I don’t know what I’d do if my mom died, I seriously don’t know.
    Ryan: Well, you’d cope and you’d move on, that’s just what happens.
    Allie: Let’s hope so.
    Me (to Ryan): Well, she could kill herself.
    (A minute or so later I find out that Ryan’s mom died 2 years ago. Great.)

    Or, take these conversations with David for example:
    (FYI – this particular David is my boyfriend, NOT my brother, or my uncle, or the kid at church, or my good friend’s brother – all who are also Davids. Does this make life confusing? Yes it does.)

    After he tells me a serious story about how his best friend and long-time girlfriend broke up and then she was killed a few days later in a car accident but he was still asked to be a pallbearer at her funeral because her family didn’t know they had broken up:
    Me (with way too upbeat of a tone of voice): Man, that’s a bad week!

    After we arrived at his house after work one evening having followed each other home in separate cars:
    David: I waved at you in the car.
    Me: I know, I waved back.
    David: I blew you a kiss in the car.
    Me: I know.

    After very graciously rubbing my shoulders because I had a tension headache and I asked him to do so:
    David: So how was that, was it horrible?
    Me: I’ve had worse.
    David: OK, just so you know, in the event that ten years from now we get married, any comment like that on wedding night will not be acceptable.

  • The Extent To Which I Will Go For A Little Cash

    I go to school full-time and I support myself by loans, but I was not able to get enough loans to comfortably cover all my expenses. Thus, I got myself a part-time job but it pays $9/hour and I only work about 6-10 hours a week – not exactly enough to pay the rent. All of the money I have in my account at this time must last me until the end of August, and I have some expenses coming up (i.e. $150 for a dental visit due to my lack of dental insurance and $300+ for a plane ticket to Kansas for my best friend’s wedding) that are causing me concern. So when the following flier showed up in my mailbox at school, I jumped on it:

    ————————————————————————————————————–
    SUBJECTS NEEDED
    TO PARTICIPATE IN A BIRD FLU (INFLUENZA A/H5N1) VACCINE STUDY

    Eligible subjects are invited to participate in a research study being conducted at Baylor College of Medicine to determine reactions and antibody responses to an experimental vaccine against influenza A/H5N1 (‘bird flu’).

    Study requirements:
    -Healthy adults 18-49 years of age
    -No known allergies to flu vaccine
    -Available for study procedures for 7 months

    Study procedures:
    -Eight study visits
    -Two vaccination visits, one month apart
    -Collection of blood samples on 4 occasions
    -Complete a diary of symptoms and signs for 1 week after each vaccination

    Compensation: $400 for completing all procedures
    ————————————————————————————————————–

    Despite the fact that I HATE getting needles stuck in me, especially when they are taking my blood OUT of me, I am going to do this because that $400 looks pretty good. And anyway, it’s for a good cause. And I’m sure there’s only a slight chance of actually contracting the bird flu.

  • Spring Break 2007!

    It’s Friday of the week of my spring break, and even though I really do need to spend most of my time today working on school assignments, this is the first day that I actually don’t have anywhere school or work related to be, and this fact causes me to rejoice. This is how I have celebrated:

    >I slept in until 10 a.m. This means that I got almost 12 hours of sleep! Wow!

    >I have not changed out of my oh-so-comfortable-and-cute shorts and shirt that I slept in.

    >I guess it goes without saying that I have not taken a shower, although I DID wash my face. But what doesn’t go without saying is that I have absolutely no intention of showering today AT ALL.

    >Also, not one speck of makeup will be applied.

    >All of my schoolwork will be done from my bed.

    >Lunch will consist of a Hot Pocket and probably some ice cream.

    That’s about as far as I’ve gotten. Later this evening, around 6 or so, I will get myself together and mosey on out to my parents’ house for our weekly dinner, where we will watch “Monk” and I’ll have some more ice cream. I tell you, if I can’t have a proper spring break, I’m going to make the best of what I get.

  • What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

    Whenever I get to talking about school with anyone, one of the first questions they ask me is, “What kind of nurse do you want to be?” So I just want to go on record here and say that as of right now, the answer is “I don’t know.” But I can tell you that I have had some experiences lately that have me leaning in a way I never thought I would.

    Last week I had a patient who was 84 years old, hospitalized for a severe urinary tract infection that got into her blood. She was very confused and helpless. She could hardly do anything for herself. She was wearing diapers because she could no longer control her urination or bowel movements. She also had two pressure ulcers (bedsores) on her middle and lower back. That day, during her bed bath, the nurse’s assistant called me and my preceptor in to evaluate her sores because while they were cleaning her she had begun to have a soft bowel movement and it had soiled the dressing. When we entered the room there she was, lying on the bed, naked, scared, confused, and embarrassed. She wasn’t much of a talker, but she kept looking at her daughter (who was there with her) and at us with a pleading look in her eyes, saying things like, “What am I gonna do? Are they going to kill me?” My heart broke for her, and I can tell you that it was one of the most satisfying experiences I have had yet just to clean her up and get her settled comfortably in her bed.

    That day my preceptor, Kay, told me a similar story. She had an elderly patient who had had an aneurysm in her brain which had been operated on. Unfortunately, she had progressed to the point where she was no longer responding to anyone around her – not quite in a coma, but almost. During the operation they had shaved half of her head and a portion on the other side, so that she had a tuft of long hair coming out that was matted and crusted. Evidently no one had washed it for awhile, because the short hair had already grown out some. Kay decided that she was going to wash it and brush it. Then while she was doing this, she got the idea to cut it. She cut it into that kind of cute and spiky look that you see some grandmas wearing. During the whole process she sang Christian songs to her, and she noticed that when she sang, her patient’s eyes focused directly on her, a sign of awareness that hadn’t been shown since the operation.

    Experiences and stories like this are what is making me think that I may want to be a geriatrics or hospice nurse. We all grow old, and we all die, and it usually isn’t pretty. It happens all the time, but it’s a new experience for every person when they go through it. This is a time of great need for those people, and they are frequently overlooked.

    Nursing school is hard, and it has really been stressing me out lately. This is my spring break, but I have more schoolwork to do than I can handle, almost. But I am not doubting my chosen profession for a minute. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that you’ve found what you want to do with your life, and you are doing it.