kapachino

Category: personal

  • Ashes To Ashes

    I was rushing around today at work, busy as usual. Even though I’m not giving chemo right now, there’s still plenty to do. I was in the middle of admitting a patient when my manager came to the door to get me. I read her lips, and that’s how I discovered that one of my other patients had just died.

    It was somewhat expected by this point, although the disease conquered her in just a few months. The family wanted an autopsy done, not because they didn’t know why she had died, but because she was the kind of person who would have wanted her death to mean something. They wanted as much knowledge to come out of it as possible.

    I know that I come into contact with death more than the average girl, but each time is uniquely difficult. Today I felt the stark contrast of the new life that is taking shape in my body with the bleak scene in front of me. As I gently cleaned my patient’s body and wrapped it in the shroud, my hand reached idly to touch my forehead, where the trace of ashes still remained.

    Remember that you came from dust, and to dust you will return.

  • Letters

    ***

    Dear Houston Weather,

    You are making my life miserable.

    With Hate,
    Me

    ***

    Dear Oliver,

    Kindly calm down and let me finish typing this post. Also, I don’t appreciate you chewing the nose off my teddy bear.

    Love,
    The Girl Who Feeds You

    ***

    Dear Everyone,

    Sorry this is such a lame post. I worked all day and now I can barely keep my eyes open. Still love me?

    Sincerely Yours,
    Kathleen

  • new things

    There have been a lot of exciting things happening around here. Finally I get to share them with you!

    First of all, if you’ll take a minute to click through, you’ll notice my new design. There are still a few odds and ends to clean up here and there, but it’s basically done. I absolutely love it, and I hope you do too. Thanks to my brother for doing all the leg work, and so much faster than I expected!

    Now on to the other stuff…

    My husband is going to a conference in New York City in April, and for my birthday my in-laws got me a plane ticket to accompany him. My parents got me the guidebook plus some cash to spend while there, and my husband pooled together with my brothers to buy us house seating to Billy Elliott on Broadway. Those tickets aren’t available to the public, and we only got them because of my brother’s theatre connections. I am SO excited.

    Meet Oliver, our new puppy. Yes, puppy. He is only about seven months old and is already a hundred pounds (& growing). He has a limp, but it doesn’t seem to slow him down much. We’ve already bid a fond farewell to two pairs of shoes, a dog bed, and cleaned up several smelly presents. Thank God for the crate. Oliver’s not yet neutered, a situation that we intend to rectify as soon as possible, so we can’t leave him around our other dogs for too long because he’s way too alpha.

    Despite the difficulties of wrangling three dogs around the house, one of them an enormous puppy, we love it. Oliver is soft, sweet, and one day he’ll make an excellent cuddler – when he learns that people’s arms aren’t chew toys.

    On Sunday after church I dragged my husband and my mom to three different dealerships all across town before we finally found one that was open. When I told the salesman I was interested in a Prius, he immediately had me test drive a new one. I admit that I was swayed by the bells and whistles it offered, but in the end it cost $11,000 more than a used car. I found this 2005 model with only 26,000 miles and we got an amazing interest rate, free warranty, AND they’re installing an mp3 connection for free – because I HAVE to be able to plug in my iPhone.

    When I was driving it home from the dealership I was so excited and preoccupied that I turned the wrong way on the Interstate and didn’t notice for about thirty minutes. I was almost to Huntsville (which is about 1.5 hours away from my home) by the time I turned around. Good thing I get great gas mileage now! Seriously though, I love this car. It makes my life a million times easier.

    I’m having a great week. How about you?

  • Ten On Tuesday: I Want To Live A Simple Life

    1. Fill in the blank. Sometimes I wish my life was more ______.
    Simple, spiritual.

    2. How do you cure the hiccups?
    Take a knife or a fork and bite down on it. While your teeth are clenched there, take a couple sips of water without letting them go. You will probably spill some on you, but your hiccups will be gone if you do it right – guaranteed.

    3. What are three of your favorite indulgences?
    Pedicures, chocolate, and reality TV.

    4. Where is the most exotic place you would like to travel to? The most mundane?
    Most exotic – Africa for a safari. Most mundane – Kansas to visit friends.

    5. Does having your time planned out stress you or relax you?
    Relaxes me. Even when I have time off to do what I want, I like to plan it out for myself so that I can accomplish everything I want to, even if it’s just reading a certain number of chapters or catching up on DVR.

    6. What are your favourite fabrics to wear?
    I’m not a fashion snob, and I like wearing anything smooth and comfortable. I know what I like when I feel it, but I have to say that I don’t know what that is.

    7. Do you sleep through the night?
    I almost always wake up when David comes to bed 2-3 hours after I’ve already been to sleep. He says that I moan in pain/exhaustion at that time, like nothing could be worse in the world at that moment than not being asleep. I also rouse when my dog Cleo wants to get under the covers, or if she wants to get out from under them. That happens a few times during the night, but I don’t fully wake. If I didn’t have those two distractions, I think I’d easily sleep through the night every night.

    8. When you were younger, what did you think you would be doing at this age? How close is that to what you are doing?
    I can’t remember thinking about this age much when I was younger. It was so far away it was like a different world to me, one where I didn’t belong. I guess I had some vague ideas of what I wanted to be when I grew up, which ranged from a photographer to a physical therapist. The latter is somewhat along the lines of nursing, I suppose.

    9. What has surprised you most about growing up?
    I think it’s that I never really feel like I’m “grown up.” I don’t feel old, and I’m not depressed about getting older. But also, I never would have guessed that my parents (and my in-laws) would be my friends at this age, and that I would enjoy spending time with them more than almost anyone else.

    10. Are you good at keeping secrets?
    Yes, except from my husband. I consider him an extension of myself, so don’t tell me anything unless you’re okay with him knowing too. But don’t worry, you can trust him. :)

  • 28.

    This is a picture of me and my parents on my first birthday. My mom is pregnant with my brother and I have cake all over my face. I like it.

    Today I turn twenty-eight, and I am solidly in my late twenties, which I guess is okay with me since I’ve felt like I’m twenty-eight for months already. I remember when I thought seventeen was soooo old, and when thirty seemed like a lifetime away. But honestly, despite the fact that I practically live the life of a grandma (sans retirement), I still feel young. I can’t imagine actually feeling old, even years and years from now. But what do I know about that?

    It’s been quite a birthday week. We acquired a third dog, which has been fun and overwhelming and deserves a post of its own. I started an additional part-time job that had me nervous all week but turned out to be fine, and pays really well too. I’m probably getting a new car tomorrow, which is a good thing since I want to cry every time I get into my truck. Sadly I got sick this week, and still am, and I just don’t do sick well. The weather has been dreary since I can remember.

    My husband has gone above and beyond to make sure I have a wonderful week with countless small gestures such as flowers, notes, and putting aside extra time for me, not to mention the gifts that he’s been orchestrating that I don’t know about yet. I haven’t exercised at all and I’ve eaten a lot of ice cream. It’s definitely a week I will remember for a long time.

    I have today off work, but I plan to spend the bulk of it doing chores and errands. I simply won’t be able to relax otherwise, and I know how much happier and calmer I’ll be once it’s all finished. Then at the end of the day I get to go to my parents’ house for a mom-cooked meal, which somehow always makes things better.

    I love being 28. I am in love with my life. Just, every once in awhile it would be nice to go back to being a baby with cake in my hair.