kapachino

Category: motherhood

  • Cloth Diapers, Nursery Progress, & Other Domestic Updates

    Contrary to the way my I have portrayed myself, I don’t actually sit around watching TV day in and day out. The arrival of a baby to this house has actually awoken my hibernating nesting instinct! So here are some domestic updates for you, aka boring things that I’m now excited about.

    Meredith is wearing cloth diapers now!

    At a little over ten pounds, she finally fits into her small Fuzzibunz. She’s been wearing them for about a week now and I love it SO much. I was worried about the transition, but it has been extremely easy! Honestly, I would choose cloth diapers just because of how much fun it is for me, to say nothing about the money-and-planet-saving aspect of it, and how good it is for the baby’s skin. I’ll do a post about this once we get a little more experience. But seriously, LOVE. So much so that I’m now addicted to entering all the giveaways I can find for cloth diapers. Did y’all know that there’s, like, an entire black hole of blogs dedicated solely to cloth diapers and giveaways? It’s amazing and dangerous.

    I made a recipe binder!

    I completed the binder I linked to in my cooking post, and I’m pretty happy with it. First, I’m happy about completing a project, and second, I think this will help me a lot! I always thought that I would compile my recipes online somehow, but I think I do better with having something printed out for me to look through. I think I will eventually look for new recipes online, and then once I have tried them and know we love them, I’ll print it out and add it to the binder. My next goal in this area (other than continuing to cook several dinners a week, which, so far so good) is to figure out a good system for meal planning and grocery shopping, and I also want to reorganize my pantry and kitchen cabinets to make everything easier on myself.

    The nursery is almost finished!

    I’m especially excited about this one because this will be the first room that I can say I’m completely happy with in our house since we moved in almost three years ago. All I need to do is frame and hang a piece I just received from Etsy, and when that’s finished I can do a complete nursery tour. I just love spending time there, it makes me so happy.

    In other news:

    >I’m still plugging through Infinite Jest and will for sure be finished by the time I go back to work, but if I can finish this week that would be ideal. I appreciate the mastery of the writing and really enjoy some parts, especially as it gets near the end, but I have to say that I almost lost it with the animal abuse (if you’ve read it you KNOW what part I’m talking about). Anyway, I am looking forward to having it behind me and moving on to other books, like The Help which is our next book club book, but I think I’ll actually miss it once I’m finished.

    >Our small church recently disbanded (long, sad story) so now we have begun the process of visiting new churches every week. It’s kind of fun and exciting, but overwhelming too, especially with a new baby! We went to one over the weekend that I really loved, so things look promising.

    >My brother is getting married next month! Check out the cool wedding website he designed.

  • Diaper Bag: Newborn Edition

    I’ve seen a lot of “what’s in my diaper bag” posts lately, which I love, but most of them are for older babies or toddlers and I still have a (basically) newborn. So here’s what’s in my diaper bag for a little bitty baby, and I’ll do another post of this sort later on when she’s grown some and our supplies have changed.

    Here’s our diaper bag, the Skip Hop Duo. So far I think it’s great. I chose basic black so it would go with anything and David wouldn’t feel weird carrying it. I still dream of super cute diaper bags but they are also super expensive. This one has all the function we need, with plenty of inside and outside pockets, a changing pad, two built-in zip up wet compartments, and a cell phone compartment.

    Here’s what it looks like from above, full of our stuff.

    This is what’s in the outside pockets, which is mostly my stuff. From left to right: my Sony Reader (I zip this in one of the top wet compartments), pacifier that never gets used, wallet, sunglasses, keys (yes I carry Mace) and Aquaphor – the best chapstick ever.

    These are the supplies that are in the inside pockets. We have travel wipes, a wet bag, baby sunscreen, diaper rash cream, and hand sanitizer.

    Finally, the bulky stuff in the main compartment. From left to right: ring sling (we don’t have an infant car seat that can be removed so I bring a carrier with me just in case), nursing cover, blanket, burp cloth, change of clothes, and several disposable diapers (she’s still too small for the cloth ones we have).

    That’s it! I keep all of this stuff in there at all times, and just restock when necessary. For now I’ve quit carrying a purse, but that will change when I go back to work.

    For you moms out there, what are your necessary travel supplies? What diaper bag do you use and what do you think of it?

