Online Friendships

August 19, 2009

Gah. I have, like, 30 minutes to myself in which to produce some words for you to read here. It’s tough when my weeknights are all committed to something because then I don’t get things done at home and I don’t have the time to do the things I enjoy like blog and read and just hang out with my husband, me and him. So this isn’t very well thought out, but what’s been on my mind lately are these relationships that we forge online with each other.

I’ve been blogging for years, and even a few months ago there were very few other blogs I read that I connected to. I read blogs of personal friends (and still do) who rarely update and when they do just give a hurried summary of what’s happened in their lives since they last wrote. I read some of the popular bloggers who are great writers. But what I was looking for were more people like me: girls in their 20’s or 30’s (I’m not that far away from the next decade, after all) who love to blog regularly who I can relate to. I don’t know why, but I had a really hard time finding people like this.

I worked really hard at it, and I’m finally beginning to see a network of online friendships building. It’s a great feeling. Now I can usually find new people just by clicking through on a comment that I read somewhere. If that person looks interesting, I’ll subscribe to their blog. I’ll read it for awhile, and if I like it I’ll start commenting regularly. Usually this leads to reciprocation, which is the goal.

Most of my online friendships are still in the fledgling phase. That’s okay though, because they are growing. I can’t explain why blogging is so important to me, but it is. A lot of people go through phases where they just want to stop blogging forever. They take breaks. They go anonymous. They start new sites. I’ve had my own issues, and sometimes I feel too busy to write often, but I never want to quit. I know I’d miss it.

Posted in: blog

Comments on Online Friendships

  1. 1

    From Rae:

    This is probably going to sound coming from me since I’ve been on a bit of an unintentional blogging break, but I *hate* what you describe as “A lot of people go through phases where they just want to stop blogging forever. They take breaks. They go anonymous. They start new sites.” I know that hate is a strong word, and I should reserve it for more important things, but I get really attached to the blogs that I read faithfully. Sometimes I won’t read blogs for weeks, but then I will go through the sometimes pages of posts that have come up in the mean time to “catch up” on what I missed. And then sometimes people just drop off the internet and I feel like I lost a friend, even though I did not know the person and did not actually view them as a “friend” in the same way I do people whom I have actually met.

    Hm. Maybe I should stop this before I sound totally psychotic… suffice it to say that I am glad both that you are starting to get what you want from blogging and that you have no plans for stopping.

  2. 2

    From kapachino:

    You don’t sound psychotic! I feel the exact same way. I’ve actually been thinking about you lately, wondering where you’ve been. :) Glad you popped up here!

  3. 3

    From Lauren From Texas:

    You can count on me as a friend :) Maybe we should even try to hang out sometime! Keep up the blogging girl – oh and I just noticed you link back to me – how sweet are you?! Whenever I get around to doing a blogroll, you’ll be there. For now, I’m definitely subscribed to your RSS feed. <3

  4. 4

    From kapachino:

    That sounds good to me! And since you actually know some of my real-life friends I won’t have to worry that you are actually a creepy man elaborately faking your identity in order to meet me. :)

  5. 5

    From Krista:

    I agree! I think of you as one of my blogging friends and even though I’ve never met you I think we would be friends in real life :)

  6. 6

    From kapachino:

    Feeling’s mutual, Krista! You have no idea how much I wish I could be your training buddy!

  7. 7

    From CJ:

    It has taken awhile but I feel as if I have built up a network of some pretty awesome online friends and that is so glad you commented when I switched blogs otherwise I would have never found you ;)

    You can count me in as an avid reader of your blog…no matter how often you post!

  8. 8

    From Tabaitha Kaye:

    Girl, I love reading your blog. In the midst of the craziness, called life, you still find time to blog and I never get bored reading your posts.

  9. 9

    From Scott:

    “I read blogs of personal friends (and still do) who rarely update and when they do just give a hurried summary of what’s happened in their lives since they last wrote.”

    I wonder who that could be….

  10. 10

    From kapachino:

    It’s not anyone in particular, I promise! I’m referring to MANY of my personal friends. And I always enjoy reading their updates when they come. :)

  11. 11

    From Mindy:

    *gulp* I’m definitely in the camp of going through the “wow, I’m kind of over blogging right now!” phase… which is unfortunate, because I still look up blogs almost daily and really enjoy reading them and commenting (like I’m doing now). :) I loved starting up my “Healthy” blog because I felt like it was a place I could really journal and motivate myself in my efforts… and I did, for a time. I hope to get back to it once the little one is born! I guess I’m just wondering where I want that particular blog to go at this point, hence my silence. My original blog, which is about crafting, is also still dear to me, but I just haven’t been creating lately, hence a lack of posts. My best friends prods me constantly to get on the ball again, which I appreciate. :) I’ll get there again, hopefully soon.

    Anyway, all of this to say, the dry spells are lousy, yes, but I’m so grateful for bloggers who are consistent and thoughtful. Thanks for checking out my blog–I love to read yours!

  12. 12

    From Kelly:

    Love this post! I haven’t been blogging long, and I’m not sure what I expected, but I really didn’t expect to find such a great network of other bloggers. Good for you for adding the links page (I’ve been wanting to, but too darn lazy). I know when I find a blog I love, I will look to see what they are reading. Chances are, it’s something I will like too.

  13. 13

    From mediumcrazy:

    I love when I read something and think, “Yes, THAT’S what I’ve been thinking about but didn’t know how to say!” Which is how I felt reading your post. I’ve been seeking out exactly the same thing online and looking to commenters to find some other sites, which I how I came across yours (via Lauren from Texas!). Looking forward to digging through your stuff…and please stop by my site! :)

  14. 14

    From DeMo:

    I agree that it does take effort to get a good network going. I’ve been maturely blogging (I say “maturely” b/c my xanga was worthless to the blogging community) and I’m finding that it’s lots of fun to see how other bloggers are connected, and find all kinds of resources and links. I enjoy reading your blog and I’m honored to be in your links list! :)

  15. 15

    From Chelsea:

    I love blog friends!! You’re so right. You build up a little community and get to know each other.

    PS- I’m a Houstonian too!

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