kapachino

Category: personal

  • 2010, A Year To Remember

    It’s the last day of the year, and I’m ready for a fresh start. But first, I went back and read all my posts from this year, and the following are some high points (and low ones) that stuck out to me. 2010 was quite a year.

    January: Started out on an excellent note, on vacation. My husband turned 30, and we actually got a lot done working on our house.

    February: So much happened this month! I turned 28 and celebrated a wonderful birthday week. We got a new dog, Oliver, a new car (my beloved Prius), and my blog got a new design courtesy of my brother. I went to see a reproductive endocrinologist for the first time, found out that I was pregnant, and enjoyed a blissful two weeks with that knowledge before suffering a miscarriage.

    March: I was depressed but in denial about it. I chopped off my hair, threw myself into work, and promptly got sick with the worst stomach bug of my life, spending a day in the ER. This is also the month when I started my relationship with Brand About Town as a Nintendo Enthusiast, which continues today.

    April: I started to feel a bit better. I went to an antique festival with my parents, and David and I went on a fantastic, although quick trip to New York City where we saw three Broadway shows and did lots of shopping and touristy things. I also had my wisdom teeth removed (ouch) and went to a conference for work the very next day (not smart).

    May: This was a fairly normal, laid-back month. Among other boring things, we painted the front two rooms of our house a nice neutral (previously bright red) and I started actively seeking natural health, including acupuncture.

    June: We finally got Oliver fixed, we went camping with our siblings and it was really fun but really hot, and I watched some World Cup games. Basically, May and June were the calm before the storm.

    July: The church I attended since high school closed down and began the process of planting a new church. We refinanced our house, and David had his right hip replaced.

    August: I spent a LOT of time taking care of David. I also went on my first medicated fertility cycle, which didn’t work. I started eating vegetarian and saw a nutritionist. I think this was the very beginning of my depression, and I started feeling physically bad a lot of the time.

    September: David had his left hip replaced just six weeks after his first surgery, and again I spent a ton of time taking care of him. We struggled a lot financially due to him being off work with no pay, and we started Financial Peace University. It became clear to me that I really was depressed.

    October: We celebrated our second anniversary by doing nothing in particular. I put a lot of effort into feeling better mentally and physically. My diet changed radically and I saw a therapist. I cut back on a ton of responsibilities. We also had our IUI at the end of the month.

    November: I really, truly, began to feel like myself again. I started my incredible new job, found out I’m pregnant, and passed my oncology certification exam. Woohoo!

    December: I started to feel comfortable in my new position at work, I was nauseous a lot, and we spent a lot of time with family. I tried (unsuccessfully) to participate in reverb10, and I tried (unsuccessfully) to make my goal of reading 50 books this year. For the record, I read 44, which I think is pretty good considering all I had going on.

    So that was my year. As far as the rest of my 2010 resolutions, I wanted to compete in a triathlon but that didn’t happen because of time constraints and health/fertility issues. I did get my blog redesigned, I did get back to healthy eating (and am currently at a weight that I’m proud of), and I did focus more on my husband.

    Is it any wonder that I’m looking forward to 2011? We’re going out with a bang, and I’m ready for what’s next.

  • Post-Christmas Happy

    [via]

    When I woke up Sunday morning I kind of expected to be at least a little bit depressed. I mean, there’s this huge buildup to Christmas and then all of a sudden it’s over and a whole year away. That’s sad when it’s your favorite holiday and you don’t have any kind of vacation to look forward to.

    But I wasn’t sad. I woke up in a great mood on Sunday! So then I expected to be depressed when I woke up on Monday and was faced with going back to work. But I wasn’t! Why am I not experiencing the post-holiday blues?

    1. I really like my job. There is nothing that I dread about it except simply having to wake up early, and since I go to sleep between 7-8 p.m. every night now, I have no trouble with that.

    2. It’s a four-day work week once again, and I get to look forward to a quick trip to Irving, TX to visit a friend for New Year’s Eve.