  • meredith at one month

    She:

    >Weighs ten pounds (!) according to my inaccurate bathroom scale

    >Lost her umbilical cord stump at three weeks which made me cry

    >Outgrew newborn diapers

    >Smiles a lot even though we’re not sure if it’s the real thing

    >Has crazy bedhead every morning

    >Likes to nurse A LOT and isn’t interested in a pacifier or bottle

    >Still has a mild eye infection caused by a narrow tear duct

    >Has a very calm personality, unless she’s hungry

    >Doesn’t particularly like baths, but then again she’s only had a few

    >Can hold her head up pretty well and likes to look around

    >Isn’t very good at crying, it’s more like grunting most of the time

    >Actually sleeps for a long time every night

    >Has deliciously chubby cheeks

    I:

    >Think bedsharing is the greatest thing ever

    >Haven’t gotten the hang of babywearing yet

    >Love kissing Meredith’s temples most of all

    >Haven’t even thought about losing weight yet, and therefore am still 15 pounds up and voluntarily wearing mostly maternity clothes

    >Enjoy taking Meredith out to run errands

    >Have been experiencing post-baby nesting instinct, and have actually gotten a lot of organizing done lately

    >Am working on putting the finishing touches on the nursery

    >Have already nursed in multiple public locations

    >Am kind of horrified at the amount of diapers we go through, and can’t wait until Meredith is big enough to wear cloth

    >Have been watching a lot of TV – Project Runway, Design Star, Prison Break, Mad Men

    >Still have some lingering numbness in my fingers and tenderness around my incision

    >Wonder when the pregnancy line down my belly will go away

    >Already miss my newborn and am ready to have a bunch more, if it wasn’t for the whole pregnancy thing

    >Know I’m a mother now, but I just feel like myself

    >Could stare at this face forever:

  • Newborn Photoshoot

    When Meredith was two weeks old, my friend Cio generously offered to come over and take newborn pictures of her. That was such a blessing, because already she looks so different and I want to remember her just as she was!

    Two weeks ago her hair was still pretty instead of thinning on the sides, sticking up crazy on top, and mullet-y in the back. She still had her umbilical cord stump. She still fit into newborn diapers. She was perfect, and still is. :)

     

    More pictures here.

  • meredith’s birth story, part three

    Part one

    Part two

    I was stalled out at 6 cm and my doctor was telling me she needed to do something to help me along. I wanted to keep things natural, but I had been having terrible back labor for over ten hours after a full day of work, no sleep, and nothing to eat. There was only so much I could take. She listed several different things that we could try, including breaking my water, putting in an internal monitor to measure contractions, and giving me Pitocin. But first I knew that if I was going to have any of those interventions I needed to get an epidural.

    If I could have pushed anytime soon, I know that I could have given birth without pain medication. But I absolutely couldn’t handle more labor with Pitocin or my water broken, which only makes contractions more painful. Through tears, I asked my doula Kelly if she’d be disappointed in me if I got the epidural. She had been with me all night and reassured me that it was the right thing to do. So that’s what I did. Mercifully, once I asked for it they were ready to put it in right away. But getting it put in was another horror, as I had to sit up straight on the side of the bed and hold completely still, all the while having death contractions. The medicine itself felt very strange going in, but soon enough I couldn’t feel anything. This was at 8:15 a.m.

    First smile in twelve hours

    I could still move my legs and I felt some pressure, which I thought would be good when it came time to push. What I mainly felt was relief. Now I could finally interact with the people around me, use my phone, and try to rest. I also made everyone else go to sleep for a little while. As for me, I was being turned every ten minutes from side to side in the “runner’s position” where the top knee is brought up to the chest and the upper torso is twisted the opposite way. This was to try and get the baby to rotate, because even my doctor was pretty sure that she was facing up. We were hoping that with the epidural relaxing me and the change of positions, she would turn and engage in the pelvis without further interventions.

    Over an hour later, my doctor returned and did an ultrasound. The baby was still facing up, and she estimated her to be close to 8 pounds. She checked me again and I hadn’t made any progress. At this point I had already given up on not having medication, and my primary goal was to avoid a C-section. I had been stalled for many, many hours by this time and my doctor wanted to start being more aggressive.

