on having a girl

March 2, 2011

I can hardly believe it, but we are going to have a girl.

Before this, there have been only boys born in the Forbes family for almost seventy years. It became a joke that they were incapable of producing girls. This was repeated so often as boy after boy was born that I began to believe it.

In my head, we already had a little boy. We had a name that we both liked, I was melting over my husband’s baby pictures, and picturing them fishing together. Even though he wouldn’t say so, I knew that every man wants a boy. And my husband was terrified at the prospect of having a girl.

This past weekend he and I went to my friend Sara’s house for dinner. I get to see her at book club, but we don’t usually hang out as couples. Sara has two daughters, aged almost three and one, and David hadn’t ever met them. We had a blast, and the three-year-old took such a liking to David that they ended up playing together for nearly three hours.

I was so nervous about the ultrasound appointment this morning because I wanted both a boy and a girl. I knew I would be happy and sad either way, but I mainly wanted it to be healthy. It was a long scan, as they took measurements of every little thing. All the parts were in the right place though, everything symmetrical, in the 54th percentile for size–right on. I discovered that my placenta is providing an extra cushion under my belly, which is probably why I haven’t felt any movement yet. And the slightly unusual shape of my uterus was seen, but I was assured that it wouldn’t have any effect on the pregnancy (although it might possibly increase the risk of a breech baby, but that’s still rare).

Finally, after so much buildup, the ultrasound tech told us that we were having a little girl. I asked if there was any way she could be mistaken, and she said at this point it’s hard to miss. They don’t call it based on the absence of boy parts, but they actually have to see girl parts. The parts were obvious.

As she continued to get measurements, I surprised myself as tears began welling up in my eyes and then silently sliding down my face. In that moment I said goodbye to my little boy and all the plans we had for him. I didn’t realize how deeply I had felt that we were going to have a boy until we were having a girl.

I looked over at David and he had a shocked look on his face, but his mouth had a slight upturn to it. He saw my tears and immediately grabbed my hand and kissed me. He told me that he was so happy, that she would be his little girl, and he would take her fishing anyway. He said that God had us go to my friend Sara’s house for a reason, to show him that girls are fun and not so scary after all.

I recovered myself, finished out the appointment, and now it’s started to sink in a little bit. I love being able to say “she” and “her” when I’m talking about my baby. A whole new world of names has opened up to me that I never considered before. I get to look forward to adorable clothes and fixing her hair and most of all, teaching a little girl how to be a woman. I can hardly wait.

Posted in: motherhood, motherhood, pregnancy

Comments on on having a girl

  1. 1

    From Nora:

    The last two paragraphs totally made me cry. What a beautiful post; congratulations again. I’m so excited for you both :) (Also, so glad she is healthy and all is going well for you!)

  2. 2

    From Spring:

    Aw, yay! Also, girls can carry off much more unique names than boys can. So fun!

  3. 3

    From steph anne:

    Aw, I can hardly wait for you both to have her come! :)

  4. 4

    From Holly:

    Congratulations!!! I only have a boy but my sister has two girls – girl clothes are so much more fun to shop for :)

  5. 5

    From Chelsea:

    …and I just cried at work.

    So many congrats. So so so so so many. I’m scared of girls too, so if I ever have an u/s that shows girls parts, will you tell me how wonderful they are and how not scary they are?

  6. 6

    From Becky:

    Congratulations!!! So excited for you two!

  7. 7

    From San:

    Oh, I am so incredibly happy for you, Kathleen. You’re going to be wonderful parents and David will love his little girl!!! :)

  8. 8

    From Marlena:

    Gah this made me all teary! She can and WILL so go fishing with her Daddy. That’s even sweeter. :-)

  9. 9

    From laura:

    I just cried at work, too! I am terrified of having a girl one day, but so incredibly excited for you guys! You are going to be such a great mom!

  10. 10

    From nic:

    Ok, I squealed a little when I saw your title! I can’t believe there’s going to be a baby girl Forbes! So much fun!! You and David are going to be just the best mama and daddy to HER. Yay!

  11. 11

    From Taryn:

    I’m so excited for you guys!! I only know about raising a girl for 3 weeks so far, but I can tell you her diaper changes are MUCH easier than our boy’s. And since I spend 3/4 of every day changing diapers, I’ve really appreciated that :-) I can’t wait to hear her name!

  12. 12

    From Megan:

    OF COURSE God would select you and David to be the bearers of a girl into the Forbes’ family. Yay! I am thrilled. (I was secretly hoping this for you guys… can you imagine how great David is going to be for a little girl?!) So happy for you both!

  13. 13

    From Sarah S:

    Congrats! Everyone says girl clothing is way cuter and the diaper changes are way safer.

