“church parking only: violaters will be baptized”

September 30, 2007

When I lived with my parents, there was a church that we would frequently drive by which had a sign out front and its contents were constantly changing. My brothers and I loved it because the sayings were always something funny, witty, or weird. The signs were so creative that my brother David and his friend decided to start naming their songs after it. That’s how they ended up with a song called, “Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones But Words Form Sentences.”

I was extremely pleased to discover that my new apartment complex (which I have lived in for a few months now) is situated right next to a church with a sign out front which changes weekly. The sayings aren’t quite as funny as the last church–in fact they’re sometimes plain cheesy–but it works for me. So I have diligently recorded the last two months of sayings for you, just in case you ever need something to fill up the space on your own church sign:

“‘In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity’ –Albert Einstein”

“A liar needs a good memory.”

“It’s not your aptitude but your attitude that determines your altitude.”

“Truth is heavy, so few men can carry it!”

“Only those who are willing to fail greatly can ever succeed greatly.”

“Smooth seas do not make a skilled sailor.”

“Average people don’t want others to go beyond average.”

“A man wrapped up in himself makes a pretty small package.”

Posted in: personal, thoughts

Comments on “church parking only: violaters will be baptized”

  1. 1

    From Megan:

    I love it: few men can carry truth, but we’re not even going to mention women. After all, they only carry babies. Inside their bodies.

    I also love that women are left out of the last one, too. Plus, it’s a pretty hilarious sexual innuendo.

    I can’t wait for my own church sign! Check out http://crummychurchsigns.blogspot.com/

    I love you!

  2. 2

    From Bill:

    You are not too bad to come in. You are not too good to stay out.

  3. 3

    From David, The Rainmaker:

    My favorite one from that old church sign was “We have always never done it that way before.” The best part is, it doesn’t even have anything to do with the church.

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