    3. I got a lot of great gifts from my family this year. My husband bought me so many new clothes and a fantastic over-the-shoulder bag from Fossil, my parents and brothers got me the Sony Reader Daily Edition, and my in-laws gave me a generous gift card to Lowe’s which will go toward fixing up our house. I also got a bit of money which I plan to spend on some new boots this week. Gifts make me happy because I hardly ever spend money on myself.

    4. I love the beginning of the year and the fresh start it implies. That idea really works for me. I’m excited to get it started, and soon I’ll let you know my plans & goals for the upcoming year.

    What about you? Are you battling post-holiday sadness or are you looking forward to the new year?

  • Holiday Tradition Help

    [via]

    With Christmas just a week away I’ve been finishing my shopping and sending out my cards. But I’ve been spending so much time and focus on work that it all feels a bit rushed. I was thinking the other day that it’s time for David and I to come up with some traditions for our own little family; some things that will be set in place ahead of time to help us remember and enjoy the holidays.

    My family growing up wasn’t completely steeped in tradition, but we had some, most of which we still adhere to today. They are:

    • Having Christmas lists prepared and distributed by Thanksgiving
    • Going shopping with my dad
    • Attending Christmas Eve church service
    • Starting out Christmas day eating pigs in a blanket for breakfast
    • Opening stocking gifts first
    • Getting an ornament from Mom every year
    • Someone volunteering to play “Santa” and pass out gifts
    • Having a big dinner in late afternoon
    • Seeing a movie Christmas evening

    Since we still have Christmas with both of our families, I want to come up with some traditions of our own that don’t interrupt the flow of the day. They could involve how we decorate, gifts we give each other, holiday activities we spend time on, or anything else related.

    So I’m wondering, what are some of your family traditions? Is there something that you’ve always wanted to try or make a part of your holiday season? Any ideas for our little family?

  • Reverb10: Wisdom

    What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

    The wisest decision I made was kind of a group of decisions, but it all added up to me making changes and stepping back. As I’ve been over multiple times here, it was a rough year. A few months ago I became overwhelmed with responsibilities and stress, and as a result of everything we’d been through on top of everything weighing me down, I ended up quite depressed. This was no fun, and I knew some things needed to change.

    I changed jobs. Working on an inpatient unit of the hospital was a big source of stress. Although I loved the unit and my coworkers, I was worn down on the hectic pace and irregular schedule. After much deliberation, I transferred to the outpatient infusion clinic. It’s still challenging, but in a different, calmer sort of way.

    I said no. At the time, I was the main leader of our church’s youth group. I knew I needed to cut some things out, so I asked my husband and my brother-in-law if they would take a larger role in this, and they did. They’ve been amazing, and now I am finally at a point where I can start being more involved again. Also, as my husband healed from his surgeries he was able to help out around the house more and I basically just allowed him to take care of me for awhile. I decided that chores could wait, and I tried to spend more time resting and relaxing.

    I saw a nutritionist. Depression really affected me physically, and I was struggling with what to eat because my stomach seemed to hurt all the time. I had also recently stopped eating meat, so I knew I needed some advice. She was a huge help and after following some of her suggestions I immediately felt better. I believe I’m now also a healthier person overall.

    I saw a therapist. I wasn’t afraid of asking for help, and seeing a counselor for a short period of time enabled me to break through some barriers and learn better coping skills. It was a stress reliever just to pour everything out to someone who understood, as well. It was good for my soul.

    After a couple of months, I began to feel like myself again. It happened slowly, but I got there. I know these things are cyclical and I understand that I might very well encounter depression again at some point in my life. But at least then, I’ll know how to handle it.

  • Reverb10: Happening Slowly and Sporadically

    So, obviously I’m not doing too well with #reverb10. I’m realizing that there’s a reason I don’t post every day. Although I love my new job, I am NOT used to working five days a week with an almost two-hour commute each way. Y’all, I am so tired all the time. I’m hoping that one day I’ll be able to do more in the evenings besides feed myself and collapse, but that day has not yet arrived.

    There is a lot happening in my mind lately, but I lack sufficient energy to write it down. I’ve been thinking about the prompts every day, and I do intend to write about some of them when I get the chance. Maybe this weekend? Who knows.

    What I do know is that in the morning I get to sleep until I wake up. And I see no reason why I shouldn’t start that process now. So, good night.