Well, There’s A Confidence Booster

So, yesterday I was feeling reeeaally blah. I felt like my head was in a fog. Maybe it was a hangover from the steak, mashed potatos, salad, and ice cream I ate for Easter lunch and the ham, scalloped potatos, bread, and strawberry shortcake I ate for Easter dinner. Whatever the reason, I was feeling oddly incompetent. I emailed David and told him, “I feel like I am about to make a mistake at any moment and get yelled at.” I didn’t, that I KNOW of, but it was a rough day nonetheless.

Today my director came up to me and asked, “Have you heard of the nurse’s gala that’s coming up?”

“Yes, I’ve seen the emails.”

“Were you planning on going?”

“No, I wasn’t planning on it.” (I’m not in the habit of attending galas.)

“Well, would you please plan on it?”

“OK…”

From here on I asked her several questions about the gala. Apparently it is a formal banquet with live music and some presentations. It’s free, and when the boss asks you to do something, it is wise to make an effort to do so. So, why not? I know she’s grooming me to be a leader, so I figured she wanted my name and face to get out there to represent our unit.

A few minutes later I told Pat, my mentor, about the exchange. She mentioned that maybe I will be receiving an award. What? I didn’t even know the gala was for awards. I don’t read the emails thoroughly. Later, after talking to our director, Pat confirmed to me: I am one of three finalists for the Best New Nurse award. Out of the entire hospital! What the heck?

I’m not supposed to know that I’m nominated. I definitely might not win. But still, it’s pretty overwhelming. My hospital is HUGE. It’s completely humbling, especially after a day like yesterday where I thought to myself several times, “What am I doing here? I don’t belong here.”

But my director, my manager, and my mentor, all nurses for 40+ years, think I belong here. They think I’m pretty good at it. So I guess I’m doing OK! And anyway, it doesn’t really matter because:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. -Colossians 3:23