Category: motherhood

  • mother-daughter friendship bracelets

    mother daughter friendship bracelets

    I got it into my head that I wanted to make matching friendship bracelets for Meredith and myself. I used to whip these up constantly when I was young but haven’t done it in years, so I actually had to pull up a tutorial to relearn it. It was easy and I finished in a few days.

    Meredith has gotten so many compliments on her bracelet and I just love having that physical reminder of her on my wrist throughout the day. I don’t know how long they will last since we never take them off and they get wet pretty frequently, but we will probably wear them ragged.

  • meredith at 18 months

    Oh, 18 months. Full-blown toddlerhood. You are killing me. Sometimes with cuteness, but also with stress.

    crying

    Let’s just get the bad stuff out of the way. All of a sudden we have extended tantrums. I’m talking nonstop screaming from the time she gets home – won’t play, throws food in our faces, screams in the car, screams in the bath, violently throwing her body around – until the time she goes to sleep.

    I know that this is normal and will pass, but it doesn’t make it any less stressful. I think the most frustrating part is that she is perfectly good and happy in the morning and all day at daycare, and on weekends too. So it’s not that anything is wrong, or hurting, and it’s nothing we can “fix.”

    My best guess as to the reason is that the transition between being so busy and stimulated at daycare to calmness and resting at home is difficult when she is also at a point in her life when she is developing so much. Right now how we’re dealing with it, other than whining on Twitter, is to start out by giving her 100% of our attention (this usually helps somewhat, until it doesn’t) and beyond that just keep her from hurting herself and put her to bed early.

    pout

    Okay, so some nights are terrible. But the rest of the time she is pretty much a total gem. She’s learning to speak right now and isn’t that great at it yet – everything sounds the same to me – except I can understand bye-bye, what’s this, hi, no, yeah, uh-oh, mama, dada, baby, yay. She has a lisp.

    She understands most of what we say and can follow directions. For example, she feeds the dogs if we give her their bowls to set out (but then she wants to play with their food). She helps me with the laundry. She’ll go get something I ask for.

    She can point to her belly button, nose, mouth, eyes, head, and toes.

    She is very into dancing. Her signature move is to bounce and twirl her arms like the “traveling” sign in basketball. She doesn’t even need music, but if she hears some it’s like a reflex. Girlfriend can’t help herself.

    excited

    She weighs 25 pounds, 14 ounces and is 32.75 inches tall (around 75th percentile for both). She wears 24-month or 2T clothes and size 4.5 shoes.

    She has five teeth and is working on two upper molars.

    We are growing her hair out and it’s in a middle stage. It is thick and top-heavy and kind of crazy. She still won’t keep any bows or clips in. She gets the best bedhead ever.

    bedhead

    She puts our phones to her ear and starts to babble. She’ll do the same thing with anything that looks like a phone.

    She has a doll and knows how to give it a bottle.

    She’s a busy little bee. Her favorite game is to take things out and put things in – it doesn’t really matter what the thing is (blocks, hair bows, purse contents, etc). Even better if she gets to hand them to someone and take them back. She is starting to copy our actions. The other day I was blowing my nose and she pulled off the tiniest corner of tissue, held it to her nose, and blew.

    kitchen

    She has finally gotten interested in books and her favorite is a board book of nursery rhymes. She says bye bye whenever she closes one.

    Jasper is her favorite stuffed animal, a jaguar that David got her on a random shopping trip. She laughs when we ask where he is and then she will go find him. She frequently asks for him and carries him around.

    nap with jasper

    Some of her favorite foods are eggs, yogurt dippers, and bananas. She’s not into vegetables and loves anything sweet – oy. She still nurses in the morning and falls asleep nursing almost every night. She is not the slightest bit interested in weaning. When she had roseola for a week over the holidays she nursed a lot more and my milk supply adjusted within a couple of days which I think is so cool.

