kapachino

Category: motherhood

  • pregnancy to-do list

    In my last post I talked about how I really haven’t done anything yet to prepare for the arrival of a newborn other than try to fully enjoy  myself to the max. I don’t regret taking the time to do this one single bit, but I’m approaching the midway point of my pregnancy and, let’s face it, there is a lot to be done whether I want to do it or not.

    So I got to thinking that it might help me to write down an overview of things I need to do in the next 4-5 months. I don’t want to get into specifics yet, but I also don’t want to forget anything. Here’s what I’ve got so far.

    Sooner…

    >Find a home for Oliver. This is the biggest cloud hanging over my head right now. We’ve decided not to keep our dog Oliver because he just doesn’t get along with other dogs. He has fought with 5 different dogs, in different places, and he has fought with our dog Cleo several times, the last time producing quite a deep wound. On his own, he’s a sweet, loving pet. We shipped our other dogs off to our parents’ house for a week and we found that out. We wish we had the time and resources to train him, but in our current situation it’s too overwhelming for us, and too scary to keep him around our other dogs with a baby in the house.

    >Finish painting the house. Originally I wanted to furnish and decorate the rest of the house as well, but I know that’s not going to happen. Painting, though, is a hassle that I want to complete. I have plenty of help from my family and friends, it’s just finding time to actually do it that is the problem. There are several rooms, a hallway, plus all the trim and doors to do.

    >Start childbirth classes and formulate a birth plan. Since I’ve decided to do my best to have a natural childbirth, I know I need a lot of preparation. We settled on the Bradley Method classes, and I found an instructor in my area and signed up. The classes are 8 weeks long covering 12 weeks’ worth of material, and they start March 30. From what I hear, they cover everything from natural childbirth to breastfeeding to infant care.

    >Start attending La Leche League meetings. I really want breastfeeding to work out, and I’m at least going to give it the best possible chance, so I need to be informed. I have a friend who’s really involved with La Leche League, and I want to start attending meetings with her soon.

    >Meet with my doula. I’m lucky to have a friend who is completing her doula training and she’ll have her certification by the time my due date rolls around. I want to get together with her soon to get advice, recommendations, and to discuss my situation and desires in more detail.

    At some point…

    >Get our carpet replaced. This is an expense I’d rather skip, but the future nursery used to be the dogs’ room of choice to have all of their “accidents.” We’ve since kept that room closed off, but not only are there stains galore but it smells. The rest of the carpet is stained too, as well as chewed and eaten in some places.

    >Create a nursery. This is obvious, but it still has to get done. I see so many nurseries that I love, but I need to figure out what kind of style will flow best with the rest of our house.

    >Register, have showers, & stock up on supplies. I’m a little bit terrified of this whole process, but kind of excited, too.

    >Choose a name. Right now we have several boy names that we like, because we just cannot fathom having a girl. Even after we find out (next week!) what we’re having, though, I don’t know if I’ll be able to commit to a name until the last minute. It’s so much pressure!

    >Read up on childbirth and parenting. So far on my list: Creating Your Birth Plan by Marsden Wagner, Nurtureshock by Po Bronson, The Birth Book and The Baby Book both by Dr. William Sears. Any others along the same lines that I’m missing?

    >Make a post-baby budget. I’m dreading this and will probably continue to put it off until I can’t anymore.

    >Take a short vacation or two. I can’t go crazy with my days off since I’m trying to save them up for maternity leave, but one of my best friends & her family are coming to stay with us in April for a long weekend and I’m looking forward to a couple extra days off to be with them. My husband and I are also planning on taking a long weekend trip this spring to visit my uncle & aunt in South Carolina.

    >Figure out maternity leave. This is really just a matter of talking to my manager. It shouldn’t be a big deal because she’s very supportive and just had a baby last year herself. I think I get six weeks plus whatever PTO I’ve managed to save up, but I’m not sure of the details and at what rate I’ll get paid.

