So I cried at work yesterday. A lot. It was ugly. I tried to pull myself together in the bathroom but someone even came knocking on the door to make sure I was okay. And then I kept crying off and on for about an hour and just could not stop it. My mascara was gone and my eyes were puffy. I hope I didn’t scare anyone.
The deal was, I had a rude patient. Rationally I knew that it was nothing personal to me (because I hadn’t done anything wrong and was nothing but nice) and I dug deep for sympathy and understanding because I know she is in a beyond stressful situation. Anything I told myself didn’t help though; I just kept crying. So embarrassing.
Happy ending though! Today she emailed the doctor’s office and asked them to tell me that she thinks I’m an excellent nurse and she knows she gave me a hard time yesterday. It’s the closest to an apology I’m likely to get so I’ll take it.
Also, last night I cooked dinner. Made BBQ beef taquitos and they were good. I also finally made the breakfast sandwiches I’d been meaning to and they were also good, so double win there. And I showered! And bathed Meredith! I am a domestic goddess!
I need to switch subjects real quick because I am having a hard time with my book club book, Flight Behavior by Barbara Kingsolver and I just have to talk about it. The first problem I’m having is that I’ve been reading A Clash of Kings (which is the second in the Game of Thrones series) and I’m totally addicted to it and I’m to the last hundred pages and it’s fast-paced and all I want to do is finish it. So I’m kind of resentful of any book that interrupts that right now. Also, apparently this book is about climate change, and even if I was passionate about that subject I’m skeptical that it will make for an interesting story. Currently I’m only two chapters in and there’s been a lot about the difficulties of farming and I don’t know, it’s not grabbing me. And I have to finish it by Sunday! Sigh.
Anyway. I go to the doctor for a checkup tomorrow. Praying that all is well in the baby department.
From Nora:
Will be thinking of you tomorrow; I hope all goes well at the doc.
Those breakfast sandwiches look delicious and are making my mouth water right now :)
From rachieannie:
You are a domestic goddess! Super impressed that you not only made supper but extra food too! And showering is hard work, so go you! My husband doesn’t understand why I always make a fuss about showering, but man some days it’s just too much.
From Sara:
I have shed my share of tears from patient encounters and I don’t have pregnancy hormones to blame for uncontrollable crying! Sometimes it’s hard not to take it personally when you have a demanding patient. I always remind myself that they may be living a very sad, challenging, and difficult reality, but it is not an excuse to be rude to people nor is it appropriate for them to be abusive to care providers under any circumstances. I know that doesn’t help, but I have a hard time excusing rudeness simply because you are dealing with Tough Stuff. For the record, I worked in oncology as a social worker, have worked in a hospital (the ultimate time for crisis and raw/unstable emotions), and currently work in a dialysis clinic. I have seen some deeply sad things over the years, and I have never, ever been okay with any sort of patient abuse (verbal or otherwise). I can understand where it is coming from and rationalize the behavior all day, but I do not tolerate it as a reason to beat up others.
From Sarah:
Thinking of you! I felt like the pregnancy hormones kicked in way earlier with my second pregnancy, and I hated getting so emotional about things when I knew it didn’t make any rational sense. I’m sorry you had to deal with a rude patient, though — that is no way to treat you even if they are in a stressful situation.