Category: conversations

  • Tennis Love

    I’ve been house/dog-sitting again since last Friday, so I haven’t seen Carmen, my roommate, since before then. We finally made plans to hang out last night, but I wasn’t sure what we were going to do until I texted her around 4:30 p.m. to ask. She responded, “I have two free tickets to the tennis match, want to go?” The tennis match she spoke of was part of the men’s clay court championship, which is held at a club which is conveniently located right behind our apartments. We didn’t know who was playing, but it sounded like fun.

    We strolled on over, slightly late, enjoying the weather. If we had driven there, we would have had to pay ten bucks and probably would have had to walk farther than we live. We found our seats near the top of the stadium (it was still a great view), and took a look at the program. At the moment, Tommy Haas of Germany was playing Nicolas Devilder of France. Carmen spotted one of her high school students who informed us that Tommy Haas is ranked in the top ten in the world, but Devilder is a no-name. Haas was dominating. But Devilder was French, and so Carmen liked him right away.

    “I could date a tennis player,” she said.

    “Would you date Devilder?” I asked.

    “Well, he looks kind of short.”

    “I don’t think he’s short, I think he’s average height.”

    “I don’t know. He is French, I like that.”

    “But Carmen, you don’t want to date a loser, you want to date a winner.”

    “That’s true.”

    After the singles match finished (which Haas won), the doubles teams came out. Mike and Bob Bryan of the USA were playing James Auckland of Great Britain and Stephen Huss of Australia. Apparently the Bryan twins are the #1 doubles team in the world right now, with quite a few tournament victories under their belts.

    “Ooh, Carmen, you could date a Bryan brother.”

    “Yeah!”

    “Which one would you go for? I suggest Mike.”

    “Yeah, I like Mike.”

    “Which one is he?”

    “He’s the one serving.”

    “How can you tell?”

    “Because someone just yelled ‘Let’s go Mike!’”

    “No, they yelled, ‘Let’s go Mike, let’s go Bob!’”

    “And then someone ELSE yelled, ‘Let’s go Mike.’”

    “I didn’t hear that. Anyway, I’m not sure about the name ‘Bob.’”

    “’Bobby’ is cute, though.”

    “Yeah, ‘Bobby’ is cute.”

    “And besides, it’s probably short for ‘Robert’ and then I’d call him ‘Rob’ or ‘Robby’ or ‘Robby Bobby Coconuts.’”

    “Be careful, Mike is getting jealous.”

    The Bryan twins won the match easily, did a chest bump to celebrate, and then they charmed Carmen a little more by giving short little speeches about the match and how they love playing in Houston. And then they played a short game against two of the ball kids, winners of a contest, who were probably about 10 years old. The brothers had to hold hands as a handicap, just like in an elementary school P.E. class. I have to admit, it was quite endearing.

    We rushed with many of the other fans to catch the brothers on their way out. We unabashedly (well, maybe a little abashedly) held our ticket stubs out for them to sign. I couldn’t get to Mike, but I sure did get Robby Bobby Coconuts’ autograph.

  • Lofty Aspirations

    My family is very sports-oriented. One of the manifestations of this is that each year we are involved in fantasy teams and pools and such. For as long as I can remember my dad and my uncle have picked the NFL games, and when my brothers were old enough they joined in. Being the only girl, I wanted to be involved too. So when fantasy leagues started becoming popular, our family decided to create a private fantasy baseball league for ourselves and I jumped in. The way it worked was that whoever won the NCAA tournament that year got first draft pick in fantasy baseball. Well, we did that for a couple of years and then I WON. After that, fantasy baseball was dropped. My brother Barry cried that the draft was unfair that year, but I know he’s just having a hard time accepting the fact that I am, indeed, a fantasy baseball master.

    The way it stands today is that our family picks the college football bowl games with each other, and also the NCAA basketball tournament, which is of course going on right now. This year, my uncle won the bowl games, but I CAME IN SECOND, beating out my entire immediate family. Currently, I am in last place in our NCAA pool, but I still have a lot of points remaining and I am the only one who picked the team that I picked to win the entire thing – so I still have a chance. And things are getting serious now! There is a trophy:

    stagg-sports-selection-star
    This trophy is soon to be mailed to my uncle for winning the college bowl pick ’em, and then it will be transferred to the winner of the NCAA tournament after July 4. I have to say…I want it bad.

    My dad is excited about it, too. After he showed it to me last night, he said, “Just think, Kat. When you and your brothers get married your spouses can participate too!” And then, abruptly, “But we may have to drop you. You won’t have our family name anymore.”

