Just check the archives of this website and you’ll see that I’ve always been a sucker for goal-setting. However, I definitely have the tendency to measure my worth on how productive I am, which is one of the big lies I’ve had to face over the past couple of years. I would set goals to check items off a list, no matter if they really had any meaning for me or not.
After a couple years of survival mode and burnout, I’m finally setting goals again. This time, I’ve done a LOT of introspection about what matters most to me, and these goals are all pointed in that direction. I’m also using Powersheets for the first time, which have helped a lot to guide me.
I decided to set eight broad goals for the year, each for a different area of life. Most of them are not specific, but are aimed at celebrating progress over perfection. I will also be creating monthly and weekly goals (which will be specific) as well as daily habits I want to cultivate.
Eight may seem like a lot, and it kind of is! So I’ve decided that the first three are my top priorities. If I ever have to decide what to focus on based on time, money, or energy limitations, anything that brings me closer to those three will win out.
So here they are:
1: Come into full communion with the Catholic Church with joy and incorporate it into my whole life.
Even though this has been a big area of focus for me through the past year, I am keeping it at #1 priority because my faith is my anchor. This will be the year that I fully enter the church, which is a huge deal, so I want to embrace that.
2: Foster serenity by intentionally resting and rediscovering what brings me joy.
It’s taken me a long time to realize that I need a lot of sleep, alone time, and white space in my life to function optimally. I have been so quick to drop any hobbies that I enjoy in favor of productivity (and what I call “doing what I need to do to keep myself and the kids alive”), and while that may have been necessary for awhile, I want to be excited about them again. I did read a lot last year, but I want to be better about reading the things I want to read, not just reading for book clubs or what everyone else is reading. I also want to be better about abandoning books that aren’t right for me at the time. Anyway, self-care through rest and recreation is my second priority so that I can have the energy to pour into others (and also, it usually drops to the bottom of the list so I need to remind myself it is important.)
3: Love David well.
I want a better marriage; I want David to be sober and happy and home and involved. Unfortunately I have learned the hard way that I have no control over that. (I mean, if only he would just do what I tell him to do….) But the one thing I can control in our marriage is myself. Change yourself, and you change the relationship. I can love him well, and sometimes that looks like sending him love notes and going on dates, but other times it’s hard. It’s examining my own shortcomings that lead to codependency. It’s setting boundaries.
4: Grow as a present, patient, and nurturing parent.
Now we get into the rest of life. I am full-on single parenting right now, and I can see it as a burden or an opportunity. My kids are actually pretty adorable and fun most of the time and I want to enjoy their company. I never expect to be a perfect mother but I can definitely grow.
5: Lower my cholesterol to normal, and get physically stronger through exercise.
I thought long and hard about what I wanted my health goal to be, and I landed on this because what really matters to me is to feel energized and to be healthy in the long run. I really have no idea why my cholesterol is high, but I know I can most likely get it down with some changes in diet.
6: Build a tribe of local friends to pour into and accept support from.
I have spent much of the past year isolated and lonely. Now more than ever I need a community of support, and since it feels good to focus on other people rather than my own problems, I want to give back. I am not someone who needs a wide array of friends, but I do well with a select few that are very deep. I would like to take the initiative more on reaching out to friends who I click with, but for whatever reason don’t see much.
7: Cultivate a life-giving home through the domestic church, routines, simplification, and decor.
Our home is my happy place. I love being there and everything about it is meaningful to me. This is always a fun one for me to work on.
8: Pay off two debts, and save at least $1000 for emergencies.
We have been doing the debt snowball method for over a year now, and it is working. Even though we still have significant debt, with diligence it can all be paid off in three years or sooner if we focus. I’m excited to see real progress this year.
If you’ve read this far, way to go! I thought about breaking this into another post for January goals, but then it would probably never get done. So I’m going to keep going and hope you can handle it. ;)
Here is where I get specific, and this is what I’ve got planned for January:
- Memorize the Chaplet of Divine Mercy: a meditative prayer for healing that I love. If I have it memorized I can pray it more easily and often. (Goal 1)
- Read the Al-Anon big book: It’s been a long time since I’ve read recovery literature in depth. Now is the perfect time. (Goal 3)
- Do a house refresh: Put away the Christmas decorations and do some deeper cleaning. (Goal 7)
- No personal spending, and less than $100 on groceries. (Goal 8)
- Read a book (Goal 2)
- Write David a love note (Goal 3)
- Make plans with a friend (Goal 6)
- Read the Bible: I’m still in the middle of a reading plan. (Goal 1)
- 7-minute workout: I’m aiming for 5x per week or 22x this month. (Goal 5)
- 10,000 steps (Goal 5)
- Kids hygiene: I need to be more diligent about making sure the kids take frequent showers and brush their teeth. This is embarrassing but real! (Goal 4)