    She likes giving fish kisses and is more affectionate than ever. She wants to be held a lot. Her spontaneous hugs melt me.

    sleep

    So, 18 months. Sometimes I want to put her up for adoption, but it’s not all bad. In fact, it’s still pretty great. :)

     

  • pregnancy & diabetes

    November is diabetes awareness month, and as a nurse health issues are close to my heart. Allison is an online friend of mine who has type 1 diabetes, and because of my own struggles with infertility I am also sensitive to any difficulty when it comes to conception and pregnancy. I encourage you to read her post today about how having diabetes affects everything related to pregnancy. It’s super interesting and I guarantee you’ll learn something!

    ***

    When Kathleen asked me to write about diabetes and pregnancy, because of Kathleen’s own troubles with pregnancy, I thought it was a brilliant idea! I’ve had type 1 diabetes for 19 years, so I know that often times people have flashbacks to the 1980s movie Steel Magnolias, with Julia Roberts and Sally Fields, in which the main character, a diabetic, dies. Not exactly what you want as a representation!

    Here are the facts: women with type 1 and type 2 diabetes can have babies. What’s type 1 and type 2 diabetes? Essentially, type 1 diabetes is an autoimmune disease (like lupus or multiple sclerosis) where the immune system attacks your body and prevents you from making insulin, which is what allows your body to use food as energy. In type 2 diabetes, your body still makes insulin, but it doesn’t use it properly. This is why type 2 diabetics can take oral medications to help with insulin resistance, but type 1 diabetics always have to take insulin injections or wear a pump.

    Now, I’ve never had a baby, so what I know about diabetes and pregnancy are from other women’s experiences. But I’m a newlywed, and so that means baby-making is top of mind for us.

    For most women, pregnancy is complicated after you start trying to have a baby, whether from infertility, miscarriages, or health concerns for the baby. For women with diabetes, pregnancy is complicated before you start trying.

    Deciding To Have Kids

    Whenever you have a chronic disease, you have to make the intensely personal decision of whether or not to have children. Diabetes is partially genetic, so for many people, that’s a huge factor. A child with a mom with diabetes has a 4% chance of getting it, and it’s 7% if the father has diabetes. However, both of my parents don’t have diabetes, and neither does my brother, so I have a hard time using that as a reason not to have a child.

    There really is no rhyme or reason for why someone gets diabetes, and I don’t want my life to be ruled by fear. Besides, I don’t consider diabetes to be devastating or debilitating like some diseases, and so my husband and I have decided that we will have kids. My life is pretty awesome, and if my kid ends up having diabetes (::knock on wood::), I’ll raise him or her to have an awesome life too!

    Before Baby-Making

    When you have diabetes, there isn’t much that you can’t do (except hold a commercial pilot’s license, join the Peace Corp and serve in the military). Pregnancy is definitely in the cards! But like most things that people with diabetes do, it takes a lot of preparation and planning. Pregnancy is no different.

    I think the piece of advice that sums up diabetes and conception the best is this: “No accidental pregnancies!”

    A woman with diabetes should not accidentally get pregnanct. In fact, if I’m concerned that I haven’t taken my birth control properly, I immediately tell my husband that it’s condoms or no sex! Of course, sometimes women do accidentally get pregnanct, and usually things turn out fine, but it’s a huge risk to the baby. Why?

    Life with diabetes means my blood sugars are always fluctuating. Although modern medicine and technology allows me to live a fairly normal life, things aren’t perfect. Blood sugar meters aren’t 100% accurate, and the insulin works much slower than insulin made by the body. Not all carbohydrates are created equal, so some can raise my blood sugar faster than others. We also have to deal with constantly changing hormones and activity levels, which will affect our blood sugars. There are a lot of variables, and we only have “control” over a couple of them.

    But a baby won’t care if I have diabetes. Embryos and fetuses are incredibly sensitive to blood sugar. Miscarriages and birth defects are hallmarks when a woman gets pregnant before her body is in “baby range.”

    How do you get “baby range”? It usually means checking blood sugar levels twice as often, which can be up to 20 times a day! I’m not quite there yet — but I am so not looking forward to it! Luckily there is a device called a continuous glucose monitor that can help detect trends between tests, but it’s still a lot of monitoring and tracking. Eating small meals to prevent big blood sugar spikes is also important. Moms-to-be need to control their blood sugars so tightly that it can often take up to a year before she’s in “baby range.”

