My husband talks in his sleep sometimes when I’m waking him up, and it’s awesome. Here’s a sample of some things he’s said lately.
***
On a Saturday when he was going in to work
Me: What time do you want me to get you up?
Him: Get me up for the gay pride parade. That’s when I need the most help.
***
Me: Time to get up, love.
Him: You SAID I had 48 hours.
***
Him: Did you see that profile?
Me: Profile for what?
Him: The magazine.
Me: You’re doing a profile for a magazine?
Him: I thought you were writing one on me.
Me: What magazine?
Him: Hustler.
***
Me: Time to get up, love.
Him: I thought you were going to do the ratings.
Me: what ratings?
Him: The quarterback ratings.
Me: I’m in charge of the quarterback ratings?
Him: Well not in charge of them but you promote…(unintelligible mumblings)
Me: I promote what?
Him: I thought about Meredith being a star athlete.
Me: A quarterback?
Him: On a men’s team, if she can get a sex change operation.
***
Him: That’s a pretty cool name for your girl group, I like it.
Me: Oh yeah? What’s our name?
Him: Untraceable.
Me: So are we a super secret spy group?
Him: No you have math stuff like compasses…
Me : (disappointed) So we’re a girl math club?
Him: But you rock. You’re a rock band that sings about math.
***
Find the first in this series here.
From Kelly Glass:
oh my gosh!! I read these aloud the to my husband this morning and we laughed so hard! I almost cried! haha. I wish my husband talked in his sleep, that’s some seriously entertaining stuff!
From Sara:
These are better (funnier) than the first installment. Seriously, you cannot make up this kind of material!
From Elizabeth:
Hysterical!! Don’t you wish you had a soundtrack of his dreams?
From Nora:
OH MY GOODNESS. These literally made me laugh out loud, so thank you. It is hard to pick a favorite out of these :)
From Sarah:
Those are fantastic. I’m pretty sure I say crazy stuff like that when I’m awakened suddenly in the middle of the night (which happens pretty regularly with a small child!) It is always so confusing to my husband! But he loves teasing me about it in the morning.
From Ti:
Too good. I LOLed! :)