thoughts on free time

January 28, 2012

It’s Saturday morning and I’m feeling overwhelmed. It’s the first day in a long while that I don’t have a single plan. Not a thing on my to-do list. I’ve been looking forward to it eagerly.

Meredith woke me up at 5 a.m. and I managed to stay in bed with her until around 6. We got up, I had coffee and oatmeal, and we played. I sat with her on the couch and finished a book while she chewed on her toys. It was good.

Then I cleaned the kitchen. I knew I’d feel better once that was done. I tidied up the living room, but that didn’t take long. I thought that I needed to sweep the floor, do laundry, and vacuum, but I didn’t feel like it right then. Meredith needed attention.

I picked her up and we walked around the house. We went into the extra room that I use for an office/craft room, and my head began spinning. I want to organize it. I want to work on several creative projects. I want to purge our house of the things we don’t need. I want to clean it from top to bottom. I want to read more books. I want to catch up on blogs and write and take pictures. I want to cook more and exercise. But I just have one day of free time, and Meredith needs me frequently. What should I do?

I walked out of the craft room. I sat down to write this. The dogs are barking and it is annoying me. I feel on edge. Anxious for no reason. I’m going to take a shower now, to clear my head.

Posted in: personal, me, personal, thoughts

Comments on thoughts on free time

  1. 1

    From Becca:

    Well, this is no help whatsoever, but I think those are just pretty typical “mom-type” feelings. Welcome to Motherhood :)

  2. 2

    From Trish:

    Free time?! I’m not sure I know what that is anymore! Elle is napping upstairs and I’m going through my bookshelves right now because I can’t do anything when she’s awake. She plays wonderfully by herself until I start opening a magazine (don’t even bother with the books anymore) or ipad or… Ha!

    I don’t think you’re looking for advice but one thing that helps me is picking ONE thing and feeling AWESOME when that ONE thing is done. Anything more than that seems to be asking too much. :-/

  3. 3

    From Holly:

    I get anxious when I have any stretch of free time too – I feel like there’s so much I want to get done in such a short period of time that I have no idea where to begin!

  4. 4

    From Becca:

    I agree with the becca above. I think it’s just part of being a mom and learning to let things go. Also I think it is one growing/adjusting after baby, like ok I got this what needs to be done now. Catching up on things that went undone while you had a newbie baby.

    For what it’s worth, I break my larger projects into smaller chunks that I can do across days instead of doing it all in one day or sitting. And I feel less anxious when I have a running project of my own.

  5. 5

    From Tabaitha:

    I agree with everyone above. It’s hard being a mom sometimes. But knowing that Meredith took comfort in your attention towards her, makes it all worth it. I haven’t had a chance to really clean the kids play room or finish the pile of laundry in the laundry toom, but tonight I tried to remind myself that those things will get done eventually, but my kids need me now.

  6. 6

    From Sarah:

    I feel like this all the time! You are so not alone. I have a million things I want and need to do, but I also want to spend time with my family. It’s a tough balance between family time and me time.

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