Category: thoughts

  • trying to respond

    I am such an avoider of conflict. It’s really not that great of a characteristic. I am having a very hard time dealing with this situation with my friend. The conflict was thrust upon me, and now I have to respond. The last time we spoke I wasn’t prepared, and things were left in a bad place. Since I didn’t know when I would see her again, I ended up leaving her a letter to read. It was honest and at the same time caring, but I’m worried that she will just see it as judgment and intolerance and miss the love. I’m doing what I can, but it’s hard.

    In other news, I have my first clinical tomorrow. A 12 1/2 hour shift in the surgical ICU. It’s going to be a long day. I hope I like it.

    And finally, for a break from this melancholy, check out my good friend Carmen’s video blog, One Leg Duck. This week I am a featured character, filmed on our recent trip to New Mexico. It’s a silly short little thing.

  • troubled

    What do you do when one of your oldest, closest friends starts acting in a way that doesn’t fit her at all, disrespects your friendship by being deliberately deceitful to you about it, and shows no remorse for anything? My first instinct is to avoid this person and have as little to do with her as possible. I know that’s not very loving, and I need to be there for her. But I really don’t know how to reach out right now.

  • atonement, the movie

    I recently told you a little about the book we read for our book club, Atonement. Since it is Now a Major Motion Picture! we decided to go see it as a group. It took us a really long time to figure out when all five of us could make it together, but we finally settled on last night at seven.

    Well, Leah ended up not being able to come. Amanda was late because she had to pick up Cleo from the groomers. Courtney, Sara, and I walked in right before the actual movie began because with rain and traffic it took us quite awhile to get there. So a bit of a rough start, but I was really looking forward to the movie and was set on enjoying it.

    I was sitting next to Sara, and I noticed that she was breathing a little noisily but I figured it was just her congestion because she’s been sick. But then it became louder, so I glanced over and saw that she was completely asleep and snoring. Not too long after that Courtney got sick to her stomach and left to spend a good while in the bathroom. I noticed that Amanda was focused more on her phone than the movie. I think I’m the only one who enjoyed the movie in its entirety, although to be fair Courtney was really into the movie and couldn’t help that she got sick.

    As for the movie itself, I liked it even though I thought it was a much better book. The music was especially cool. The girl who played Briony was really creepy looking. And that’s about the extent of my review. Apparently it won the Golden Globe for best motion picture, drama. Out of the other nominees, I have only seen No Country For Old Men, which I think I liked better than Atonement. But anyway, there you have it.

  • bouncing back

    Life is busy, and obviously sometimes it’s hard for me to keep up with writing here. Sometimes, for one reason or another, I’m tempted to quit. But I’ve come to realize that I really like this thing, this little space of mine. So I’m still plugging away. It wasn’t a resolution of mine to blog more, but it’s as good a time as any to try to. You might get some entries that aren’t very interesting or good, not that they ever are really, but from now on they might be even less so. I’m just saying.

    Now onto my topic for the day. It’s tough when things don’t meet expectations, even little things. For example, for Boyfriend David’s birthday I bought him an FM Direct Adapter for his Sirius radio to get hard-wired into his truck. What this is supposed to do is eliminate all the static which annoys him to no end. I thought it was an awesome present, and when I gave it to him last night he was really excited. So we decided to take his truck in to Best Buy to get it installed today while we were both at work.

    We dropped the truck off, and I gave him a ride back to work. A few hours later they called to say it was ready. As we drove over to the store we were both really nervous that it wasn’t going to work, but deep down we knew it was going to. Why would they sell the things if they didn’t work? So we got to the store, paid, got his keys, and then both climbed into the cab for the moment of truth. “The Lighthouse’s Tale” by Nickel Creek was blasting, and guess what? So was the static. Our hearts sank.

    We got the guy from the Geek Squad to come out and listen to it, and he told us that the FM direct adapter that I bought must be bad, that there was a bad batch of them, that everything else with the installation went fine. He said he would exchange it for a new one and reinstall it. In order to do that we had to go to customer service to print out a new receipt, after waiting in a long line, of course. Finally, receipt in hand, we went back to the garage and handed it to the guy. Almost as an afterthought, we asked if he had any more in stock. Of course, as it turned out, they don’t. Neither did any other Best Buy around, except for one about 30 minutes away, which supposedly had three.

    I went back to work, and David started driving out there to pick one up. But he didn’t get far before turning around, because the traffic was so bad. He decided to go in the evening instead, and have a coworker help him drop his truck off tomorrow. But when he went to the store this evening, the Best Buy that supposedly had three FM direct adapters actually had none and never did have any. So now we’re stuck with a faulty one, waiting for another shipment of some kind.

    Many times today I’ve had to fight the urge to feel bad that my present that I was so excited about didn’t really work out, and instead only caused more stress. It could have led to a disappointing evening. But David and I are learning to adapt and be positive, and instead we got Bennigan’s to go and spent the evening eating, playing with the dogs, watching our favorite show, and enjoying each other. I am very grateful for that.

  • hello, happy birthday, the year begins!

    Hello friends. Funny thing. I just got back from vacation, and I wrote a whole post before I left, but then I forgot to publish it. Sorry about that. But before I get any farther, happy birthday David, my love, and I hope to spend many more with you. :)

    Had to get that out of my system, but before I get too sappy, a brief rundown of my vacation. For the fourth year in a row I traveled with my good friend and former roommate Carmen and her sister Lauren to stay in a cabin in Angel Fire, New Mexico. We decided that three years of doing something makes a tradition, and so this has become one of ours. Highlights of the trip included skiing, snowmobiling, eating, holing up in the cabin and reading, watching movies, and playing games.

    Now I am getting back into the swing of normal life. I was back at work today, and classes start Wednesday. Also on my priority list is running to get ready for that fast-approaching race I’ve entered and trying to pay off some of the credit card bill that I somehow amassed.

    Oh, and happy new year! Last year, one of my resolutions was to floss my teeth every night, and that one actually stuck. For the record, this year I resolve to stop sending text messages while I drive, an action that, although it is something at which I excel, I recognize as a dangerous habit. I already broke it once because I forgot, but I’m trying really hard now.

    It’s going to be a momentous year!