I can hardly believe it, but we are going to have a girl.
Before this, there have been only boys born in the Forbes family for almost seventy years. It became a joke that they were incapable of producing girls. This was repeated so often as boy after boy was born that I began to believe it.
In my head, we already had a little boy. We had a name that we both liked, I was melting over my husband’s baby pictures, and picturing them fishing together. Even though he wouldn’t say so, I knew that every man wants a boy. And my husband was terrified at the prospect of having a girl.
This past weekend he and I went to my friend Sara’s house for dinner. I get to see her at book club, but we don’t usually hang out as couples. Sara has two daughters, aged almost three and one, and David hadn’t ever met them. We had a blast, and the three-year-old took such a liking to David that they ended up playing together for nearly three hours.
I was so nervous about the ultrasound appointment this morning because I wanted both a boy and a girl. I knew I would be happy and sad either way, but I mainly wanted it to be healthy. It was a long scan, as they took measurements of every little thing. All the parts were in the right place though, everything symmetrical, in the 54th percentile for size–right on. I discovered that my placenta is providing an extra cushion under my belly, which is probably why I haven’t felt any movement yet. And the slightly unusual shape of my uterus was seen, but I was assured that it wouldn’t have any effect on the pregnancy (although it might possibly increase the risk of a breech baby, but that’s still rare).
Finally, after so much buildup, the ultrasound tech told us that we were having a little girl. I asked if there was any way she could be mistaken, and she said at this point it’s hard to miss. They don’t call it based on the absence of boy parts, but they actually have to see girl parts. The parts were obvious.
As she continued to get measurements, I surprised myself as tears began welling up in my eyes and then silently sliding down my face. In that moment I said goodbye to my little boy and all the plans we had for him. I didn’t realize how deeply I had felt that we were going to have a boy until we were having a girl.
I looked over at David and he had a shocked look on his face, but his mouth had a slight upturn to it. He saw my tears and immediately grabbed my hand and kissed me. He told me that he was so happy, that she would be his little girl, and he would take her fishing anyway. He said that God had us go to my friend Sara’s house for a reason, to show him that girls are fun and not so scary after all.
I recovered myself, finished out the appointment, and now it’s started to sink in a little bit. I love being able to say “she” and “her” when I’m talking about my baby. A whole new world of names has opened up to me that I never considered before. I get to look forward to adorable clothes and fixing her hair and most of all, teaching a little girl how to be a woman. I can hardly wait.
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