Posts Tagged ‘infertility

waiting & learning

April 14, 2010

I never intended to write publicly about my quest to have a child. I thought it would be easy to get pregnant, but it wasn’t, and it isn’t. When I finally took the scary step to see a doctor, I thought the hard part was over; she’d give me some medication and life would be good. I did get pregnant–without the medication even!–but it ended in loss, putting me back at the beginning. No, before the beginning. I now find myself in an extremely long and complicated process, and I haven’t even started fertility treatment yet. Bear with me as I share a little bit about this whole thing. After I miscarried, part of me wanted to start trying again…
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this is what it’s really like (on miscarriage)

February 26, 2010

I confess that before this week I lived in complete and utter ignorance when it came to miscarriages. I was under the na├»ve impression that if it happened fairly early on, that everything just came out in a rush, all at once, and then it was over with. I pictured it kind of like when a woman’s water breaks before she goes into labor – messy, but very little physical pain. Ha. Hahahahaha. When I first began bleeding this week, and I knew what was happening, I called my doctor’s office and also spoke with several friends who had had miscarriages in the past. They all told me the same thing: it’s like a heavy period. And since I’ve had…
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goodbye, gumball

February 24, 2010

When I found out that I was pregnant, I was surprised, overjoyed, excited, and afraid. It didn’t feel real to me, and I kept worrying that something was wrong. The only real symptom I had was that I seemed to be a little more hungry, but food was distasteful. People kept telling me how lucky I was, and went on to tell me their pregnancy horror stories of vomiting for 7 months straight. I thought to myself how great it would be if I continued to feel this well – as long as everything was okay with the baby. I tried to convince myself over and over that this was really happening, and that I shouldn’t worry and just be…
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