  14. 14

    From Kim Forbes:

    I am so excited that I get be the aunt of a sweet little princess! She is going to be such a wonderful addition to this family. I am so happy that everything is going well for my niece in your belly …yay I just said niece never expected that in this family. Congrats and shopping here I come.

  15. 15

    From Stephany:

    I am so happy for you and David. How fun! A little girl! I’ve always wanted girls. They’re just so much fun! I think sometimes girls get a bad rap ;) (Plus, it will make shopping so much easier. Target is about 4:1 of girls clothes to boys clothes, ha!)

  16. 16

    From Tabaitha:

    Beyond thrilled for you and David! I completely understand the feeling you wrote about regarding saying goodbye to your boy. It’s so hard, but yet so beautiful. It’s so neat to know her first love will be her Daddy and that she has you as her mom. You are going to be a terrific Mommy and she will have no problem growing into a woman because you have already set the perfect example. Congratulations!

  17. 17

    From Cait:

    This is so incredibly sweet. Congratulations!

  18. 18

    From Amber from Girl with the Red Hair:

    Awww what a beautiful post. I have goosebumps.

    Congratulations Kathleen. I’m so excited for you and David :)

  19. 19

    From Ro Manalo:

    You’re having a girl! I am so excited for you! :)

  20. 20

    From Marchar Stagg:

    I am so excited for you guys! I was hoping for a little girl. I can’t wait to start shopping!!

  21. 21

    From Uncle David:

    Congratulations my niece. I had my fingers crossed for a little girl so blame it on me. Every week at church we have a children’s sermon and they all come to the front and the little girls are adorable. Lots of ruffles and bows. You are going to love her, as we all will.

  22. 22

    From David:

    …and I can’t wait for her to come to Uncle David’s house where she won’t learn shopping, but how important a fat nose tackle is to a 3-4 defense!

  23. 23

    From Marchar Stagg:

    Now we’ll have two Uncle Davids :>)

  24. 24

    From Elizabeth:

    I was stunned when we found out Hannah was a girl–I had convinced myself she was a boy too, to the extent that I chose a gender neutral outfit for her coming home *just in case*.

    I’m so excited for you!

  25. 25

    From Emily Andrews:

    You made me cry! I love you, Kathleen!

  26. 26

    From Mindy:

    Congratulations! She is going to have so much fun with both of you :)

  27. 27

    From Kyla Roma:

    Oh my gosh, seventy years?? That’s amazing- congratulations on your daughter and on bucking the family trend! :)

  28. 28

    From Nikki Hanley:

    Congratulations! She’ll be a beautiful perfect little angel, I’m so happy for you!

  29. 29

    From Jessica:

    Congrats on having a girl! I’m so happy for you guys. Cheers!

  30. 30

    From mediumcrazy:

    Congratulations on your news! Nothing sweeter in life than a little girl.

  31. 31

    From alisa beth:

    Fun! I totally understand what you mean about being happy and sad either way. When we found out we were expecting, we were dead-set on not finding out. We wanted to be surprised at the moment of birth AND I just knew I’d be disappointed either way if we found out early because I wanted both a girl AND a boy (but definitely NOT at the same time!). But, midway through our 20 week scan, when I saw the baby moving around inside, I changed my mind and just had to know who this little person was inside. Finding out was such a special, unexpected gift! Like you mention, it’s great now to refer to the baby as she and her, isn’t it? You will have LOTS of fun in the little girls department for sure! Congratulations!

  32. 32

    From Emily Jane:

    Oh my goodness, I pretty much just started tearing up right here at work. I am so thrilled for you guys!!

  33. 33

    From LG:

    Oh that’s so wonderful!!! Girls are great. :0) What a thing to wrap your heads around, after so many boys in your family!

  34. 34

    From Glam-O-Mommy:

    Congratulations to you and your husband! I, too, had thought I was having a boy and everyone told me I was carrying like I was having a boy and in my mind, I’d been calling the baby by the boy name I like, so I was in shock when we found out we were having a girl! But then, by the time I called my Dad and told him we were having a little girl, it became so real and I just cried with happiness. Now, almost three years later, I can’t imagine it any other way…my daughter is so fun! And my husband, who I wasn’t sure would do well with a girl, was wrapped around her finger from day one, and they take nature walks and play with hockey sticks and shoot basketballs together, and it’s totally adorable. Good luck picking out a girl name and congratulations again!

  35. 35

    From E.P.:

    This post makes my heart swell for y’all! What an exciting time for you and for learning that you are having a little girl! What a blessing!

  36. 36

    From Sara K:

    Tears are streaming down my face as I type this. I am so glad that David’s time with Rory helped him to realize that girls are wonderful, not scary. It really was perfect timing. Also, the way you described the feeling of loss of a boy and acceptance of a girl was something I had felt but had never put into words. I think it’s probably that way for everyone. Except for a woman pregnant with twins, one of each sex. Ha!

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