kapachino

Category: me

  • Ten On Tuesday

    1. When you were a senior in high school, what career did you think you’d choose? Did you? Why or why not?
    The thing I loved best was singing, so I thought I’d somehow find myself in music ministry. I went to a tiny Christian college (the first time around) and since there was no “music ministry” major instead I started on a double major of music and ministry. I ended up dropping the music part when I discovered that a) it was less church worship music and more classical training, and b) that I would have to take piano classes throughout school. Piano and I have a rough history.

    2. What one thing about the “real world” did you find most surprising once you were on your own?
    I don’t think I had a very shocking transition into adulthood, but I suppose the biggest change I had to adapt to was not being able to take time off anytime I needed to. Like, sometimes I have to go to work even when I’m sick because I’m not sick enough to warrant the day off.

    3. Name 3 things you think your closest friends DON’T like about you.
    Different friends would say different things. Some might not like that I don’t drink, party, or stay up late. Some might not like that I can get over-competitive if I let myself. Some might not like that I (unknowingly?) put out an air that makes me seem like a saint or a nun, and they are afraid to admit any failures to me. Some might not like that I am fairly set in my ways and don’t deal with change well. I think that was four, but oh well.

    4. In order to sleep, do you need background noise or absolute quiet?
    I prefer quiet, although I do enjoy white noise. I can’t deal with much more than that, and have a pair of earplugs on my bedside table just in case.

    5. Why do you choose to reside in your current city? Yes, you have a choice.
    I was born in Houston and have spent most of my life here. My entire family, plus my in-laws, live here. The climate is warm, it’s easy driving distance from the beach or the hill country, and there are a ton of amazing restaurants. It has the biggest medical center in the country, one of the best theatre districts, and the people are super friendly. It’s home, and I love it here.

    6. Are you close to your parents?
    Yes! They live only a few minutes away, and I get to see them at least once a week. One thing I love about adulthood is being friends with my parents.

    7. What is your favorite fiction book? Poem? Blog?
    My favorite fiction book is Lord of the Rings. I’m not much of a poetry person, although I have read some that I truly love. (I just can’t remember them right now.) As for my favorite blog, I adore all of my friends and enjoy everything they have to say. But I do have one huge blog crush on Holly from Nothing But Bonfires. I want to be her.

    8. Do you enjoy cooking or is it a chore?
    I really do enjoy it, but it stresses me out because I’m not experienced yet. I need a LOT of time to get a meal together which isn’t always feasible.

    9. Be honest. What one thing would (the majority of) your blog readers be shocked to find out about you?
    Y’all, my personal slogan is “There’s No Catch.” What you see is what you get. Of course there are personal things that I don’t blog about, but if you and I were to sit down and chat I don’t think any of those things would shock you.

    10. If you were given your own national holiday, what would you require people to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner on the Day of You? Would there be a parade? Greeting cards?
    Breakfast would be eggs, bacon, and pancakes. Lunch would be baked potato soup and sandwiches. Dinner would be chicken and dumplings. Everyone would get the day off, even nurses. In this fantasy there would be a way to make that work.

  • Friday Things: To Be Happy About

    Goodreads iPhone app!

    Y’all should know by now that I love Goodreads. I’ve been dying for an app for a long time, and it’s finally here. Now I can post updates of my reading progress, browse books, add to my “to read” list, and read reviews from anywhere! More info here.

    Nintendo enthusiast!

    The lovely people at Brand About Town have chosen me to share my love for Nintendo. I’ve got a Wii and a Wii Fit Plus on the way, which will be perfect for helping me ease back into exercising after all these health setbacks. My new triathlon goal date is August, and there will certainly be some 100+ degree days where I won’t want to go outside to run. I’m so excited. (Not to mention, I’m still intent on conquering Mario Galaxy one day….)

    Pedicure tomorrow!

    Although what I really need is entire weekend in the spa, this will have to do. I haven’t splurged on a pedicure in way too long, considering they are one of life’s greatest pleasures–especially when done at my favorite salon & spa.

    More time off!

    Even though I’ve taken a lot of time off work lately, it hasn’t been fun. I was supposed to work late today, but because of a drop in our census I’m not needed and I get to go home and enjoy the weather. I also have this weekend off, and I’m hoping that it will be just the thing to lift my spirits.

    Here’s to happiness. :)

  • fighting the sadness

    The only good thing about getting so sick for a couple of days is that it completely took my mind off anything else that was wrong. For a little while, I wasn’t sad or emotional – every part of me was focused on feeling better. And now that I do, physically (although I’m still barely eating), I can start to feel my crazy hormones take over again. The sadness creeps in subtly and slowly, and today I began to feel its fuzzy tentacles wrapping around my heart. I decided that I didn’t want to just accept that, so I took action.

    First, I made an appointment for a pedicure this weekend. It helps me to have something to look forward to in the immediate future, no matter how small. Next I got myself out of the house and visited my sister-in-law and my nephew because sitting at home alone just makes things worse, no matter how comfortable my bed is. Finally, I stopped at a place that always makes me happy: Target.

