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  • Reverb10: Writing

    What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing – and can you eliminate it?

    When I first read this prompt, I had no idea how to answer it. The thing is, I don’t consider myself a writer. I’ve never had any dreams of getting anything published. I understand that many people who want to be writers start out blogging because it’s a way to start writing and make connections. But blogging and emailing are the only kinds of writing I ever do and they’re the only kinds I have a desire to do.

    That said, blogging and emailing are quite important to me. I do enjoy the writing process, and I highly value the connections I’ve made through my blog. And I keep up with some of my best friends, who live in other states, through emails. They are pretty impressive emails, too. I’d like to think that if any of us got famous one day they’d want to publish those emails.

    So what keeps me from blogging and emailing more?

    Well, the rest of my life. I only have a few hours every evening after I get home from work and before sleep takes me by force, and there are other things I’m interested in too, like spending time with family, eating, playing with my dogs, reading, whipping my house into shape, and a few – only a few – select TV shows.

    All of the things I have going on in my life are things that are important to me, and I’m not willing to eliminate them. I honestly don’t have a lot of time-wasters happening. So instead of exchanging one habit for another, I’ll just have to work on balancing it all.

  • One Word: Suffering

    Starting today, for the month of December, I’ll be participating in Reverb10, which is, according to their website, an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. One reason I’m doing this is because I’ve neglected to write lately, partially due to the fact that I’ve been studying for a huge test for the past month, and I think this’ll be a perfect kick start.

    But let’s be honest, it’s also because 2010 has been a hell of a year. I need to process it somehow.

    Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word.

    Suffering. I wish it weren’t the case, but this has been a year characterized by grief, pain, and distress. We have both suffered physically – me with a miscarriage and David with debilitating bone pain that ended in two major surgeries, which in turn caused financial suffering. And we have suffered emotionally and psychologically – we endured our second year of infertility and faced role changes in our marriage, and we have both dealt with significant anxiety and depression. Me more than at any other time in my life.

    I know my dad hates it when I write negative things (sorry Dad), and I know it’s because he loves me and wants me to be happy. But I’m just writing this because it’s true. Everyone goes through seasons of suffering in their lives, and we just happened to have a lot of it this year. Thankfully, I can write this with hope because it seems like things are finally falling into place for us.

    Now, imagine it’s one year from today. What would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

    Happiness. I don’t care if it’s trite; I’m ready for some pure joy. I’ve had The Happiness Project sitting on my shelf for months, and I plan to read through it next year month by month. I’m just settling into a job that I love and hardly ever stresses me out. I have a good feeling that next year will be the year that we start our own family. I’m ready to be connected to God again, and to relearn that all our suffering was for a reason.

    So, Dad, I hope this post doesn’t upset you. Because I’m already happy again, and this is just the beginning.

  • Today’s Success

    I don’t know why, but I woke up this morning feeling very emotionally precarious. I felt like I could cry at any moment, even though absolutely nothing bad had happened.

    I’ve been having difficulty at work starting IV’s. I hardly ever got to practice this skill while I worked in the hospital, and now I have to do it several times a week, sometimes multiple times a day. I might be successful 50% of the time, but I don’t think it’s that much. It’s very embarrassing to keep having to ask for help with this.

    On my way to work this morning I prayed that I wouldn’t have to start any. It’s almost Thanksgiving, I didn’t feel well, and I just wanted an easy day. Instead,  I had to start two IV’s – but I got them both on the first try. I think that’s better, overall, don’t you?

    That and chocolate have improved my outlook greatly.

  • Hibernating

    With colder weather here and earlier sunsets I’ve gone into a kind of hibernation. I love my job, and it’s not that stressful, but with the commute I still have to leave the house at 6 a.m. and I don’t get back until 6 p.m. By that time it’s dark and I’m worn out and I’m in bed by 8. I’m still getting used to this whole work-five-days-a-week thing.

    So you see that even though I have wanted to devote more time to writing here, I haven’t had much time for it. Instead I’ve opted to spend what little time I’m awake in the evenings with David, watching movies or doing puzzles.

    But there’s an entire weekend coming up (what a concept!) and I’m going to try to put a little energy into planning posts so I can be more of a presence here. In the meantime you can find me curled up on the couch, shamelessly wearing my Snuggie.

  • Friday Things: To Focus On

    Now that I’ve pretty much gotten settled into my new routine, I took stock of my life and decided that there are a few things that I need to focus on in the immediate future, and here they are.

    Study for (and pass!) the OCN exam.

    This is a priority. I take the oncology certification test on November 30, and I really need to pass. First of all, I’m taking the day off work for it, and I will be SO embarrassed if I come back the next day having failed. But mostly, it cost $265 to apply to take, and another $250 for a review course. If I pass, I get reimbursed. That’s a big incentive.

    Get Cleo back in shape.

    My favorite pup has become a fatty. Recently I saw this picture of her from a few years back:

    And this is her now (oh the shame):

    So I’ll be upping the amount of walks and trips to the dog park and switching to “healthy weight” food. Poor girl can’t help it that she has a terrible metabolism.

    Prepare for Christmas!

    I’d like to go into December with a good handle on all things Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday, and I don’t want it to be stressful. These are some things I want to get done sooner rather than later:

    • Finalize my wish list
    • Figure out what to give my family and search for deals
    • Have a complete list of names & addresses for people to send cards, and make significant progress on getting them out
    • Learn to make apple cider
    • Make an advent calendar (this will involve some very simple sewing but I am kind of petrified)
    • Put up a tree and decorate!

    What are you focusing on these days?