    “Dad! That’s not fair!”

    “I don’t know, Kat, the trophy has our name on it, and that won’t be your name anymore.”

    “But I will always be part of the family!”

    “We’ll have to see what the jury decides.”

    I think my dad is just simultaneously dreading and elated about the possibility of me getting married at anytime in the next twenty years. It’s cute and all, but I don’t appreciate being threatened with disownment. (I think I just made up that word.) For now, I’ll just try to prove myself while I am still definitively a part of this family.

  • Wanted: Tact

    I was studying at school with a couple of classmates, and since we study diseases it was not strange that the topic of death arose. A snippet of the conversation:

    Allie: I don’t know what I’d do if my mom died, I seriously don’t know.
    Ryan: Well, you’d cope and you’d move on, that’s just what happens.
    Allie: Let’s hope so.
    Me (to Ryan): Well, she could kill herself.
    (A minute or so later I find out that Ryan’s mom died 2 years ago. Great.)

    Or, take these conversations with David for example:
    (FYI – this particular David is my boyfriend, NOT my brother, or my uncle, or the kid at church, or my good friend’s brother – all who are also Davids. Does this make life confusing? Yes it does.)

    After he tells me a serious story about how his best friend and long-time girlfriend broke up and then she was killed a few days later in a car accident but he was still asked to be a pallbearer at her funeral because her family didn’t know they had broken up:
    Me (with way too upbeat of a tone of voice): Man, that’s a bad week!

    After we arrived at his house after work one evening having followed each other home in separate cars:
    David: I waved at you in the car.
    Me: I know, I waved back.
    David: I blew you a kiss in the car.
    Me: I know.

    After very graciously rubbing my shoulders because I had a tension headache and I asked him to do so:
    David: So how was that, was it horrible?
    Me: I’ve had worse.
    David: OK, just so you know, in the event that ten years from now we get married, any comment like that on wedding night will not be acceptable.

  • Not Your Typical Academy Awards Post

    My fellow Americans,

    I would like to take this opportunity to announce some of my thoughts on the Academy Awards. These thoughts are not necessarily related specifically to the awards except for the fact that they are thoughts that I had while watching said awards. Please indulge me.

    1. Although I was vehemently opposed to Dreamgirls or any of its participating members winning anything simply because I thought that the movie was painfully overrated (and by that I mean that the movie was PAINFUL and OVERRATED), I must say that Jennifer Hudson was pretty adorable last night, and now I can’t help but like her.

    2. I noticed something quite disconcerting.

    Exhibit A: Greg Kinnear, actor in Little Miss Sunshine:

     

    Exhibit B: Ted Bundy, serial killer from the 1970’s:

     

    The resemblance is a little too close for comfort.

    3. My roommate Carmen really entertains me. She has been out of town for a couple of days, but last night we reunited and sat down to watch the last couple of hours of the Oscars together. The following are some of the things that she said that made me laugh, shake my head in disbelief, and/or wish to prolong the day that she moves to Austin for as long as possible.

    –We were watching Jerry Seinfeld do his presentation of best documentary, and he made a joke about how in movie theaters they run advertisements asking you to pick up after yourself. What he said was something like, “Why don’t I just put on an orange jumpsuit and get out my wooden stick with a needle on the end?” Carmen laughs out loud, but with her next breath she abruptly states, “I don’t like that joke, though.”

    –At some random point during the evening, as I am staring intently at the TV screen, Carmen offhandedly says, “I’ve never stuck gum up my nose before.” I disinterestedly glance over at her and there she is with a big wad of it sticking out of her right nostril. As she later stated, if there was a montage made of our relationship, that moment would be in it.

    –During the segment near the end of the Oscars where they run the tribute to those who have died in the past year, Carmen gives me this speech: “So as I was driving home today I was thinking about my funeral. I was thinking about how David D. [a man from our church who recently died] wanted everyone to eat a BBQ meal after his funeral, and I thought it would be cool to do something like that. So I thought that everyone should go play laser tag, and then I realized that it would make sense because everyone would already be wearing black.”

    4. I am glad that The Departed won Best Picture simply for the fact that it is the only one of the nominees that I have seen. This makes my quest to view all of the movies that have won Best Picture easier.

    To recap: Dreamgirls was bad, but Jennifer Hudson is OK; Greg Kinnear scares me; my roommate is weird but I love her; and I am lazy.