Category: thoughts

  • real life rambles

    real life ramble

    As I write this, it is Sunday afternoon. David is out driving with Meredith. I’m sitting at a desk in my craft room – leaning back, with my legs crossed over the knee – and Liam is asleep on top of me. Somehow I’ve managed to balance him on my chest with his head on my shoulder and get my hands free to type. My legs are propped against the legs of the desk in such a way as to keep me exactly in this position. He is a large baby, as I may have mentioned before, so I can’t say that I am exactly comfortable.

    I opened the computer intending to browse my Project Life Pinterest board. Before Liam fell asleep on me he was puttering around the craft room floor, getting into things he shouldn’t have been. I was letting him, in exchange for being able to work on Project Life. There are a couple of blank pockets in this current spread that I wasn’t sure what to do with, so I wanted some inspiration. But then I figured it was a good time to write a few words.

    Now my neck is getting a crick in it and my back is becoming sore. Let me shift my weight. There, that’s a little better.

    A couple weeks ago I wrote about being super tired, acting grumpy, and needing to slow down and release expectations. Well. It kind of got worse before it got better. I shed some tears. I felt low-level depressed for a week or so.

    But the last few days have been good. I feel like things are being handled. The house is clean and decorated for Christmas, the laundry is done, the week’s meals are planned, and we’ve had a lot of downtime to connect as a family. I ran three times this week, and reached out to a friend to do the long runs on weekends together. We did our first yesterday and it was SO much better to go with her on a trail instead of by myself in my neighborhood. I mean, the first half marathon is only six weeks away. I basically have to add a mile per week to get to where I need to be. So this is being prioritized.

    I also told David that I would really like some time to myself this weekend that doesn’t involve running or monitoring a sleeping child. This right now, this doesn’t count. I’m stuck to this chair unless I want to risk waking Liam up. If I were here alone, I’d get myself a drink and turn on some music at least. But he is taking the kids to his parents’ house for the evening and even though I’m tempted to be jealous (I love having dinner over there with them) I need the alone time to recharge.

    I’ve been really into Ali Edwards’ memory-keeping projects lately. I’m still working on my Week in the Life album. I’m currently documenting for December Daily, although I’m going to complete my entire album after the fact because I wasn’t able to prepare ahead of time. (I really hope Ali does Week in the Life earlier in the year next year, to give us time to finish up before moving on to December Daily.) I’m thinking of joining her One Little Word class for next year.

    I love how these projects all have a different purpose and they are all perfect complements to Project Life. This morning Meredith and I looked through the year’s album and I was blown away again at how much I love it. Everything about it. I’m so grateful that I decided to give it a try almost three years ago, and that now it is almost second nature.

    Real time update: David and Meredith just came home to pick up Liam and go to his parents’ house, and now I am really, truly, alone for the first time in months that I’m not also running or driving. So, it’s go time. Should I scrapbook? Read? Wrap gifts? Watch Netflix? A little of everything? I don’t know yet how I’ll spend the next few hours, but I’m feeling pretty good about it.

  • slowing down, letting go

    On Saturday night David and I had a little heart to heart. He told me something that was hard to hear, something that I immediately wanted to make excuses for, or dismiss. It didn’t fit with my idea of myself.

    He told me that I never seem happy.

    I got defensive because I’m an optimist. I am rarely angry. I’m calm. In my mind, I am happy most of the time. I love my life and there isn’t much I would change about it. But obviously, there was a reason that David came to me with that; he doesn’t just make stuff up. I must not be acting happy.

    in progress: week in the life album

    I thought about it, and I have some reasons: I haven’t been sleeping well because Liam is up a lot at night. My running mileage is increasing and my body is sore and tired. I’m an introvert and I haven’t had much time to myself lately to recharge. All this intense parenting is wearing me out.

    But then I realized: that’s life. I’m a working mom with two little kids. I’m always going to be tired. I’m rarely going to have time to myself. I’m always going to have to prioritize personal projects and I’ll never be able to get the amount done that I want to. I know life goes in phases and one day this will change, but right now this is where I’m at.

    in progress: advent calendar

    I’ve been letting circumstances determine my attitude, and although it may not show to the rest of the world, my husband recognizes when I’m grumpy. Although I’ve been doing daily  Bible study, it’s just been something on my to-do list. I haven’t been letting it sink in. I haven’t been practicing gratitude.