    Sometimes this means a woman will start thinking about pregnancy before she has even found the guy!

    During Pregnancy

    Eventually I’ll be in “baby range,” but that doesn’t mean the work is over! A pregnant woman with diabetes needs to keep up the baby range throughout the entire pregnancy — and the growing baby does not make it easy! Each week, the baby puts more and more demands on the mom. The hormones involved in pregnancy cause insulin resistance. By the end of pregnancy a woman can be taking up to three times as much insulin per day!

    Because of insulin resistance, blood sugars can be hard to manage. Remember “baby range”? Staying on top of all the changes causes a lot of stress and grief. How the mom manages her blood sugars affects the baby’s health and growth. Having some fluctuations in blood sugars shouldn’t freak a mom out, but when it’s your baby, concerns and worries just multiply! I’m not even pregnant and I’m already worried! In fact, managing diabetes while pregnant can be so emotionally draining that many women say the stress and grief is the worst part of pregnancy. Plus, medical professionals are not exactly sympathetic to the struggles of this disease, so there are lots of guilt-trips laid on by doctors. So not cool.

    Gestational diabetes is familiar to many moms-to-be. Many of you moms probably did the glucose tolerance test to see if you had gestational diabetes. If you have gestational diabetes, you’re asked to modify your diet, monitor your blood sugar, and sometimes even taken medication. A pre-existing diabetes pregnancy is very similar to this. So imagine taking gestational diabetes and then multiplying the difficulty by ten! And obviously, gestational diabetes goes away when you have the baby, and pre-existing diabetes does not!

    Birth

    You may have heard that a baby of a diabetic woman will be born big. Many times, the size of the baby is a concern. Many diabetic moms have one of two options: scheduled C-section or scheduled induction (which also sometimes results in an emergency C-section). But not always! Some moms are also able to deliver naturally if the baby is not too big. Most doctors don’t like a diabetic mom to go past 39 weeks, and full term is 37 weeks. So it really depends on when the baby decides to show up!

    I’ve always grown up to believe that as a diabetic mother, my birth plan will really be at the mercy of the baby. I can’t really plan anything. Depending on the size of the baby, we might have to induce as soon as the baby is full-term. But maybe not! It’s hard to predict, and many diabetic moms simply have to play it by ear. As a high-risk pregnancy, I don’t get the pleasure of designing a home birth or a birth at a birthing center with a midwife.

    How You Can Help

    Now that you know a little more about how a diabetic pregnancy works, you might be wondering how you can help. Here are a few suggestions:

    >First of all, trust the mom-to-be! She’s the diabetic, so she knows what she needs to do. Instead of asking, “Can you eat that?” or “Should you do that?” just ask, “Is there anything you need?” Plain and simple.

    >Keep in mind that she’s stressed out. If she vents about food or her blood sugars, now you know how hard it is. Be sympathetic and a good listener.

    >Help out with doctor’s appointments. She probably has a lot going on! If you have a co-worker with diabetes or a friend with diabetes, offer to pick up some slack, especially toward the end of pregnancy. She’ll appreciate it!

    ***

    So what do you think? Even as a nurse I learned a lot from Allison’s personal knowledge – for example, I had no idea that diabetics had to work so hard for so long to prepare for pregnancy, and that if their blood sugars aren’t strictly controlled they could experience miscarriage and birth defects. Wow. I was also kind of floored by Allison’s guest post on Stephany’s blog chronicling a day in her life. What did you learn?

  • more thoughts on second babies

    Meredith as a wee newborn omg.

    I probably started thinking about my second baby while I was still pregnant with Meredith. It’s just the nature of infertility if you want to have more than one, which we do. After the birth my doctor told me to wait 18 months before getting pregnant again if I wanted to give myself the best chance possible to avoid another C-section. At the time I thought it would be a long time to wait and I secretly hoped I’d just turn up pregnant within the year (oops!), but now here we are at almost 16 months out, it’s gone by super fast, and I’m nowhere near pregnant.

