kapachino

Tag: nursing

  • Catching Up

    Hey friends! I’ve been AWOL for awhile again, so since I have the day off I figured it was a good time to let you know what’s been going on.

    David and I are still looking for a house to buy. I really want one in an established neighborhood with trees and an either side-entry or detached garage. And we’re looking in a certain area of town, in a certain price range, so it is proving to be a little difficult. We’re trying to be patient though, because we want to buy one we really love!

    In the meantime, we have moved in with a friend of the family who goes to our church. Her children are just a little bit younger than us, and are both moved out. She has graciously offered us her large upstairs bedroom with its HUGE closet! We have a lot of space and privacy here, and it’s a great location. We have been so blessed by this, and it is allowing us to save up a lot of money to put towards the house and moving costs.

    Work has been kind of rough this week. After a relaxing weekend off, I came back Monday and had the absolute worst day of my short career. I had very needy patients, tons of medications to give, two discharges, an admission, not to mention all the regular charting and routine care. All of that was bad enough, but because I was worn so thin and ragged, I ended up making a couple of mistakes. The first one wasn’t too big of a deal, but I still had to write myself up. The second one happened right at the end of my shift, caused me to stay late, and someone else caught it and wrote me up, all the while speaking to me in a very patronizing manner. I felt completely incompetent. I had to work so hard not to cry until I got home. It’s hard to recover from a day like that, but I’m doing my best.

    I finished reading the whole Twilight saga, and then I read Midnight Sun, the unfinished online novel which is Twilight from Edward’s perspective. I wanted to immediately start re-reading Twilight, but I let a friend borrow it. What to do until the movie comes out next week? Watch trailers, read articles, and listen to the soundtrack, I suppose.

    I recently read an interview with Anne Rice, the writer of (among other things) Interview With a Vampire. She now writes about her newfound Christian faith, but she doesn’t repudiate any of her previous works. When she was asked about this she replied, “The supernatural world has always been more real to me than the real world. I feel a great surge of energy when I acknowledge that there is a world beyond this one…. My old novels and characters were sincerely created and deeply felt, and also I think these novels and characters are complex and these novels mirror a pathway to Christ. I think they retain tremendous value for readers, especially young readers who may not be willing to pick up a book about Christianity. There is a moral compass in these novels, and the grief for a lost faith, and the search for redemption — these are the main themes. I remain a believer in them, though they are partial and flawed.”

    I really like the way she put that. Sometimes I feel that I need to defend my love for fantasy and the supernatural, as if I’m not satisfied with reality and my own life. I love my life, though. I just feel a deep yearning for more, which I believe I was created for.

  • Ugh

    I was in an elderly patient’s room this morning giving her medications. She was complaining to me about how she drank her coffee too hot and it burned her tongue. Then she asked me, “Will you brush my teeth? Maybe that will help it feel better.”

    “Of course,” I replied, since she has difficulty caring for herself. So I went into the bathroom, got her toothbrush and toothpaste, then came back to the bedside.

    She had popped her dentures out and handed them to me. Was not expecting that one. Aaaand, that is another activity I can add to the list of Things About Nursing That Make Me Gag.

    P.S. I still love my job.

  • Contrasts

    I just got a call at work today from the husband of a woman I took care of almost every day for a month, who we sent to hospice last week. She passed away this morning, only 43 years old.

    I’m so glad she’s not in pain anymore, but I keep picturing her husband at her bedside, sweetly taking care of her. One time I came in the room to see her sleeping, but propped up on the table in front of her was a card that said “Honey” on it for her to read when she woke up, while he sat and watched over her. He doted on her.

    And I’m getting married in four days and boarding a plane to Hawaii. This is life, isn’t it? I wish everyone was as happy as I am right now, but some people are very, very sad. Sometimes when I think about it, I feel guilty for not being sad too.

  • Making It

    I wish I had more time to update you, but my goodness life is a whirlwind right now. Last night I went to David’s for the evening and it was the first time we’d seen each other in four days. We watched DVDs of “The Office,” indulged in chicken fried rice, and worked on wedding favors. I really needed a night like that.

    The wedding is in eight days – wow, my heart just started pounding – and somehow I think everything is going to come together. There are still a bunch of details to get out of the way, but thankfully I have this weekend off. Although I do have to work three days next week.

