sleep conversations, vol. 2

March 28, 2013

My husband talks in his sleep sometimes when I’m waking him up, and it’s awesome. Here’s a sample of some things he’s said lately.


On a Saturday when he was going in to work

Me: What time do you want me to get you up?

Him: Get me up for the gay pride parade. That’s when I need the most help.


Me: Time to get up, love.

Him: You SAID I had 48 hours.


Him: Did you see that profile?

Me: Profile for what?

Him: The magazine.

Me: You’re doing a profile for a magazine?

Him: I thought you were writing one on me.

Me: What magazine?

Him: Hustler.


Me: Time to get up, love.

Him: I thought you were going to do the ratings.

Me: what ratings?

Him: The quarterback ratings.

Me: I’m in charge of the quarterback ratings?

Him: Well not in charge of them but you promote…(unintelligible mumblings)

Me: I promote what?

Him: I thought about Meredith being a star athlete.

Me: A quarterback?

Him: On a men’s team, if she can get a sex change operation.


Him: That’s a pretty cool name for your girl group, I like it.

Me: Oh yeah? What’s our name?

Him: Untraceable.

Me: So are we a super secret spy group?

Him: No you have math stuff like compasses…

Me : (disappointed) So we’re a girl math club?

Him: But you rock. You’re a rock band that sings about math.


Find the first in this series here.

Posted in: personal, conversations, personal

Comments on sleep conversations, vol. 2

  1. 1

    From Kelly Glass:

    oh my gosh!! I read these aloud the to my husband this morning and we laughed so hard! I almost cried! haha. I wish my husband talked in his sleep, that’s some seriously entertaining stuff!

  2. 2

    From Sara:

    These are better (funnier) than the first installment. Seriously, you cannot make up this kind of material!

  3. 3

    From Elizabeth:

    Hysterical!! Don’t you wish you had a soundtrack of his dreams?

  4. 4

    From Nora:

    OH MY GOODNESS. These literally made me laugh out loud, so thank you. It is hard to pick a favorite out of these :)

  5. 5

    From Sarah:

    Those are fantastic. I’m pretty sure I say crazy stuff like that when I’m awakened suddenly in the middle of the night (which happens pretty regularly with a small child!) It is always so confusing to my husband! But he loves teasing me about it in the morning.

  6. 6

    From Ti:

    Too good. I LOLed! :)

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