getting ready for bed she puts on her “nursing tank” and grabs two baby dolls…
Meredith: I need two babies because I have two nursers!
proceeds to pull down one side of her tank top and stuff a baby in her armpit.

after hitting her head on a chair…
Meredith: dangit!
Me: what was that?
Meredith: the chair say dangit.

during a discussion about how she is going to go to a different school when she is old enough for kindergarten…
Meredith: and Imma get BIG boobs and get milk in them and I’m gonna feed my baby!
Me: sure!
Meredith: (seriously) I’m GONNA get milk in them.

while doing a floor puzzle and Liam keeps interfering…
Meredith: he keeps messing it up!!!
Me: I told you it’s not going to be easy to do with him around.
Meredith: but you can put him in his cage!
Me: that’s not nice!
Meredith: well I’m not nice.

Me: alright let’s sit down for dinner.
Meredith: I don’t wanna eat dinner tonight!
Me: we have to eat dinner every night.
Meredith: (sigh) but it’s HARD for me.

while brushing my hair and simultaneously playing with her baby doll…
Meredith: I’m right here by my baby because she’s crying.
Me: oh, you’re such a good little mommy.
Meredith: I’m not a mommy, I’m a princess.

while doing a puzzle and a piece fell on the floor…
Meredith: pick it up!
Me: can you pick it up please?
Meredith: but I can’t!!
Me: yes you can.
Meredith: but I just want you to pick it up because I love you.

while reading a book about Michaelangelo (who she calls microphone and insists I do the same) and studying a picture of the Pietà…
Meredith: why is Jesus broken?
Me: because he died. Some bad men killed him.
Meredith: but he will get fixed?
Me: yes he came back to life because he is God!

while telling her a story about her older cousin…
Me: one time when Lucas was a little baby-
Meredith: but where was I?
Me: you weren’t born yet.
Meredith: I was in heaven?
Me: well God knew you would be born soon but you were only in his mind and heart, you weren’t alive yet.
Meredith: I was in Jesus’s tummy?
Me: …

I want to remember…

…her continued mispronunciations. She says “lose” for “use” and “gotfor” for “forgot” and “holding don” for “holding on” and “tector” for “protect” and “Chick-er-a” for “Chick-fil-a” (although that one is ending; I’ve heard her say it the right way a few times and I correct her.)

…the way her eyebrows go up and she looks so earnest when she is singing; how her eyes turn to slits when she is really smiling; how her face seems to get flat when she is crying.

…how she still talks about our old dogs Eddie and Cleo all the time. How the place on the carpet we covered with a small rug because Eddie ripped it up is “Eddie’s spot” and she is afraid of it. How she used to ask to be carried over it but now she is brave and will run across it.

…how she wakes up in the middle of almost every night and needs to locate whatever toy or item she took to bed with her, usually her monkey.

…that she has rituals of asking me the same questions over and over, expecting the same answer like: “Why does Liam have a diaper?” “Because he’s a baby.”

…that she asks David to “read” her a story every night, but she really wants him to tell her a story about our lives before her. I want to remember how she asked to hear the story about our honeymoon every night for weeks, and how every time when we tell these stories she asks where she was and why she wasn’t there.

…that she prefers to eat all her food cold, no matter what it is. (Ew.)

…our many trips to the little park down the street and that she is always delighted if another kid is there. I want to remember how she wants to swing on every swing and that she loves it when I swing with her.

…that she is confused by her own strong emotions and needs help learning how to handle them; that I need to retrain myself to feel compassion instead of anger in the midst of her meltdowns.

…that she is desperate for time alone with me (and that’s why she can be so difficult sometimes). I want to remember the way that she copies everything I do.

Love this little girl. She is the great challenge and joy of my life.