    Speaking of work, it has still been really tough lately. Everyone is saying that our patients are sicker than ever, we are almost always full, and we don’t have enough nurses. Some days it feels like an ICU, except that in the ICU each nurse only has two patients, while we have four, five, sometimes even six. At the beginning of this week one of my patients died who I’d been with for three months. Yesterday another one I’d become attached to was transferred to hospice. She was in so much pain that she couldn’t even concentrate to say goodbye.

    My days “off” right now are not restful; they are chock full of errands and tasks to complete. Here is what I did on my last day off, Tuesday, for example:

    • Final gown fitting
    • Pick up ring
    • Pharmacy
    • Buy makeup
    • Work on favors
    • Haircut and updo trial run

    Not to mention that the traffic since Ike has been exponentially worse than ever due to many stoplights being out and free tollways. Sooo…

    All this to say that I can really use a vacation. Luckily I have one coming up!

  • My First Hurricane

    When I was younger and I first learned that my mom had lived through a hurricane, I was in awe. I couldn’t believe she had survived. I think that in my mind, hurricanes were more like massive tornados.

    Nowadays, we have hurricanes in the gulf like every other week. If one comes our way, to most people my age it is an excuse to get off work and have a hurricane party. Unfortunately, if you work in a hospital that is not the case.

    I’m a member of the “ride-out” team on my unit, which meant that when I went to work on Friday, I packed a suitcase and wasn’t allowed to leave. I was told that I had to work a 12-hour shift, which I am not used to. Ordinarily, around 3:30 p.m. I would have been leaving the hospital for a weekend’s break (considering I worked last weekend and have to work next weekend). Around 4:30 p.m., still working, I said offhand, “Whew. Now I remember why I don’t work 12-hour shifts.” The 60-something year-old nurse walking by then asked me, “And how old are you? Honey, suck it up. I’m at least 30 years older than you!” Another lady walking by said, “They just don’t make ’em like they used to.” When I mentioned this exchange to David, he said, “Did you tell them, ‘You don’t understand, I get tired a lot?’” I think he was making fun of me too. Whatever.

    I made it through my shift, then went down to the cafeteria to eat with some of my fellow nurses (including the 60-something year-old nurse who I’m really quite fond of and calls herself the grandma). It was during this meal that I was enlightened to a whole lot of unit gossip and history that I was unaware of. Stuff that I will NEVER share with the internet, no matter how interesting it is.

    I was pretty much beat after dinner, so I headed to bed. I was lucky that I actually had a bed to sleep in. I shared an unoccupied hospital room with another nurse from my unit:

    We just got new mattresses on the beds, too. I had felt them with my hand and they felt pretty nice, but let me tell you that sleeping on them was a different story.

    There were exactly two positive things about sleeping at the hospital: 1) I got paid for the entire time I was there, and 2) the commute was significantly easier than usual. In the morning I took a measly shower, threw my hair up in a wet bun, and walked down the hall to begin what I thought would be another long shift.

    I was starting to go crazy being trapped in that place, and I really didn’t want to stay another night there. Thankfully, someone from the recovery team was able to make it in. I gave everyone my biggest puppy dog eyes and made noises about how this was already my 5th day to work, and I’m getting married in three weeks and have a lot of work to do, blah blah blah, and they let me go home! Of course, the precondition to that was that I promised to come back for my regular shift on Monday.

    Main Street, right outside the medical center, on my drive home:

    I drove straight to David’s house, where his whole family and some friends were gathered because his was the only house in the area with power. I collapsed on the couch. After dinner, back on the couch, I was falling asleep and David made me decided I should go home before dark. At home, I went straight to my bed around 8:30 p.m., and slept hard for about 11 hours. I feel so much better today.

    Apparently it stormed pretty bad last night. I thought the worst was over, but this morning our streets were flooded and we discovered more leaks in our roof. We took a walk after things started to get better.

    The view from our front yard, after the water began to recede:

    Cleo and I on our rain walk:

    So I’m just hanging out today, wondering if I’ll even be able to make it to work in the morning. I’m hoping not, due to the flooding and the curfew, but I’m not getting my hopes up. My thoughts on the whole ordeal? Hurricanes are not fun, and I hope this is our last one for a long time.