    I had a $100 gift card from my birthday and I figured today was the day to use it. A hundred dollars is very easy to spend at Target, especially when it’s not your own money. But here is what I came away with:

    The placemats and napkins are for making my tiny kitchen table look pretty (here’s hoping I will get back to cooking someday soon), the tea kettle is for making coffee with my french press (whenever I can tolerate coffee again), the basket is to hold throw blankets and to match another one we have, and the sandals are for looking cute (although not in that picture – but hopefully they will with a dress and once I’ve had the aforementioned pedicure).

    So far, so good. I haven’t cried once today, which I’m pretty proud of. And I’m about to eat my first real meal in three days: baked potato soup in a bread bowl from Panera. I have one more day off work to relax, and then we’ll see how I handle Thursday. I know it may take awhile, but I want to be happy again, and I’m willing to fight for it.

  • I’ve Got To Find A Better Way To Use My Vacation Time

    For one reason or another, my body is rebelling against me. It has a grudge, and it is taking its revenge – very effectively.

    Maybe I didn’t give myself sufficient time to recover from the miscarriage; I don’t know. Maybe it had some unknown effect on my immune system. What I do know is that I’m sick.

    Last week was a roller coaster of emotions. At first it felt good to be back at work and distracted, and there were times when I could almost convince myself that I was fine. Only I couldn’t shake the sadness that was underlying it all, and I realized I had become extremely sensitive. The smallest thing could set me off into a crying fit, and this became extremely embarrassing when it happened on Saturday at work in front of everyone. That night I kind of lost it, and I was dreading going back to work the next day.

    Well, as they say, be careful what you wish for.

    On Saturday night around 11 p.m. I woke up suddenly and all I could think was, something doesn’t feel right. It didn’t take me long to realize that my stomach was unsettled. I felt like I might need to throw up, but couldn’t. After a very uncomfortable hour (or two; I didn’t exactly keep track) whatever had upset my GI tract finally started to come out – both ways. Let me just say that I used to wonder how my patients ended up with diarrhea on the walls and in their hair. I don’t anymore.

    I spent the remainder of that night either huddled on the toilet or embracing it, all the while expelling every last ounce of fluid from my body. I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t keep anything down. When I started getting muscle cramps and my condition seemed to only be worsening, I got worried. Around 4:30 a.m. I had David drive me to the ER. For the first time, I was the patient.

    I think I was there for about six hours, during which time they did tests, gave me lots of fluid, and some precious IV Zofran. Everything came back normal, and the doctor told me I just caught a bad bug which could take a few days to resolve. Once I felt stable enough, I was discharged with a prescription for oral Zofran and went straight to my bed.

    For the rest of the day Sunday I didn’t move off my back. Even turning to the side made my stomach revolt. I got a few hours of sleep and woke up with a fever of 101.3, but two Tylenol brought it down. David forced me to drink some water and Powerade, but it wasn’t easy. We watched the Oscars from bed, and then went to sleep – me propped up on pillows because I was scared to lie down flat.

    I just want to interject here to tell you how amazing David has been to me. I know he is grieving too, but he has focused all his energy on taking care of me. He stayed with me the entire time in the hospital, getting no sleep himself. When we came home he actually cleaned the house, because he knows how much that means to me. Then that night he went on several different errands for me when I decided I needed something, and all the while taking care of our crazy dogs too. I can’t imagine going through all this without him.

    Today I feel much better, just because I haven’t felt any nausea. I’m on the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) now, although a toasted bagel, banana, and applesauce cup was enough to fill me up for the day. I’ve only gotten out of bed twice, and each time I do I feel a rushing headache. And all those crazy hormones and emotions? They’re still there.

    I’m not very happy with my body right now. I’m not very happy in general, although I suppose that’s normal. I will be again, one day. Hopefully soon.

  • Friday Things

    Today was a hard day for me, emotionally. It started last night out of nowhere, and then when I received a package this morning that I had ordered for future baby, well, you can imagine how that made me feel.

    So in order to avoid being too depressing, here is some randomness from the week.

    My dogs can be really cute and sweet. Even Oliver.

    But then he goes and eats my books. Four so far, to be exact. Taken from the bookshelf.

    Oh, and I chopped off my hair. Why? I don’t know. Something to do.

    Other things I’m thinking about:

    • I think it’s time to start exercising again. There is a super sprint triathlon on May 9 that I think I could be ready for if I start now. It’s only a 200 yard swim, 8 mile bike, and 2 mile run.
    • I would like to finish learning how to solve a Rubik’s cube at some point.
    • This is the month of doctor’s appointments. I am going to more this month than I usually do all year. Also, I am going to demand to have my wisdom teeth removed, so that should be fun.
    • There have been some moments of real joy in my work this week, and then in a matter of minutes it would turn into chaos and stress. Work has been great to distract me and keep me busy, but this week it has been tiring to the point of exhaustion. Still, my better days are the days that I’m at work.
    • I made a Formspring page, and then promptly forgot about it. Sorry if I haven’t answered your question yet, but I will soon!

    Have a great weekend, friends. :)