    >Hammer out childcare details. I’m SO lucky that my mom has decided to retire and stay home to take care of our baby once I go back to work. We’ll be paying her, but it won’t be near as expensive as daycare and I hope it’ll be a little easier leaving the babe with her.

    Later…

    >Book photographer (maternity & birth). My friend Cio has agreed to be our birth photographer. I know it might be hard to coordinate since she lives a couple hours away and births don’t always happen at convenient times, but I really hope it works out!

    >Prepare birth details: phone tree, hospital bag, plans for dogs, birthday cake. Not gonna worry about this for awhile, shouldn’t be too difficult.

    >Pick out and prepare birth announcements. It’d be nice to get as much of this done as possible ahead of time, anyway.

    >Last minute stuff: go to the spa, have the house cleaned, stock up frozen meals. All very important things, am I right?

    So tell me, is there anything else I should add to the list? (Please don’t tell me I’m missing something major. Well, DO, but I just hope that I’m not.) Anything on the list that isn’t really necessary? Help me!

  • eighteen weeks

    I hope y’all don’t mind me doing these pregnancy updates. It took me a long time to get here so I want to at least write about it from time to time. I’m a little over eighteen weeks at this point, and here’s what’s going on:

    Symptoms: I now have a ravenous appetite unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s kind of awesome considering two months ago I didn’t ever know if I would enjoy food again, but it’s hard to keep under control. I also get almost-daily headaches, and Tylenol doesn’t usually cut it. I got a massage the other day, but it didn’t seem to help much either. Possibly it’s just hormone-related, or possibly I need several more massages. I like the second option better. I dry heave every night when I brush my teeth, without fail. Apparently my gag reflex is super sensitive now, and the taste of my toothpaste reminds me of all my first trimester nausea.

    Medical stuff: I’m still taking iron supplements which are no fun. My blood pressure remains excellent. I am now up about 8 pounds according to my doctor, which is fine for how far along I am, only I’m alarmed since I gained it all in four weeks. Pretty sure it’s mostly due to the aforementioned appetite. From here on out I’m focusing more on healthy foods and I’m going to attempt to get back into light exercise.

    Movement: I’m pretty sure that I feel the baby fluttering around in there from time to time, but I can’t be sure. I know the real kicks won’t come for probably a few more weeks, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to feel it now. I can’t wait for that.

    Clothes: I’ve never been so thankful to wear scrubs every day to work as I am now. I’m hoping to stay in the same scrub pants throughout my pregnancy since they have a drawstring. As you can see, my belly still isn’t very big but it’s big enough to make my normal jeans a bit uncomfortable, especially after I eat. Usually I either wear them normally or do the rubber band loop. The only major change I’ve had to make is to purchase new bras. Didn’t really expect that so early.

    Preparation: Sometimes I worry because I really haven’t done much at all to prepare for having a baby in my life. There is a to-do list a mile long that I have yet to tackle. But you know what I have been doing? Reading for pleasure. Watching lots of movies. Going to bed early and sleeping late on the weekends. Planning short vacations for this spring. I know these are things that I will soon consider a luxury, so I’m enjoying them and counting it as its own form of preparation.

    Also: We have our big anatomy scan in a week and a half, so say a prayer that everything is as it should be. Yes, we will be finding out the sex and probably I will share with you. I’m hoping that being able to think of the baby as my son or daughter will help me feel more of a connection to it, because right now I still have a hard time believing that this is actually happening.

  • stuff and things and whatnot

    So it’s February now, and I want to admit that I completely, utterly, and rather spectacularly failed at my January goals. Apparently I overestimated the amount of work I can get done during the week, and underestimated pregnancy tiredness. Here’s a summary:

    I meant to…

    • Declutter the whole house, but I only did my bathroom and one drawer in the kitchen
    • Exercise once a week, but I only did yoga once
    • Walk the dogs twice a week, but I only took Oliver twice
    • Accomplish two nagging tasks, but I didn’t do any of them

    I’m okay with this. These are just going to have to become ongoing goals. I discovered that I’m really not going to be getting much done after work during the week other than daily chores, and if I don’t block out some time on the weekends to work on projects then the time will be taken up by social outings or TV show marathons.

