This is the sign this week on the billboard of the church that I live near. Yes, it’s very cheesy but it actually encouraged me today. Because, my friends, the going is not easy for me at this moment. I am enormously stressed with many things.
First of all, money. I am broke, not to mention in debt. David has already proven his love for me many times over, but in the last month he has compounded that by giving generously to me in my time of need. We say that it’s “our money” now, because we’re trying to change our way of thinking before we get married, but until we share the same checking account it’s going to take some swallowing of my pride to accept so much.
So I have cut my spending down to almost nothing lately. I take the bus to the medical center and catch rides whenever possible. I don’t eat out. Heck, I don’t even buy groceries. I’m going to eat our cupboards bare. (Although yesterday I splurged and bought cereal, because I just couldn’t live without it anymore.) Also, I am working as much as I possibly can. This is tough because…
…I am also enormously stressed about school. We have about three weeks left, and they are not taking it easy on us. Not that I’d expect them to, but I really wish I could just focus all my attention on my board exam. However, I have a paper, a project, an exit exam, and finals to conquer. And lately I have not been doing as well as I need to be on my practice exams. It’s very hard to find time to do all this when I need to be working in all my spare time.
I am worn down. Weary of worrying about where I’ll find the money to pay my bills, of skimping in every area possible to save money, of always having work to do for school, of not having a day to just relax without feeling guilty.
I know this is the time when I need to give everything to God. And I do, every day. Some days I start out great and then end up stressed again by the end of the day. Some days (like today) start out horribly but somehow end up OK.
But I’m going uphill, headed for something good. Thanks for sticking with me.
From Erica:
I’m thinking about you! You’ll survive all this, and be better for it at the end! I’ll keep praying for you!
From Katy:
I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time, lady. And I totally know what you mean about swallowing your pride. My tax bill is going to be around $500, which I did NOT plan for. Working a part-time job bumped me into a higher income bracket, meaning I owe more than I had withheld. Drat! I usually break even at tax time, which is usually my goal. This time, I was not so lucky. Brandon has already said he will help me with my tax bill, and that’s hard for me to accept. I’m so used to doing everything on my own.
Be thankful you have a job lined up for after graduation! I know you will be great at it, and just think of all the frugal living habits you’re learning right now! Even once you start working your big kid job, you’ll have learned so much about being frugal that you won’t have to learn it again.
From Neal B. Finkelstein:
Do you know the author of this quote: “If the going gets easy, you may be going downhill?” Please let me know. I’ve tried googling it and came up with nothing.
Neal
From Julienne:
My pastor/volleyball coach (what a combination!) said something similar – you only coast when you’re going downhill and I repeat it to myself all the time!