Posts About recovery

anticipation

January 21, 2018

I keep wanting to write – I have so many things I want to share – but ultimately I run out of time and/or energy. I’m such a morning person, and anything mentally creative including blogging really needs to happen in the morning or else it won’t get done. However, I rarely have dedicated computer time in the morning. I’m not apologizing for not blogging (no one really cares but me, I know), but just venting a little. I do miss it. I am taking the time right now while the kids are playing outside before church to write this. David has been gone now for five weeks and four days. He comes home on Friday. In many ways, of…
Continue Reading »

have courage, dear heart

December 30, 2017

My word for 2018 is Courage. Originally, it was going to be Serenity. I was tired of being in survival mode, feeling chaotic, stressed out about my circumstances. I wanted peace. I am deep in the recovery world now, and the Serenity Prayer is one we recite often: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Serenity is being in the eye of the storm. Everything may be crazy around you, but you have the ability to remain calm. I do want serenity. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that my personality naturally seeks out peace and calm. That is always going to be something I am searching for. And usually,…
Continue Reading »

ten ways i’m working through depression

September 11, 2017

For the past several months, I have been experiencing depression and anxiety like I never have before. I have had short-lived periods of it, mostly situational, but they resolved and in general I have always thought of myself as being free from mental health problems. At first I thought that it was normal hormonal stuff, because it was coming cyclically. But it kept getting worse, so I finally went to see my OB/Gyn about it. She tested my hormones, which all came back normal, and didn’t end up prescribing me anything because my description of it didn’t sound like typical PMDD. I have known this doctor for about seven years, we have had fairly frequent contact, and I trust her….
Continue Reading »

when your vocation is a cross

August 3, 2017

“It’s a good thing you weren’t born Catholic,” my husband said. “You would have become a nun.” We were in the car together, without kids, a rare occurrence. It was shortly after his first detox from alcohol relapse back in October (but not the one that would stick). We hadn’t been speaking very much over the past six months, and certainly not about anything deep. Being in the car reduced the awkwardness. I thought about what he said. Finally, I replied, “You know, you’re right. I think I’d enjoy being a nun.” This was maybe not the best thing to admit to one’s husband, that one would enjoy a lifetime of celibacy foregoing marriage and family. He certainly pretended to…
Continue Reading »

waiting

July 31, 2017

I’m in a period of waiting. Does anyone like waiting? Transitions? I would honestly like to know. I much prefer to have decisions made, plans in effect, routines functioning, etc. Primarily, I am waiting to enter the Catholic Church. Did you see that coming? Maybe, if you get my newsletter or follow me on Instagram. But the Catholic Church surprised me. After almost a decade watching one of my best friends live out her authentic relationship with Jesus as a Catholic, I finally started asking more questions about it over a year ago. I realized that I had a multitude of misconceptions about it, and discovered a fullness of faith that I hadn’t dreamed possible. I had a really hard…
Continue Reading »