    I saw my OB again recently for my annual exam and we talked about trying to conceive. The last time I wrote about getting pregnant again I was conflicted, and to an extent I still am, but I am sensing a change within myself. I think I will be ready soon, but I know that doesn’t mean my body will cooperate. First of all there’s my underlying PCOS, and on top of that there’s the fact that I am still breastfeeding Meredith. It’s only two, maybe three (on the weekends), times a day, but according to my doctor that is enough to make it pretty much impossible to track my cycles. She said if I really want to give myself the best chance at pregnancy (and this is what a fertility specialist would tell me as well), I need to wean.

    I’m just not ready to do that though. Throughout this whole conception/ pregnancy/ birth/ baby thing, breastfeeding is the one aspect of my body that has worked perfectly. I know that I can bond with Meredith in other ways, but it won’t be the same. So I discussed with my doctor what she would recommend once I wean, but in the meantime we are just going to do what we can:

    >Clean up my diet. When I got pregnant before I was pretty much eating gluten free, and I believe that it helped. There is a link between PCOS and insulin resistance that a low glycemic index diet can help overcome. I really need to gear up mentally to eat this way though, because it is hard. Meredith will be 18 months in January and I hope by that time I’ll be ready to make the change.

    >Visit my nutritionist and take her supplements. I’ve been seeing her since before I got pregnant with Meredith and she has helped me get fertile and have a healthy pregnancy. I think she can help me again.

    >Try to track anyway. It might not work, but I figure I can give the daily temperatures a shot, and get some cheap ovulation predictor kits.

    I definitely feel less stressed this time around, and less of an urgency. I still really worry that it won’t happen for us again though, especially when I hear pregnancy announcements of second babies. I always dreamed of a full house, but I never imagined how much work it would take to get there.

  • meredith at 15 Months

    I am just loving the beginning of toddlerhood. Of course there is the random screaming in public places and the tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, but much more of it is adorable actions and silliness and fascinating new developments all the time.

    This is what I want to remember about Meredith at 15 months old:

    >She weighs 24 1/2 pounds (75th percentile) and is 30.25 inches long (50th percentile). Basically she is still a little chub.

    >She is obsessed with her belly button. She pulls up her shirt constantly to point it out, and if you ask her where it is she will show you. She also knows where to find other people’s belly buttons.

    >How she likes to hold our hands to walk, but only for a little bit. She wanders, but always makes sure we’re close by.

    >The way she tips her head back over and over for us to tickle her neck when she’s feeling silly.

    >Her “words” are: baby, no, mama, dada, hold it, & what’s this (the last two might be a stretch). She understands so much more, though.

    >She’s full time in the toddler room at daycare now, and is completely off bottles. I quit pumping at work a few weeks ago, so during the day she just has water and regular milk. We’re still going strong nursing at home, though.

    >The way she loves to feed us her food, especially out of her own mouth.

    >One of the best things ever is that she totally dances. At first it was just to music every once in awhile but now all you need to do is ask her to dance and she starts bouncing, shaking her little booty, and waving her hands in the air.

    http://youtu.be/DAv058NAjQo

    >She knows how to take a disposable diaper off, so if we’re ever using those (like we did on vacation) we have to put pants on her right away.

    >How she still loves playing peekaboo or “where’s Meredith” and thinks we can’t see her if she just covers one eye. She’s an expert climber and faller, and constantly has some sort of bump, bruise, or scratch on her. Other favorite things are her little car, riding in the shopping cart, and turning pages of books.

    >The way she prefers to eat a banana like an adult and not cut up.

    >That when she wants to nurse she gets very serious looking and fake coughs over and over. And grabs at my shirt.

    >Seeing her “kiss” the dogs by delicately touching them with her forehead, and the happiness I feel when she “kisses” me and David too.

    >How she reaches for me now, and when she’s not feeling well all she wants is for me to carry her. We are starting to see more and more how she recognizes us and mommy and daddy, and it’s the best feeling in the world.

    In reality, as much as I try to describe her at this age there are no words or even pictures to capture her soft squishy body, her delicious smell, how it feels to see her smile and hear her laugh, what it’s like to watch her discover or learn something for the first time, and her abundance of life. I wish I could bottle it up and save it forever.