kapachino

Category: personal

  • trying to respond

    I am such an avoider of conflict. It’s really not that great of a characteristic. I am having a very hard time dealing with this situation with my friend. The conflict was thrust upon me, and now I have to respond. The last time we spoke I wasn’t prepared, and things were left in a bad place. Since I didn’t know when I would see her again, I ended up leaving her a letter to read. It was honest and at the same time caring, but I’m worried that she will just see it as judgment and intolerance and miss the love. I’m doing what I can, but it’s hard.

    In other news, I have my first clinical tomorrow. A 12 1/2 hour shift in the surgical ICU. It’s going to be a long day. I hope I like it.

    And finally, for a break from this melancholy, check out my good friend Carmen’s video blog, One Leg Duck. This week I am a featured character, filmed on our recent trip to New Mexico. It’s a silly short little thing.

  • troubled

    What do you do when one of your oldest, closest friends starts acting in a way that doesn’t fit her at all, disrespects your friendship by being deliberately deceitful to you about it, and shows no remorse for anything? My first instinct is to avoid this person and have as little to do with her as possible. I know that’s not very loving, and I need to be there for her. But I really don’t know how to reach out right now.

  • atonement, the movie

    I recently told you a little about the book we read for our book club, Atonement. Since it is Now a Major Motion Picture! we decided to go see it as a group. It took us a really long time to figure out when all five of us could make it together, but we finally settled on last night at seven.

    Well, Leah ended up not being able to come. Amanda was late because she had to pick up Cleo from the groomers. Courtney, Sara, and I walked in right before the actual movie began because with rain and traffic it took us quite awhile to get there. So a bit of a rough start, but I was really looking forward to the movie and was set on enjoying it.

    I was sitting next to Sara, and I noticed that she was breathing a little noisily but I figured it was just her congestion because she’s been sick. But then it became louder, so I glanced over and saw that she was completely asleep and snoring. Not too long after that Courtney got sick to her stomach and left to spend a good while in the bathroom. I noticed that Amanda was focused more on her phone than the movie. I think I’m the only one who enjoyed the movie in its entirety, although to be fair Courtney was really into the movie and couldn’t help that she got sick.

    As for the movie itself, I liked it even though I thought it was a much better book. The music was especially cool. The girl who played Briony was really creepy looking. And that’s about the extent of my review. Apparently it won the Golden Globe for best motion picture, drama. Out of the other nominees, I have only seen No Country For Old Men, which I think I liked better than Atonement. But anyway, there you have it.

  • fishing trip

    Ever since Boyfriend David got his fishing boat (which he shares with his brother and dad) and they started taking trips down to the coast with it, I have dropped hints, asked, and finally begged for him to take me out in it. Fishing is a huge part of his life, and I want to be involved in it. Well, yesterday he got a trailer hitch installed on his truck, which would enable him to pull the boat himself, and today after church we headed down together.

    Here we’re putting the boat in the water. I backed the truck and trailer up while David unhooked the boat and drove it off:


    Here is David baiting my hook. I didn’t want to deal with the live shrimp today, thank you very much.

    They are just so disgusting:

    Check out this action shot (yes, I wore my life jacket!):

    I was so happy when I caught this little trout all by myself. I got a little too excited and reeled him in so fast that I flung him over the boat. But he stayed on the hook!

    I would have been happy just with that little fish, but soon afterwards I got this one! It’s called a sheepshead and I think it’s pretty. I actually had to fight to reel him in, with David telling me what to do.

    Here’s my man at the wheel of the boat, taking us home:

    It was so pretty out there:

    Here’s David getting the boat back on the trailer. As I was taking this he said to me, “This isn’t the time to be taking pictures!” Apparently he needed my help or something, but I just really wanted to capture the moment!

    I had a really great time and I’m sure we’ll be going out a lot more often. Don’t worry, I won’t give you the play by play of every fishing trip, but I really wanted to document our first one together. :)

    Anyone else do anything interesting this weekend?

  • Why I Don’t Like Politics

    So there’s some political stuff going on in the country. You may have noticed. One thing I have come to learn about myself over the past few years is that I don’t like politics. At all. Lately I’ve been wondering why, and this is what I’ve come up with:

    1. I am competitive by nature, and I don’t really like that about myself. I don’t like the way I feel or view others when I get caught up in a competition. I’ve been trying to be better and learn to deal with this, because I want to be able to enjoy games and have healthy discussions with no hard feelings. But in the sphere of politics, there are so many places to disagree, therefore so much room for argument. So I’ve just avoided it.

    2. Because I’ve avoided it for so long, I don’t really know anything about it. I don’t know much about any of the candidates, or really much of what is going on in the country, or even what I think and why. So I find myself disagreeing with everyone simply because I want to keep an open mind.

    3. I don’t like confrontation or fighting of any kind. Especially when I’m involved. I just want everyone to get along!

    Last fall I had a conversation with one of my best friends who is very involved in politics and in fact works for a non-profit organization in that area. I promised her that before the 2008 election I would figure out what I think about the issues and be able to come back to her to have an informed discussion. This is a huge undertaking for me, and one I’m not really looking forward to. But. I don’t want to stay ignorant. So here I go.