    I told her to go ahead, so first she broke my water and placed an internal monitor. This wasn’t the kind that attaches to the baby’s head, it was just inside to measure the strength of my contractions more accurately. Soon after that I had a catheter placed (I didn’t feel any of this other than pressure because of the epidural) and then Pitocin was turned on. Now we just had to wait for my body to establish a good pattern of contractions and see if I made any progress.

    A little while later I started to feel some pain from contractions in my right lower back. I asked the nurse what was going on and she said when they put in the epidural they gave a loading dose to get me comfortable, and I might just be feeling that wearing off and switching to the maintenance dose. I had a button to push to get an extra boost, so I pushed it and decided I’d wait and see if that helped. But ten minutes later and I was writhing and groaning with pain again worse than ever. They called in the anesthesiologist to take a look. He said, “This is really rare, but it seems to be backtracking. For some reason this always seems to happen with people in the medical field.” In other words, instead of the medicine going INTO me, it was going back the other way. Perfect. I was feeling everything full force – with my water broken and Pitocin and everything. This was a low point.

    Putting in the second epidural wasn’t quite as bad as the first, but it was still miserable. It worked though, and soon enough I was calm again. After an undetermined amount of time (it’s kind of hazy) my doctor came to check me again. She told me that where before I was 6-7 cm, now I was a solid 7 and perhaps a little bit more effaced. She said, “I want you to know that most doctors would have recommended a C-section a long time ago.” I told her, “Well I like you because you’re not most doctors.” She smiled and said, “Sweet-talking won’t get you everything you want in this situation.” I told her I understood, but I wanted her to know that anyway.

    I knew that my doctor was ready to do a C-section, but I wasn’t mentally prepared for that yet. I asked her if we could wait longer, because technically I had made some progress. She agreed and said she was okay with waiting as long as the baby seemed healthy. Inside, though, I felt doomed and was just coming to terms with everything.

    My doctor waited there with me for quite awhile watching the monitor. While she was there Meredith’s heart rate started dropping. At first it wasn’t for long, but it kept dropping lower and longer and not recovering. We all got worried. They put an oxygen mask on me but it didn’t help. Eventually my doctor said that she didn’t want to mess around with this and it was time to do surgery. I was bawling, but I talked to David and Kelly and realized that I didn’t want to put Meredith’s safety at risk just for a stubborn preference for an ideal birth experience.

    Once I agreed to the C-section they had me in the OR right away. I was extremely anxious. I had started to be able to feel some slight pain again and I was paranoid that they’d start cutting me and I’d be able to feel it. They weighed me down with blankets, and that plus the oxygen mask and the sedation medicine made me feel claustrophobic and short of breath. David came in and sat by me and started talking to distract me, and before they started my doctor came over and asked to pray with us which meant the world to me. My husband said a perfect prayer, and then it was time.

    I felt some tugging, but that’s it. And before I knew it, at 3:46 p.m., I heard my doctor say, “Happy birthday Meredith; you’re still a girl!” followed by sweet baby cries. They cleaned her off in my peripheral vision while my husband looked on. He came over to me and said, “She’s not ugly at all!” Soon I got to see her adorable face for myself before they took her to the nursery.

    At the time it didn’t even really bother me that I couldn’t hold her or nurse her right away because I was just. so. tired. I had been awake for 36 hours and all I wanted was sleep, so that’s what I did while they finished the surgery. I guess it was about an hour later that my doctor woke me up and told me that everything went fine. Turns out that Meredith’s cord was wrapped around her neck like a noose, so the C-section was probably a good choice.

    I was wheeled back to my room in the bed, but on the way there I passed the windows to the nursery where my entire family was gathered looking in on my baby girl. It was a special moment, but the best was when they finally brought her to me to hold for myself. I was so happy to have everything behind me and my daughter safe in my arms.

    Obviously nothing about this birth went as I’d hoped, and I still get sad when I hear about other people giving birth naturally or even vaginally. I never got to push, wasn’t the first one to touch her, there was no cutting of the cord, no holding her right away. Although not the most important thing, the birth experience has a tremendous impact on a woman and I feel that I’m scarred from mine, literally and figuratively. I don’t know what I’ll do with my next child, if I’m able to have one. But I know that this time I did everything I could, and so I have no regrets. I have a healthy baby which is an honor and a blessing, and I would go through it all over again in a second to be her mother.