Category: personal

the “perfect” photo

In Texas in spring the wildflowers pop up everywhere and people rush out to the sides of the highway to sit in the bluebonnets and take pictures. It’s a thing. Some people get awesome professional photos taken in them, but here am I with my cranky toddler, bobblehead infant, and my iPhone camera trying to force the perfect bluebonnet photo.

I had just interrupted Meredith’s late-to-being-with nap for these. Told her to hold Liam in her lap so hold him she did.

It was windy.

In attempting to get artistic I didn’t even notice my finger over the lens.

They got tired and wanted to lie down. (Also, we didn’t smoosh the bluebonnets, they were already like that.)

So then I gave the camera to my mom and reluctantly jumped in there. Meredith decided to start being silly, poking her eyes. Lovely shot of the freeway in the background, too.

Poking his eyes.

And a kiss.

Hey, here’s a decent-ish one. But what I really wanted was more photos of just the kids, so I bribed Meredith with ice cream to sit with Liam in her lap one more time.

She is struggling under all of his massive weight, so I laid him down on her lap and she was happier.

Yeah, this is the best we could do.

I don’t really care that we didn’t get a great bluebonnet photo, because these tell the story of what that afternoon was really like. It was still a great memory. :)

April 15, 2014
around here // momming up

As a mother I have moments like everyone where I feel completely underwater, where I can’t keep up, can’t manage all that I have to do, make a wrong decision, lose my cool, etc. But then there are days where I totally rise to the demands of my family, my household, and myself. When I know that things are just going to be crazy for awhile I tell myself to “mom up.” Things have to be done and there isn’t any use dwelling on it, so I do what I need to do.

Recovering from Liam’s hospital visit was one of those crazy times. Our routine was totally off. Meredith was needy and cranky after two days hardly seeing me. Liam needed breathing treatments, antibiotics (how annoying is it to give babies medicine, by the way?), to nurse and be held and changed. Our dog continues to have nightly panic attacks and needs twice daily medication as well as behavioral attention. I had to coordinate doctor’s visits and daycare and work.

One day at bedtime I took a minute to reflect on all that I accomplished that day and I was proud. I had done my daily Bible study. I packed lunches for David and myself. I had given all medications and breathing treatments. I had gotten Meredith to daycare and Liam to my mom’s house and made it to work on time. I treated my patients with no problems and so far have a 100% success rate with IV starts at my new job. I blogged. I did yoga. I cooked dinner (with Meredith’s “help”) and we all sat down and ate as a family. David and I cleaned the kitchen and gave the kids baths. Exhausted, I went to bed with my two littles around 9 p.m.

The thing about “momming up” is that there usually isn’t a break after you get through whatever crazy thing it is. Life keeps happening and no one is going to give you a raise or a promotion. Right after that super productive day I described, I had a sleepless night because of coughing and a panicking dog. I got barfed on by the baby at 2:30 a.m. and then had to clean up what seemed like a gallon’s worth of dog puke before going to work. That evening both kids cried nearly constantly until they were asleep. I almost cried myself a couple times during all that, but I was able to get it together and do one thing at a time until everything got done. I made it. And I’m going to keep making it.

p.s. I’m writing this from my perspective but I’m sure dads go through something similar, and I know it would be extremely difficult for me to do all that I do without the loving support of my husband!

April 11, 2014
currently

returning to our routine after last week’s hospital visit.

learning to administer nebulizers to a baby, and praying he doesn’t develop asthma as a result of this RSV.

coughing up a storm.

grateful for my short commute (as I am everyday…I don’t know if the excitement over it will ever wear off).

sleeping poorly still; between my sore throat, Liam’s coughing, and our dog, something is always waking me up.

drinking two cups of coffee per day.

contemplating posting to the blog five days a week; I’m very inspired right now but I’m not convinced I could maintain it in the future.

spending my downtime at work (which is a lot) taking continuing education classes.

preparing to press my quilt rows and sew them together.

reading Allegiant.

listening to podcasts while I run, specifically catching up on One Bad Mother.

enjoying the break from life that running gives me, even though I’m pretty out of shape.

wanting to incorporate yoga into my routine on my off days to stretch my muscles.

finding that meal planning & cooking dinners isn’t so hard after all.

interested in trying a paint by number kit.

wondering if I’ll be able to kill all the grass that has overgrown my garden in time to plant next year.

thinking that I’m just going to start hanging things on our bedroom wall without planning it out first.

April 8, 2014
around here

This is the week that I went back to work, obviously. A few more hours and I’ve survived! Yesterday and today I’ve been on my new unit and I’m loving it, but my body is not used to all this activity yet so I’m pretty tired. Add to that the fact that I’ve started exercising (running and yoga so far) and our dog’s middle-of-the-night panic attacks have ramped up, and I just might sleep all weekend.

I’m still keeping up with Project Life so far, and last weekend I started a new cross stitch, a winter sampler and my first time to stitch on linen and with hand-dyed floss. Loving both. Plugging away at the quilt, too. It’s great that I can just do a piece or two at a time when I have a few minutes to spare. We’ve also been taking walks anytime it’s nice outside.

Last night my goal was to get us in bed earlier than 10, and we made it around 9. Meredith woke up on her own this morning, and although there was still a minor tantrum regarding what clothes to wear (predictably), overall she was much happier and easier to get out the door.

Still trying out the bullet journal, and so far I like the hybrid paper/digital approach I’ve adopted. We got new blinds installed in our bedroom recently so now I want to get the dresser decorated and then I can share photos of our progress there. I want to make a cute table runner to go on top. I also decided today that I want to turn one of our empty flower beds in the backyard into a wildflower/cutting garden. Any tips on that?

This weekend I plan to cuddle my baby, do a little exercise, and maybe craft a little. Apart from that it’ll just be relaxing and prepping for another week ahead. Happy Friday!

March 28, 2014
back to work observations

>First of all, this is good. Aside from orientation being super boring for me since it’s just a review and involves a lot of sitting, I really like the new hospital and I LOVE the commute, which is about 15-20 minutes in the morning and half that in the afternoon. This is literally life-changing.

>Liam has been a champ at daycare. He sleeps, he chugs his bottles (about 16 oz a day so far), he takes a pacifier if needed, he only fusses when he wakes up, and they haven’t had any trouble with his cloth diapers.

>Pumping. Ugh. Apart from leaving my baby, it’s the worst part of being a working mom for me. I totally forgot all the ins and outs of it and my first day back I was a bit unprepared. But now I’m bringing all the things I need, and as a bonus there is a really nice lactation room to use.

>I need to bring snacks. A nursing mama is a hungry mama.

>Right now getting all the stuff ready to go in the mornings is the most stressful part of my day. I know I’ll get my routines down and it will get better though. I need to do as much as I can in the evenings.

>Also waking Meredith up in the morning now is like waking up a teenager. She moans and groans and eventually I just start undressing her in the bed.

>I’m adding three routines to my days that I was never really able to do before: daily Bible study (mornings before anyone else is up), exercise (first thing when I get home from work – although I’m soooo tempted to just go pick up the kids at this time, but this is something I need to do for me), and cooking dinner (as soon as I’m done exercising, and David will help with the kids). It is all totally doable, so now it’s up to me to have the discipline to follow through.

>The sad part is that after only two days I already feel a lot less connected to Liam. When I dropped him off today it was a lot harder than the first two days because I really miss him. The evenings so far are hectic with getting dinner on the table, entertaining a toddler, and trying to get to bed on time, so there isn’t time for me to just enjoy him. I hope the weekends fill my cup of baby time.

March 26, 2014