    On Sunday the kids needed me all day long. David was sick, so I was mostly on my own. It was wet and cold outside. The kids refused to nap. But I was determined to have a better attitude. We did a lot of puzzles. We watched some Mickey Mouse Club. We baked cookies. I think I did better. I acted happier, because I am happy.

    in progress: books i want to read

    But…I am also tired. That’s still true. And I feel a bit chaotic inside, and I don’t like that. So I’m going to pull back on some things, release my expectations. I probably won’t be posting here every day like I have been. Some projects that I want to get to might have to wait. I think it’s time for me to slow down.

  • tgif: cold weather edition

    tgif cold weather edition

    The high of my week was lots of extra baby cuddles the last few days, but that’s because…

    The low of my week was getting vomited on all night by Liam and finding out that he has another bad ear and sinus infection. We are headed to a specialist later this morning and I’m eager to see what they have to say. Poor little guy catches every whiff of an infection that comes his way and it’s not even winter yet.

    The best money I spent this week was a $25 copay and $35 for medication, realistically. But the most fun money I spent was about $7 on page protectors for my week in the life album.

    A podcast episode I loved was “Personality Types and Parenting” on Inspired to Action. This gave me so much more insight into the Meyers-Briggs typing and I really want to dig into it more. I also got lots of ideas for Liam’s first birthday while listening to “Turning One, It Ain’t About the Baby” on One Bad Mother.

    My weekend plans include craft night tonight, going for a long run (aiming for 8-9 miles), attending a kids’ birthday party, helping out in the preschool class in church, and making cookies. Hopefully I’ll also get to do some crafting, but there’s never any guarantee. :)

    Happy Friday!

     

  • texas style council 2015 : i’m going!

    txsc15

    I just had to devote an entire post to the fact that I’m planning to attend my first ever blog conference in March of 2015, Texas Style Council.

    Going to a blog conference is something I’ve been wanting to do for awhile. I really want to meet some people and learn some things! However, having little kids and budgeting constraints have prevented me from going until now.

    I actually know the founder of Texas Style Council! We met in Austin through a mutual friend many years ago and I’ve been following her online ever since. The conference took a hiatus last year and this year has been totally revamped. It’s not going to be one of those flashy things at a hotel (although that might be fun, too). The theme is CAMP: create a meaningful presence. And it’s at a camp, literally.

    I pretty much love everything about the new theme. The camping, the focus on presence and story and community, the smaller number of attendees (275), the speakers, the fact that it’s within driving distance from me and that all meals are included (SUCH a great deal). I even signed up to volunteer to set up and tear down, because an introvert like me will appreciate that extra level of involvement, plus a chance to make some connections before plunging in.

    Liam will be 14 months old when I leave him for the first time, and I’ll be gone for 4 nights. I’ll be able to pump and store milk at the conference. I’m sure I will be incredibly sad (at first), but I think it’ll be easier with the second kid; I didn’t leave Meredith overnight until she was 28 months old.

    Anyway! I’m super excited and I just wanted to throw this out there to see if any of you might be able to go as well, and in hopes of connecting with some of the other attendees. And if you’ve ever been to a blog conference, how did it go? Give me your wisdom!

  • tgif : week in the life edition

    tgif week in the life

    The high of my week was probably just the entire process of documenting a week in the life. It’s been much easier than I expected, and it has me very excited to put together a mini album. Two more days to go after today!

    The low of my week was a very difficult night of parenting on Wednesday. Meredith had been so good all week until then, so I knew a meltdown was coming. Thankfully I had read a lot in Raising Your Spirited Child that day so I had more patience than usual and some new techniques to try. They weren’t all successful, but at least I kept my cool through most of it (which was all evening – 5 hours of intense parenting).

    The best money I spent was $34.95 to order the week in the life kit (no album) from Ali Edwards. I have a pretty good idea of how I want to use it, and I love Ali’s design plan.

    A podcast episode I loved was Motherhood and Nutrition – Simple Steps To Eating Better – A Chat with Trina Holden” on Inspired to Action. I’m just getting into this podcast and loving it so far. Since this summer when I did whole30 I’ve been very focused on transforming the way we eat and there were a lot of practical tips in this episode.

    My weekend plans include trick-or-treating in my brother-in-law’s neighborhood (so all the cousins can go together), and going on a double date tomorrow to attend The Addams Family Musical that my brother is directing. If you’re local, you should come! It’s free, and the productions are really well done. Other than that, we have no plans. So I’m pretty excited about that. :)