This past weekend my husband and I went on an Actual Date to the movies, just the two of us. When deciding what to see, we went strictly by the description on my Flixster app, since neither of us get out enough to have heard anything about the current movies out. We chose to see Drive, with Ryan Gosling and Carey Mulligan. It seemed like it’d be a fun action flick, had an 8.4 rating on imdb.com, and over 90% on Rotten Tomatoes. Sounds promising, right?
The reason this isn’t really a movie review is because I don’t deny that it was very well made, and I’m sure many people will love it and even rave about it. (My brother, for instance, told me that he quite enjoyed it.) But it was NOT what we were expecting, and not something I’d ever like to see again. In fact, I wish I could un-see it. It was dark, depressing, eerie, and violent; the kind of violence that is personal and disturbing. There is a scene where one man shakes the hand of another man who had been his friend, and as he does so he slits his arm with a knife severing the artery. “That’s it, it’s over. There’s no pain,” he says to the dying man, as if it’s some kind of consolation. This murder was committed just because the man knew something incriminating.
At this scene my stomach turned and I actually began to cry. There were several other similar scenes and it really got to me. My husband told me we could leave, but it was almost over so we stuck it out. It’s not that I can’t handle blood – I’m a nurse. And it’s not that I dislike dark or emotional movies. But I’ve always hated gratuitous violence, and now that I’m a mom it almost makes me sick. This movie did not leave us with any positive feelings or hope.
Last week David and I attended the viewing of an 18-year-old girl, his boss’s granddaughter, who recently passed away from a brain tumor. That’s my baby, her father said to us. That night I dreamed that Meredith died, and I woke up sobbing uncontrollably. Even when I realized it was a dream, I couldn’t stop because I felt so much fear that something bad will happen to her and I don’t feel like I could survive that. I know it’s not possible or even ultimately best for her, but I want her life to be perfect. I’m hypersensitive to anything evil or bad in the world now, and I don’t need a movie to remind me of it.
We should have just seen Dolphin Tale.
From Margarita:
I’m definitely more picky about what movies I’m watching lately. I prefer light and funny movies, but I also adore emotional flicks. I can’t stand anything that’s too dark, anything that’s being bad to children of any age. It’s just too much.
From rachieannie:
I know exactly how you feel! Those letters from babies to their mommies that often get posted on Facebook send me into an emotional tailspin for hours. I never thought I’d react like that to being a mom. So sorry that you had to go through that!
From Becca:
Yikes! I too have been subjected to feeling that way in a movie. Ryan gosling has been in some pretty gruesome flicks.
So sorry about that young girl. And your dream. I hate those.
From Michelle:
I also can’t handle that type of movie anymore. It’s been since becoming a mom – I am just hyper sensitive to that type of emotional pull, and I can’t handle it. I almost can’t even think about current events sometimes – it just makes me so sad that the world that Jonas will have inherited may not be a good one.
I know many people say that motherhood didn’t change them all that much. But it changed me profoundly.
Enough of that. Happy baby smiles!
From San:
In all honesty, I wonder what is wrong with people who come up with plots for movies like that. They are absolutely unnecessary and stupid. Movies like that especially bother me when there is no lesson to learn, no hope at the end. I’ll definitely not watch that one – as much as I love me some Ryan Goseling. I prefer “The Notebook”, thankyouverymuch.
From Katy:
Wow, so definitely will not see this one. I’m kind of like you in that I can’t do movies like this anymore. I just…can’t handle it. The gratuitous stuff…be it violence, sex, whatever…it gets stuck in my head. The same is also true of certain news stories. If it’s just of prurient interest and has no redeeming value, I try to steer clear. And I’m not even a mom! I just recently started feeling really certain that I don’t need to fill my mind with crap! “Whatsoever things are lovely…” right? =)
From Stephany:
I have never been able to do those movies and I don’t think I ever will. They creep me out too much. This is also why I can’t watch crime biographies on TV.
From Dad:
I had thought about going to see Drive so I read a few reviews and one of them mentioned some disturbing violence and knowing I’d go with your Mom I immediately ruled it out. I was a bit surprised when I heard you were going to see it and thought I might mention the review but I didn’t. I should have. I still like my action flicks but have long ago given up on horror stories and such. As a Dad I always wish to protect my kids from the evil in the world but I can’t. It’s a shame you grow up and leave and have to face all of it. It’s tough to be a parent, our love knows no bounds, it’s scary and frightening and there’s no safety net in the secular life. Just knowing we’re Christian and know Jesus is the only thing that gives peace to me. Disturbing images should be like leaves in a stream, let them float away and don’t dwell on them. If they appear let them go immediately and they’ll lose their power. It’s important to know there is true Evil out there, be wary but don’t let it stop you from Loving. After all loving my children has given me more joy than anything in my entire life. How can you pass on that.
From Jessica:
Glad I read this because I was thinking about going to see it but I’ll hold off until Netflix.
From Mindy:
Oh girl. I cry at everything now that I’m a mom… especially the news! A quote I was told at my baby shower: “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ~Elizabeth Stone So true, isn’t it? Hope you’re able to squeeze in a comedy or light movie this weekend to override this one!
From wishcake:
Oh, wow. I’m really glad I didn’t see that (even though I wanted to, simply due to my Gosling-fixation). I’m exactly like you when it comes to gratuitous violence. It hurts my soul. When the first Saw movie came out, Jay and I went to see it—I knew it was going to be intense, but I can handle gore and all of that. However, within the first twenty minutes I felt physically ill. I thought I was going to be sick, and my head was spinning. We ended up leaving soon after, because I couldn’t handle it.
Maybe it sounds judgey of me, but I really wonder about people who can watch things like that and consider it entertaining. (My husband included.) It just…doesn’t make sense to me.
And I know what you mean about motherhood changing the way you see things! I’m the same way.
From kapachino:
I’m glad you said that about wondering how other people can enjoy these movies. I’m the same way. Another similar movie is Pulp Fiction; so many people claim to love it, people I love and admire, even! I just don’t get it. It disgusts me.