    In other news, my birthday is on Saturday so I’m celebrating all week long as usual. Even though I was given a not-so-welcome gift of freezing cold weather, I’m still having a great week. Work has been going so well, David and I have had a couple of relaxing nights together, I have some fun plans for this weekend, and I let myself order a few things that I’ve had my eye on. I love birthday week.

    I have no pregnancy updates for you, considering I’m still not really showing and I haven’t felt the baby move yet. It’s pretty hard not to get anxious about it, but I’m trying my best because I know this is normal. I could do without the almost-daily hormonal headaches, but it’s an even trade for the return of my voracious appetite.

    Anyway, to bring this bit of rambling full circle, this month I plan to continue working on the house, focus on my marriage a la The Happiness Project, and hopefully thoroughly enjoy myself. How about you?

  • fourteen weeks

    Here I am at fourteen weeks pregnant, officially into the second trimester, and my baby is alive and kicking! I mean, I can’t actually feel it kicking, but it’s doing something of the sort. Squirming, at least.

    Can’t see anything? How about a closer look:

    Still nothing? Yeah, I don’t see much either. But let’s compare to two months ago (when it was hot and I wore a tank top; now I refuse to wear anything that isn’t warm).

    A little bit of difference, right? I mean, you can no longer see my rippling abdominal muscles. Although it could just be bloating. That is very, very possible.

    The first trimester was okay. My relationship with food changed a lot and I dry heaved more than I ever have but at least I never threw up. I gained a grand total of one pound and slept a lot. I discovered I am anemic and am now forced to take iron supplements. I put my vegetarianism on hold (although I still only eat meat part-time) because it was too new to withstand all these changes and I didn’t want to stress about food. We skipped the screening tests for genetic disorders and I found a new OB that I love. We’re starting to make decisions about the future like what kind of birth we want and names.

    Our baby is apparently now the size of a lemon. It is constantly moving around (as I saw on the ultrasound) and has a good, strong heartbeat. We don’t have a nickname for it, and we haven’t decided yet if we’re going to find out the sex. (We probably will.)

    I am feeling mostly great these days. I sleep well, I eat well, I work well. I’m trying to use this time to get things accomplished, because I don’t expect this energy to last. I still go to bed super early, but that also might be because I have to wake up before 5 a.m.

    David is so incredibly cute when he talks about becoming a dad. When my doctor offhandedly mentioned a book about nutrition to me, he brought it home that night. He bought a parenting book for himself. He tells everyone the one name that we both like (for a boy, because it will be a miracle if I produce a girl) even though we haven’t even considered other names and we’re far from decided. He’s making positive changes in his life because he knows that soon he’ll be an example for our child. I can’t wait to see him as a dad.

  • take two

    Let me tell you one thing that’s really on my mind these days.

    My husband David and I were finally able to have an IUI in early November. It was two years coming, a rough two years during which we experienced miscarriage, depression, major surgeries, and financial difficulty, but they were also two of the best years of my life because I spent them with David.

    Everyone who deals with infertility has a different experience. I feel extremely blessed that I am able to get pregnant at all, but our journey hasn’t been easy. Although we haven’t had to undergo countless procedures, we have been forced to wait what seems like a long time because of one obstacle or another.

    Two weeks after the procedure we couldn’t stand it any longer and took a home pregnancy test. It was positive. Then we took another one. Positive. I think I was kind of in shock. David was ecstatic, and he kept asking me, “Why aren’t you happy?” Of course I was, and am, happy, but the first thing I felt was scared. My miscarriage was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, and it’s still fresh on my mind. I really, really, don’t want that to happen again. For the first couple of weeks I noticed that I mostly tried not to think about it at all, because I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

    At the same time, I don’t want to live in fear. And I don’t think it will help the situation at all to be constantly worried. So my intention has been to remain positive, and to think about this pregnancy as being successful. It’s hard some days, but now? At nine weeks, after two successful ultrasounds showing one strong heartbeat?

    I’m excited.