As I was driving home tonight, I remembered a conversation I had with my dad when I was learning to drive. I think it went something like this:

Me: So the right lane is for the people going below the speed limit, the middle lane is for people going at the speed limit, and the left lane is for people going above the speed limit?

Dad: pause...Yeah, that’s one way to look at it.

That was the way my structured, naive little brain worked. I never would have imagined that the right lane is for people going a little above the speed limit, the middle lane is for people going a little more over the speed limit, and the left lane is for people going a lot over the speed limit. With the occasional crazy slow driver thrown in there.

Speaking of driving, there are exactly two things that I remember specifically learning in driver’s ed. First, that when coming to a stop you should leave enough room in front of you so that you can see the rear wheels of the car in front of you or so that you can see the stop sign. I rarely do this. Second, that the distance at which you should put on your turn signal before turning is approximately equal to the length of two houses. I do this and think of it almost every single day.

There is only one thing that I remember learning in defensive driving, which is that it is considered littering even if you just toss an apple core or a banana peel out the window. But it’s bio-degradable, right? Doesn’t matter. Don’t mess with Texas!