welcome to my inner monologue

I recently saw this picture of a drawing of what’s on one mom’s mind and thought YES. So this morning as I got ready for work I literally recorded my thoughts on the voice app in my phone, and transcribed them for you. I could have kept going and going but I had to cut myself off somewhere. Welcome to the madness:

Should I join a yoga studio? Do the kids watch too much TV? Should I have another baby? Should we get bunk beds for the kids? Should we get them from IKEA? When should we buy them? Should I wait until after my Lent spending freeze? Or wait until Meredith’s 5th birthday? How will I get them to sleep in their own beds all night? I’m definitely going to paint the living room white. Should I do that now and a little bit at a time? Or should I wait until after I finish decorating my room and the kids’ room? How do you paint wood paneling? I need to look that up.

Should I blog today? How am I going to find time to write? Gosh I wish the kids would go to bed on their own so I could have time with David afterwards, or time to write, or whatever. Ooh, I really need to finish Bel Canto by this weekend. It’s so good. I picture the opera singer as Sharleen Joynt from The Bachelor. I wish I could watch The Bachelor with David again.

If I’m going to have a baby, then this is a good year to do it. I’m already 34 and I wouldn’t be high risk yet. Should it be our last baby? Should we even have one? I have two siblings, David has two siblings. Three seems like a good number, but then there’s a middle child. It’s going to be a scheduled C-section. She could fix my scar.

What are we going to have for dinner tonight? Oh yeah, we still have a lot of leftovers. Good. Hmm I’m almost out of my tinted moisturizer. Maybe I should have a Facebook Beautycounter party and get some more through that. I really need to trim my nails. I’m so glad we got the cats, the kids love them. Meredith is so cute with Ziggy. Even though the litter is really annoying. I really want a Litter Robot. But I also really want a new couch and chair for the living room. But I also really want to pay off our debt as fast as we can. If we have another baby that means more daycare costs. But Meredith IS going to kindergarten next year, so that will save us some. I wonder when kindergarten registration is? If I have another baby, what hospital would I deliver at?

Ooh, yoga is today, can’t forget my clothes. Today is the last yoga class with my favorite teacher. I wonder if it would be worth the money to join a studio? Or maybe I should figure out a different way to exercise. I’ve got to get back in shape. How am I going to do that, plus work and read and craft and blog? I wish I could put more effort into that stuff. Maybe I should try the 21 day fix. I need to make a plan.

I’ve GOT to get to work on time, I need all the hours I can get. Gosh mornings are hard, and they used to be my favorite. I wonder how busy work is going to be today? Are we going to be able to get an IV in that guy? He’s a really hard stick. Tomorrow I’m probably going to have to audit charts again. At least I hope they have work for me. I wish I could afford to work part-time. There’s so much creatively and at home that I want to do. What am I thinking, wanting to have another baby?

It’s exhausting to be me. Can anyone relate??